OT/Rant: Discipline your kids in public! SERIOUSLY!
I am so, so, SO tired of seeing parents let their kids run amok in public while they sit there unphased. Just because your kid's behavior isn't bothering you doesn't mean he or she isn't being a nuisance to everyone else!
so i'm in the doctors office this morning and this lady is sitting on the opposite side of the office with her little boy. he has to be about 5 or 6 years old. he is cutting up: running around, climbing in furniture, will not sit or keep still, pulling magazines out of the racks and onto the floor and its clearly a nuisance to other people in the office. but his mama is too immersed in her game of angry birds to look up and tell her kid to sit down and not move.
now, i'm expecting my first kid, so i haven't yet been tasked with the duty of keeping a young one in line, but it can't be that hard. my mom had 6 kids and she could sit us all down with one look. we knew not to cut up in public because she gave us a disclaimer of what would happen if we embarrassed her before we even stepped in the building. why is it that so many parents just let their kids run amok and cause havoc but if someone else tells them to discipline their kid they want to fight?
I go to a mom/tots group and this was something that actually came up in discussion. Now I don't know where you live, but I live in Canada, so may be different. But here people are VERY quick to call social services if you so much swat your kid on the butt (Not hard) with their clothes on. People are so quick to judge what they think is child abuse. Now don't get me wrong, I think its great that people do this, however, there is a line between disciplined and child abuse. So because of this a lot of parents fear about disciplining their children in public.
However, than there is the parent that just doesn't care.
^^ I know what you mean.. it's the same way in the US. My brother and I rarely got spanked.. but when we needed it, we got it!
I also noticed that though.. I was at a tire place getting a flat fixed, and I was inside waiting.. well, the mom was playing on her phone.. and when her baby cried she tried to pacify him by telling him to look at the screen? meanwhile the father of the child was chasing the other one around.
I mean, it's a tire place.. it's not exactly the safest place on the planet! put your damn phone down and take care of your kids!
I dont think she was saying parents need to hit/spank a child to discipline them.. you just need to make them see that there are consequences to acting inappropriately. I know a girl who is TERRIBLE about this with her kids. At my baby shower one of her kids stuck her hands in my cake, opened and mixed up more than half my presents (Imagine those thank you cards!), was running around, spilling things everywhere, and taking all the candy out of the favors (there were hard candies in them so my concern was her choking) Not one time did the mother get out of her seat to check on her or even say anything to her! The only person she listens to is her moms boyfriend who tells her no then puts her in the time out chair if she doesn't listen. But the mom refuses to be "the bad guy" and her kids have NO respect for her.
I sooo agree with this. I worked at a grocery store for 6 years, and oh the things I have seen. From children trying to put stuff in pockets, to trying to climb on the belt, pulling things off shelves. I saw a mom once who was immersed in shopping and talking on the phone that she didn't notice when her little boy (about 5) was standing up in the basket and then fell out and hit his head. We had to call the paramedics, and she was upset with US! I was just baffled.
Me and DH sat down and had a long discussion when we found out about LO and we agree that while (of course) we don't believe in beatings....discipline and consequences, and even the occasional swat on the behind go a long way to have well behaved children.
Oh this is a big topic. I definatly believe that at 5 or 6yrs of age..a child shouls be able to sit still, and not run around and cause havoc. But for parents that have a 2-3yr old (like myself) it can be sooooo difficult. I'm a very attentive parent...and don't let my son get away with crap...and certainly wouldn't let him run around ina dr's office...but for those people who are expecting their first child...its not as easy as you think. Its A LOT of hard work to teach your child, and find a balance between discipline and love. I grew up in a very strict home...and before I had kids...I would see a 2 year old have a tantrum in the mall and think "I would never let my kid get away with that"...lol. That flew out the window when my son hit his toddler phase. And its always in public that he challenges me...doesn't mean I ignore it though. But its hard and can be super embarassing. It just is what it is. Its a phase..as long as you deal with it and not ignore the behaviour. The mom in the dr's office should have told her son to sit down...and behave or to expect consequences.
as a soon-to-be mommy.. I know that they get to an age where they throw tantrums no matter what, haha.. but there are situations where it's just down right ridiculous! I don't have first hand experience, but I do have experience with my sister.. who is mildly autistic.. which is much more of a challenge than a "normal" child -- so, I don't know.. I try not to judge because I've never raised a child myself.. but, there's a difference between at least TRYING to control your child and just totally ignoring it and being inconsiderate of others.
Damn straight. You do not ever need to hit your kids if you start off with proper discipline from the get-go.
I am a very big fan of a combination of Parenting With Love & Logic, and 1-2-3 Magic ("counting"). It sounds like baloney, but it's not. Having a well-behaved child doesn't happen by accident. It comes from solid consistency.
My friend's daughter is going to be 11 this fall. She has never once acted up in public. 99% of the time, she is good as gold. Agreeable, never argues, and if she has an issue with a decision, she will debate it with logic as opposed to whine. She is not a grade A student, but what matters is she actually tries and gives effort. She doesn't give up with an "I can't do this." And all of this, why? Because her parents treated her with respect, expected and accepted only positivity from her. They enforced their rules and didn't give in because they were tired or "didn't want to hear it." Bed time was the same every night. The same ritual. Consistency. There were no random late-night trips to the store because Mom needed something. She was their priority, but also worked with their lives, not against them. Things that were expected of her were explained, as was what was not allowed. They didn't scream at her. Respect goes both ways.
I absolutely will not tolerate Jake ever acting up in public. He will have a quick explanation, a warning, and then will be taken back to the car or back home. I don't care if I spent money to be wherever we are. You act up, your privileges vanish. I don't plan on striking him, as I intend on nipping things in the bud before they become a problem.
I'm going to be a fun mom. I've worked with kids most of my life. I love kids' activities, and know how to make just about anything into something fun for a child.
But I will be stern. He will learn the line very quickly. And he will learn that there are direct consequences for misbehavior.
Totally agrees with jenmcn...
It is very different once u have children, again I am not saying she wa right to ignore the behaviour, action shoud be taken, especially at 5 years old. Quiter behaviour, not nessecarily sitting down entirely.... Some 5 year olds are incapable of doing this!!
Discipline is very subjective to each person. I am a lot stricter with Tobi than any of my friends with ther LO's, because he is much more into everything and 'spirited' then their's. I will deal with inappropriate behaviour when we re out, and I get looks for using discipline when we are out... You can't win as a parent!!
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