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Glitterdiva May 5th, 2013 12:19 PM

Am I being a cow?
Can I check something? My mil is booking her flights to come sty from the USA for when baby is born. I'm horrified as I really wanted to keep people at bay until I'd got us into a routine etc etc.....
What do I do?? DH is going to tell her shell have to stay with friends as I really don't want guests
Thanks xxx

kirstybumx3 May 5th, 2013 12:23 PM

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, I think its irresponsible and selfish of people to think its ok actually to just come around all the time straight after a woman has given birth... especially another woman who should KNOW what its like! urgh! MILs huh? :haha: x

ArcaneSpark May 5th, 2013 12:23 PM

I think your within your rights to ask for no house guests and pre-arranged visits as you will be trying to establish a routine, bond convaless and possibly master BF! Safeguard your time, you will only ever have this time once, they grow so fast!!

kimmym May 5th, 2013 12:33 PM

My MIL is doing the same from mexico! I havent even met her yet! So i'm really hoping she waits until we've settled some more.
i dont think its an unreasonable request at all.

J.D. May 5th, 2013 12:50 PM

I think you're dead right, and I'm glad it's not just me. This is our first baby, and my mom said "I want to be there as soon as my first grand baby is born."

Honestly? I wouldn't mind too much if it was my mom. She'd sit with a book most of the time, cook and clean for us, but my father is like an infant himself. He's demanding, petulant, diabetic (so needs special care all the time and won't do it for himself). I'd kill him.

I'm trying to float the idea of "wouldn't it be so much nicer if you guys spent our first Xmas with us as a family?" and that would give me and my wife a chance to get into a proper routine and know what we're doing before dealing with houseguests.

I don't want to make them stay in a hotel or anything, because that's huge money.

PS: sorry, I'm posting a bit early for 2nd trimester but I've been reading in here more and more!

NewAtThis13 May 5th, 2013 13:03 PM

Nope with my own parents I am going to say no one for the first week-which is very reasonable. Not saying we don't want visitors who come for an hour or so, but my parents would be staying with us! I couldn't handle it the first week! Your fine :)

Ivory Doll May 5th, 2013 13:11 PM

I agree completely! My MIL, FIL, SIL and partner and probably god damn dog have booked flights for around my due date.

I know this is her/their first grandchild/niece/nephew BUT I'm planning on breastfeeding and I'm really determined to do it therefore I don't need a room full of people constantly there while I'm trying to feed my baby and worry about exposing myself lol!! :dohh:

Glitterdiva May 5th, 2013 13:39 PM

Thanks guys, she's booked them :( just hoping I hold out till she's gone or pop it out early!!!!

ForeverAutumn May 5th, 2013 14:40 PM

At least when she goes home you'll have your peace. My mum wasnt as fortunate. Her mother in law (my nan) only lived a 10 minute drive from our house so was round ALL the time, meddling, criticizing, tidying up and making a fuss of the breastfeeding.

When I was born, I was bottle fed- unlike my sister. When i asked my mum why said she said couldnt stand the embarrassment of the family 'audience' every time she needed to feed.

Pop on amazon or something and find a nice braestfeeding shawl so if MIL is hanging round liek a bad smell at least you can be discreet when you feed

angelandbump May 5th, 2013 14:46 PM

Getting a baby into a routine takes time. I personally preferred my MIL to come visit for 2 days in the 1st week but set rules like do not lift or cuddle a sleeping baby and not to question my parenting. If I need advice I will ask for it and my MIL was a chef so she was on cooking duties. She was actually a massive help and made up meals for a month and froze them.

I understand you want to bond with your baby and its not selfish to want that time but since she's coming, I would seriously make the most of it.
(Obviously this is all IMO :flower:)

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