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Old Dec 11th, 2013, 16:46 PM   1
sunnylove
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How were your NICU nurses, honestly?


I feel like I'm in the minority when I say that I wasn't crazy about our NICU nurses. Though I did love the nurse practitioners and the doctors were great, too. I feel like every NICU parent dotes on their nurses like they were sent from heaven and I did not have that kind of experience.

To start with, my son NEVER had a primary nurse. He filtered through nurse after nurse after nurse. He'd have a nurse I LOVED for a day or two and then I wouldn't see her for 4 weeks. And let me tell you, if you get a nurse that you don't like, it just makes the whole experience so much worse.

There was this one older NICU nurse that I could not stand. She would cough around my son, drop things on the ground and put them back in his incubator without sanitizing them, and she was just clumsy. She was rude too. When LO was first put in NICU I didn't change his diaper for a couple weeks (I don't know why, I just didn't). One day she asked me if I wanted to change him and I told her no, she could just do it. She barked at me, "Do you not know how to change a diaper?? It's not that hard. The reason you're here is so you can learn how to do things like this." Then step-by-step she "showed" me how to change a diaper and then told me "It's not that hard." I was appalled. To start with, I have changed possibly hundreds of diapers. And secondly, I AM NOT HERE SO I CAN LEARN HOW TO CHANGE A DIAPER. I'm here because my son is in the freaking NICU you old hag!!!!!!

There was another nurse that I swear I almost slapped. She was so strict about LO's feeding and she would flip her lid if he was like 1 minute past the time he was supposed to eat. At first, if LO didn't wake up for a feeding, they would tube feed him. And she would NOT wait. She wouldn't even give him a chance. If it was time to eat and he wasn't awake, boom, tube fed. Once I was trying to get him to wake up so I could breastfeed him, and she said she was going to get the tube. I told her "No, I am going to try to breastfeed him." She said "It's past the time he needs to eat" (it was literally 5 minutes after) and I said, "It'll be fine." She left and came back 2 minutes later with the tube. I was so mad I almost smacked her. And she pulled that multiple times.

Those are just two examples, I have SO many more. I requested to not get certain nurses, and I also talked with the NICU manager about the issues I felt our NICU had. (Like having a random float nurse taking care of my son and thinking his monitor was wonky every time he desatted. Once an actual NICU nurse got him next shift, she had to put him back on oxygen because the float nurse had NO idea what she was doing!!!)

Do you ladies have any stories like this?



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Old Dec 11th, 2013, 17:18 PM   2
Lucy529
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I've only been in the NICU with my son for a few days but there are nurses that make you feel useless or like your not doing something right there's been just a few nurses that have been great and made me feel good or at least ok but some really get to me and make me cry



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2013, 20:36 PM   3
Jes.shortcake
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We had a couple NICU nurses we didn't care for. One seemed to always have an attitude..and of course us NICU parents are not in the mood for the attitude. When we got switched to the Progressive nursery we had another one we didn't like. She acted like we didn't know what we were doing. This one incident really ticked me off. I had come earlier in the day before shift change but some days my husband couldn't make it there until late and sometimes he couldn't stay long because he was working 2 full time jobs and going to school. But even it was just for a few minutes, or even if it was late my husband made sure to at least see his face everyday. Anyway..the 2nd night we saw her it was late and we didn't stay long because he had to get up for work at 4 am. On the way out she stopped us and was asking if we've ever changed him, gave him a bath, temp, etc. We were like..yeah..ever since they let us. He had been in the NICU about 9 weeks at this point. And she was saying how she was just concerned about us not doing those things and when it's time for him to be discharged we wouldn't be ready. Just because you work Tuesday nights and that happens to be my husbands busiest day so you don't see us long on your shift, doesn't mean we don't come in whenever possible and do his hands on care. In fact I know it was in his file that "parents are very involved in care". She treated us like a couple of dumb teenagers.



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Old Dec 11th, 2013, 21:17 PM   4
Lucy529
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Jes I try to be there for most of his cares now that am discharged I'll def spend more time there my hubby can't come bc we live over an hour away and he had to go back to work, but your right there's one nurse that really makes me feel as tho I'm in her way when I'm doing his cares which bothers me bc I am new at this but heck at least I'm trying. But there's one that made a comment about how some women spend all their time there, it made me feel bad bc I didn't get to see him right away I saw him almost 24 hrs after birth and I feel like I missed out on things but def want to make up for it, I ignored her comment tho I cried to my hubby about it



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2013, 23:17 PM   5
MommyGrim
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We had one nurse who was EXTREMELY insistent that I leave. I mean, there were others who showed GENUINE concern for my well-being (telling me to go and get some sleep or go eat something) but she just said that I needed to go and rest because "I'd miss having someone take care of them for me." Sorry, but I'd rather have them up all night, every night screaming both of their heads off at home than even ONE more night in the NICU with someone else taking care of them.

There was another who was generally really nice but one of the days she started to chastise me for touching my son! She actually scolded me for touching him because 'he's a preemie and if I touch him too much he's going to get overstimulated and he'll not eat" etc. He was sound asleep and not moving an inch! If he would have started to stir AT ALL I would have stepped back! I was having a horrible day and I needed some comfort and I got scolded for it. Luckily, the next few times she was there we didn't have any more problems so I think she was just having a bad day. (Obviously that doesn't excuse the behavior since having your child in the NICU is hard enough, but having one of the people taking care of them be rude to you makes it that much worse.)



 
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Old Dec 12th, 2013, 07:51 AM   6
Lucy529
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I wish they would all get on the same page there's some like yesterday she was there helping me but allowing me to do most of his care on my own she got his bottle ready and I feed while she went on about her day
She would just come by and ask if I was ok or needed anything, really liked her. The guy that came for the night shift was nice too
But then there's one that as soon as he's done feeding she says ok lets out him back I hate it bc he loves to cuddle and I'm there so why not especially when I'm told I can hold for as long as I want yeah I know he does need rest I do too which I do as well but holding him for a few minutes after his bottle won't hurt him.



 
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Old Dec 12th, 2013, 09:11 AM   7
MummyMana
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We weren't in the nicu very long and most the staff were lovely but one woman was so rude! Imogen had problems feeding, one of the main reasons we were in hospital. This woman comes in, looks at the feeding chart and says "you can feed her more than that you know". I say "I know, she won't take anymore though" she replies with "have you tried burping her?" Seriously. I may have not slept for a week, been living off icecream and going mad, but I'm not that stupid! What does she take me for? I can remember burping my dollies when I was 4.



 
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Old Dec 12th, 2013, 12:59 PM   8
Srrme
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My husband and I did not like many of the Nurses our 28.6 weeker had. We even requested a couple of them not tend to him anymore. On numerous occasions they would leave trash in his incubator (sharp pieces of plastic, paper, etc.). A few of them were far too rough with him, and one even got MAD at him because she couldn't properly put his nasal cannula back in because he was moving a bit (he was only about 2 weeks old and still TINY).

When he was discharged, I noticed a band-aid on his back that was covering a scar. The scar was HUGE, and he probably got it from one of the pieces of plastic left in his incubator! He is 3 now and the scar is still big enough to see.



 
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Old Dec 12th, 2013, 19:26 PM   9
Jes.shortcake
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy529 View Post
But then there's one that as soon as he's done feeding she says ok lets out him back I hate it bc he loves to cuddle and I'm there so why not especially when I'm told I can hold for as long as I want yeah I know he does need rest I do too which I do as well but holding him for a few minutes after his bottle won't hurt him.
We had a similar incident with the nurse with attitude. Silas has reflux so we were told to hold him up right for a while after a feeding. One night after I finished giving him his bottle the nurse immediately came over and said we had to put him back. My husband told her no...and they went back and forth for a minute. She finally got mad and stormed off. We were going to request that she not be assigned to our son anymore. But the next day he was transferred to the Progressive nursery.


I also had some nurses make me feel bad when I stopped pumping. I pumped every day, every 3 hours for 8 weeks. And I just couldn't build up my supply. Then it got to the point where I couldn't produce anything! Some of the nurses were nice and helpful with their tips. And believe me..I tried everything. My body just wouldn't do it and me and my husband decided I would stop when I returned to work. Some nurses were understanding bc they saw me struggling to produce milk but a couple made me feel guilty about it. As if I didnt feel guilty enough having my body give up on me when I got HELLP Syndrome and had to deliver him early, and then feeling guilty that I couldn't produce the milk he needed bc I know breast milk is best...so I didn't appreciate the lectures about how much he'd benefit from my breast milk. I already know that..hence why I felt so much guilt..



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Old Dec 13th, 2013, 01:49 AM   10
Lucy529
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Jes yes some make you feel crappy I hate it when you finally get one you like they're switched

I had thought I wouldn't be able to bf and kept being told how much he needed it which I already knew but turns out I can I hope I make enough for him bc I know it's best



 
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