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Old
Apr 12th, 2012, 21:14 PM
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O/T my "best friend" :(

Ugh I'm so upset Warning: huge rant!

Since I told my supposed best friend that I was pregnant at 12 weeks, we have spoken five times..four of those phone calls I made. I moved away from the town we grew up in a year and a half ago now but before I got pregnant we would speak on the phone fortnightly and email/text eachother often.

The day I told her, her first words were "I hope your OH sticks around." After that she continued on for half an hour about how dirty babies are and how you can't rehome them like you can with pets I just listened and told her I was sure and hung up and cried to OH about it.

The few phone calls we've had after that she has said some really disgusting things to me about my LO, for example, "what if she gets your OH's eye?" My OH was in a very bad motorbike accident ten years ago and is lucky to be alive, naturally he has some scars..Why in the world would my LO inherit a scar??!! As well as the "what if she has downs syndrome?" And being my best friend for 13 years, she knows all my personal insecurities and has said the "what if LO inherits.." about all of them. These things upset me but I put it down to her jealousy, she hates kids so not jealous of my baby but is 23 and has never been in a functional relationship and will often sleep with men who don't call her back etc. I just guessed she was jealous someone was willing to make such a huge committment to me so I brushed off all her nasty comments.

She contacted me in February to tell me she had quit her job due to her alcoholism and depression and didn't want to go to rehab but maybe she could come and live with me and OH while she sobers up and gets her life back on track and she would help out with our baby... One of her reasons for not wanting to go to rehab was that she didn't want to quit smoking..like I want a smoker looking after my baby (I quit when I found out I was pregnant so it's not like I need the temptation either). Was very hard to tell her no and she abruptly ended the conversation when she didn't get her way.

Yesterday she texted me for the first time in two months (after forgetting my birthday a couple of weeks ago, for the second year in a row!) saying I should skype her today at 1pm. I log on and am waiting now for her for an hour and a quarter, an hour ago she told me she would be ten minutes... What do I even say when/if she calls me?

I am just so mad, I feel like cutting out a friend is such an extreme thing to do, especially considering we have know eachother since we were 10 But I just don't know what to do, why should I let her upset me? Sorry for the hugest rant in the history of BnB, I actually feel a bit better now getting it out. ugh.

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Old
Apr 12th, 2012, 21:55 PM
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she sounds really rude and inconsiderate.. even a little jealous.

I'd ignore her and have nothing to do with her until she learns to grow up and be supportive like a real friend.

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Apr 12th, 2012, 22:34 PM
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Omg thats not a friend at all. I agree you need to cut her until she can be a true friend. Friends are supposed to be supportive and there for you, not make you cry and get you upset.

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Apr 12th, 2012, 22:35 PM
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She's not a friend. You're better off without her. Xx

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Apr 13th, 2012, 07:03 AM
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I know all about ending a friendship. My best friend since around 13 and I don't speak anymore. We went to college together and even roomed together. But things just fell apart. She didn't even formally invite me to her wedding, although we had always said we would be each others maid of honor, and chose someone else to stand with her. Truth is I don't miss her or the way she made me feel. I know it's hard but when you let go of a friendship like that, it's actually quit relieving, especially the longer it's split. Have there been times over the years I wanted to talk to her? Of course, when my grandma died, when I had my DD, when i got married, but for the most part it was the best decision for me, and who knows maybe for her also.
Of course it's your decision to make, but it sounds like you are in completely different stages of your lives. You're growing up, having a family, making responsible choices while she is sinking and doesn't want the help to get out.

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Apr 13th, 2012, 07:05 AM
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I'm sorry...I lost a friend in my previous pregnancy and now I've lost one in this one. I don't go around flaunting myself but now she is too busy for me :/

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