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bubbles82 Dec 6th, 2012 05:24 AM

New thread for recent losses TTC before the would have been due date...join me! :) xx
Hi ladies...

I recently suffered an early loss, not sure how far I was due to crazy cycles beforehand, but I tested positive after a late AF at 16dpo, but at 20dpo I started getting bad cramps and bleeding heavily. So I think I was around 5 weeks.

I am finding it tough to deal with, but trying to stay positive and trying to take small comfort from at least now knowing I can get pregnant which I didn't know before after 6 months TTC and nothing, and that if it had to happen it happened early which should mean I can get back to normal cycles quicker, although of course it still breaks my heart that all this has happened.

I know some people advise to wait a while before TTC, to give yourself chance to heal properly and have a normal cycle, but I don't feel like I have time to waste now I'm nearly 31 and don't know how many more losses I have to go through before my forever baby. I also don't want to wait for a full natural cycle when I have no idea how long that could be, so I'm going to TTC again straight away and hope I ovulate within the next few weeks. I personally think I need to focus on TTC again to help heal the hurt of the loss.

Anyway, now I've lost my Christmas BFP, I thought I'd set myself a new milestone to focus on, in achieving my next BFP before the would've been due date, which I believe was end of July/beginning of August next year. I saw there is already a thread for this, but it was started some time ago, and it seems to now be full of ladies who got their BFP and are expecting their babies in the next few weeks or months. So happy for them all, but thought a new thread was required for recent losses hoping to have some much needed luck and catch our rainbows!

Who's with me?!

tinyfootsteps Dec 6th, 2012 05:39 AM

Hi Bubbles,

Firstly, sorry for your loss.

I've also recently had an early M/C at 7 weeks. I thought I was coping well with it (as well as you could expect under the circumstances anyway) but this morning I had to ring up and cancel my booking-in appointment and first scan (which would've been on Christmas eve). When the lady on the phone asked for a reason for the cancellations I told her I had a M/C and burst out crying. It was much harder than I thought it would be. My other half now wants to wait (until an undecided time) to try again. I don't really want to wait but I guess there is some sense in it especially if I'm not coping emotionally.

My due date would have been the 9th July 2013. So it would be nice to aim to have a BFP by then. :winkwink:

All the best xx

bubbles82 Dec 6th, 2012 07:54 AM

Hi chick,

Really sorry for your loss too, I can imagine how hard it was having to cancel those appointments. Fortunately I didn't even get that far, in a way it's like I expected a loss and I didn't even bother making a doctors appointment when I started getting positive tests.

Hope you start to feel better soon, it probably is best to wait to TTC again until you feel fully ready, it's such a personal choice, I just feel like it's best for me to keep focusing on the future to get me through the difficult times now, I have to stay positive that I will get my sticky bean soon, and it feels like the sooner I get back to it, the sooner that day will be. I know that may sound strange but it's different for everyone I guess.

Some days I think I'm totally fine about it then it suddenly hits me when I'm not expecting it, and I suddenly cry a lot and feel physically heartbroken, then I wonder if that's silly when my loss was so early, but a loss is a loss and you still imagine that baby and love it as soon as you see those two lines, I think I grieve for our dreams that have been so suddenly snatched away as much as the little person we lost.

tinyfootsteps Dec 6th, 2012 11:47 AM

You're right, every individual feels differently about when to start TTC again after a M/C. I can totally understand why'd you want to hurry up and get back on the horse (erm, so to speak) and I hope it's not too long before you get your sticky bean. :flower:

Feeling heartbroken is definitely not silly, no matter how early your loss was. Like you say, the moment you see those two little lines your whole world changes as does your outlook on life.

It was only a week between finding out I was pregnant and losing the baby but in that short time we'd got so excited - thinking about family holidays, our first Christmas as a threesome, baby names etc. etc. I could go on....

So, it is crushing - never feel silly for feeling that way. :winkwink:

The fact you care so much shows that you're gonna be a great mum one day.

I've got everything crossed for you. x

AZBabyDust Dec 6th, 2012 11:56 AM

Hey Bubbles, I am with you!! So sorry for your loss, they are so tough to go through especially before the holidays! :hugs: I also don't want to wait a full natural cycle to TTC again. In my opinion it could take 2 months for my cycle to come back and frankly I am too impatient LOL :haha: I'm not sure I'll use OPK's because I would have no clue when to start using them but once I finish bleeding I will definitely be jumping my SO's bones!

I was due in July and I'm hoping to have a BFP before then!

Sticky baby dust to all of us girls!!


bubbles82 Dec 6th, 2012 12:28 PM

Thanks girls, it means a lot to have support from those who actually know what it's like to go through this.
I wish noone had to though.
I don't want to get myself all stressed out over OPKs when I know it could take weeks to see a positive now, and I never saw a positive my BFP cycle when I was using OPKs every day two or three times, but obviously I did ovulate! Will probably give them a try at some point but will hopefully be able to rely on EWCM first!
Good luck to you both, I really hope all our sticky beans are just around the corner.

AZBabyDust Dec 6th, 2012 12:41 PM

Yeah OPK's really helped me and were spot on and temping confirmed that they were accurate. But after a m/c I have no idea if they will be reliable, especially since I don't think my HCG is down to zero yet. Ugh! So frustrating! I'm still going to BD as much as my SO will allow until I confirm O this month LOL. That is why i LOVE charting!

bubbles82 Dec 6th, 2012 12:49 PM

I'm a big fan of charting too, really helps make sense since my cycles went crazy! I was going to have a break from temping but I miss it and I don't want gaps in my chart when they might help me figure out O!

AZBabyDust Dec 6th, 2012 13:03 PM

LOL that's exactly what I was thinking! At first I was like, no I won't chart until I'm done bleeding and my HCG is down to 0. Then I was like, I HAVE TO CHART! What if I O and BD around that time and didn't know and caught the egg?! :haha: I might be addicted to charting and I am a POAS addict! But I feel that women who go through all these measures to track their cycles and ovulation are more aware of themselves and whether something feels right or not. Knowing when you O'd gives you a better idea of your likelihood of pregnancy and when you could expect a reliable test! Thumbs up for charting :thumbup:

bubbles82 Dec 6th, 2012 13:11 PM

Definitely! I only decided to have a break as I hate the 5am alarm, but I'm so used to it I've been waking up around then anyway!

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