Hello ladies.. This is my first official thread in 3rd trimester. I won’t technically be there until Monday but this question seemed more fitting for this forum.

What are all you working moms doing for daycare?

I had originally planned to take my baby to a daycare facility. I’m on the waiting list for the 2 closest to my home. Both affiliated with churches. I have had major anxiety about this because I’m not sure there will be a spot.. and sending my baby to daycare breaks my heart. I work 3 12 hour shifts a week that include every other weekend. My husband will be the one responsible for taking and picking baby up. he works 8-4. We will only need daycare 2 days a week. As the other days I work are on weekends. NO daycares in my area offer part time.

Well then.... tonight..... I went to my husband’s aunt’s house. She gave me some baby clothes and diapers that she had left over from her little boy. She told me that her sister could keep the baby. That they had talked about it and she would be willing to come to my house. She (my OH’s aunt) is older, never married, never had any kids. She has experience with children. She works in the nursery at church and kept my OH’s cousin a lot when he was a baby. She loves children. I never even thought about her being a possibility because she lives 30 minutes away. BUT I never thought about her coming to my house....

Does this sound to good to be true? We would pay her of course. Not too sure how much we should pay her. But we will work something out. She would come to our house 2 days a week. Get there in the morning before my husband leaves for work and leave when he gets home. Now she is some what disabled (she has bad knees). So when baby gets older and more mobile we might have to look for other options. But for the first year this seem perfect... What do you girls think?? Any ideas on pay?

One downside is that while at my house she will have to look after the dog. My husband will take the younger big dog to work with him (he works on a farm). But the other dog is 12 years old. Requires minimal work. Just may have to go out for a pee 2-3 times. Usually we kennel her but she will bark nonstop if she is in the kennel and someone is home... Is this too much to ask?



Sorry for the LONG post

I say bite her hand off!!! Lol, it makes sense and from your description sounds like she would benefit from this too. Definitely worth trying at any rate, I guess if you are in the States you don't get long before you have to go back to work? This must be really hard as not only do you have to leave LO so soon but don't get the chance to 'try out' daycare before going back to work (we are very privileged in the UK and are entitled to up to a year off work!) so you need to be really comfortable with your plan... what does you gut tell you? Go with that maternal instinct!

I agree with Ruby!!! It seems as though this aunt is keen to do it and I am sure it will be great for her and she would really enjoy it too. As for payment, I would discuss this with her, clearly she is doing it to help you guys out, so she wont be asking for a massive amount, maybe enough to cover her travel to and from and to compensate her for some of the time she is spending there. Because she is doing it at your house, it will be your utilities and the baby food/nappies etc that you have already bought that will be used, so there are no extra costs there.

OH and I both work full time, 5 days a week, me 38 hours, OH 52 hours. Before even beginning to TTC I casually discussed this with my mum and she made it clear that if either me or my sister were to have a baby, she and my dad would be more than happy to mind the baby. I am in the UK so I am very fortunate in that I have 9 months leave before having to go back to work, so mum and dad will only have baby from that point and, fingers crossed, they will get into nursery at 3.

Childcare is such a massive drain on resources that had this option not been available to us, I just am not sure if we would have been able to have a baby, at this point in our lives anyway. I have discussed money with my mum, but she wouldnt hear tell of it. She asked what I was paying her for, to spend time with her grand child, when I mentioned the likes of nappies and food etc, she just brushed it off and said that she could get that sort of stuff when she was getting her own shopping and there was no need to pay her. I am obviously over the moon with this, but I will make sure I look after them well, without actually handing any money over.

Ok, I rambled there. You asked a question, this is my opinion. Kindly accept this offer. Explain how grateful you are and make it clear that if at any point she finds it isnt suiting her or she has any concerns, that she can discuss them with you openly, and then you can do the same. Explain to her that her offer will be saving you both a lot of money and therefore, you would like to be able to pay her for her time and travel but that you arent sure of a figure. I think it is an excellent offer and I would def take it.

Wow! 9 months to a year off? How wonderful. We get paid for 6 weeks but can take 12 weeks. It is not nearly enough time in my opinion. Thanks for the advice girls. I feel good about it. Just hope it works out! Seems too good to be true!

My concern would be the bad knee. What does it do? I have a knee that will be looked at after baby is born. Does it randomly give out? (mine does). How much will she be caring your baby? Mine gave out on me...not carrying anything. I don't want to sound like I'm putting a damper, but if her knee randomly gives out or locks up, then you might want to think about it.

My mom has knee problems too and she actually fell carrying a 3 month old. No warning. If she fell "right", then the baby would have had serious problems but she twisted and the baby landed on her chest and was fine.

Again, if her knee doesn't randomly give out or she has it "controlled" (mine is in an immobilizer) then that would be ok.

We can't really on in laws full time as they both still work part time, and I think it will be too much dealing with them all the time, don't want anything to affect our relationship.

When we move down to London, we will be getting an aupair. She will look after LO in the morning/afternoon and the other half of the day LO will go to nursery. Cheapest way for us and we were quoted £60 a day for the nursery that would be local to us.

This way we will be spending £275 a week on childcare which will cover every hour we are working, plus housework and 2 nights babysitting. If he went in nursery full time it would be £300 a week then if we wanting babysitting it would be extra and if I found I still wasn't coping with housework, even more for a cleaner. And seeing as both charge £8h (roughly) in London- you can see how much money we are going To save

I don't know what childcare costs are like in the states, but this give you an idea.

I think you have legitimate concerns! I have thought of this. I’m not really sure how bad her knees are. She has had bilateral knee replacements and she wasn’t very proactive with rehab following. She lives a VERY sedentary lifestyle. She always has. She doesn’t exercise at all. I don’t think she ever has. She is on disability through the state because she wasn’t able to find a job. With only a high school education and her debility there wasn’t much she could do. She isn’t a fast mover.... so when baby gets to where he is walking and such we will have to find other options. She is very good at cuddling and holding babies. Feeding them ect.... My husband and I are going to have to go meet with her and talk to her about all of these things. Because she would have to look after our 12 yr old dog too.. Just because she will be there...

Babyfenway.....
Sounds like childcare is quite expensive over there. It is expensive here as well.

Oh how I wish my mom was retired. She would keep him for free everyday if she could. But unfortunately she still has to work full time. My OH’s mom lives out of state. His step mother just lost her job because she missed to many days of work for chronic migraines. She would be perfect because she is fabulous with kids but she is unreliable and unpredictable as to when she will have a migraine or not.....

OH’s stepmom will hopefully be able to watch baby when I have doctor appointments or meetings at work.... I think she would be happy to do that. But she couldn’t make a commitment due to her unpredictable migraines...

When my son was 8 months old, we had him in a big center and they more than crossed the line with us on a lot of occasions.

My DH is the only one that drives and he works in a different city. So on his late night, I would leave my job at 3pm using a city bus to go pick my son up from the center and go home. Took about 3 hours...miserable. I used his carrier at first as I thought it would be safer. Then the bus driver told me I had to take him out and hold him. When I transferred to the next bus, I confronted that bus driver and asked him why she told me this. Another lady said "oh, I have to know this!" He tried to convince me that it was "safer" for LO to be in my arms to which I argued him down and said "well, if you slam on your brakes, his head will go into this metal pole...that's not safer"...he finally confessed that if he was in a carrier that he was allowed ot occupy a seat and they couldn't charge for that seat...gee thanks.

I then started using a carrier that strapped to me. A wearer. I would pick him up and constantly get asked "are you driving with him like that?" I would repeatedly tell them no I wasn't that I can't drive and that I take him on the city bus. One day, they confronted my DH about the way I was transporting our son!! He again told them that I didn't drive.

The following week when I went to pick him up, I slammed my ID on the table facedown and pointed at it and said "Do you see where it says 'not for vehicle operation'" and she just nodded so I then looked at her and said "stop harassing me and my family!" took my child and stormed off.

The breaking point was when they called us about 4pm saying our son had a fever and we needed to come and get him. We got there, their INFANTS room was like 80 degrees and they had him dressed in long sleeves and wool socks (that weren't his!).

I had been looking for a change for a while and had interviewed about 3 in home daycares and came across the lady that is now keeping him. She runs a 24/7 facility out of her home and charges us 100/wk. At the end of may, she will have kept him for two years. I can honestly say I have never had anything bad to say about her! She will be looking after him most likely while I'm in labor and she will be taking my daughter in sept. She has become a friend of our family and a true God send.

Sorry, that got long but these huge centers now concern me a bit with how they did my son. I wonder if you can find an in home daycare?

I would go for it and with the knee thing i think she would tell u if shes avin problems ive severely visually impaired and i av 2 kids that i look after all day

i say go for it! knees and all! there's mums out there with amputations or are blind/severely disabled who manage just fine!