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HopefulEm Sep 22nd, 2015 10:12 AM

Sharing a wall, planning a homebirth. Do we warn the neighbours?
Hi all. We live in a semi-detached house, and I've decided I really want to have a home birth this go around.

We never hear our neighbours, and I don't know if it's because they're just really quite, not there often, or if the concrete wall is really that sound proof. We don't know them that well either, with just the occasional hello and short introduction.

During my last labour at the birthing centre I did vocalize quite loudly, and I don't know if I'll feel the urge to do the same with this one or not.

So, do we go knocking on their door when I finally get to third tri to give them the heads up? It's quite the uncomfortable topic to bring up especially with strangers. I'm kind of tempted to say wait until I go into labour and only if I'm making a lot of noise have my husband go knock on their door. Then again, maybe not if it's the middle of the night?

Any others currently in or been in a similar situation? What did/will you do?

lesleyann Sep 23rd, 2015 04:51 AM

Just drop it in coversation if you normally talk to them, we warned one side of us but she didn't hear a thing and was shocked to find out the baby had been born already.

tallybee Sep 23rd, 2015 06:25 AM

I agree with pp. I mentioned to next door while in conversation that we were planning hb.. I just made light of it "if you hear anything disturbing apologies in advance ha ha" type thing

MindUtopia Sep 23rd, 2015 08:08 AM

We lived in a semi-detached cottage, though a very old one with very thick stone walls, when we had our daughter. We didn't tell the neighbours....and they were our landlords! We never heard them and the walls were really thick so I didn't think there was really any chance they'd hear me. I planned to labour in the lounge, but actually ended up in the bedroom, both of which are on the opposite freestanding side of the house anyway. I think if you happen to have a conversation with them, you could always just mention that you hope they don't here you when the time comes to have baby! I don't think you necessarily have to explain the whole home birth thing as you could just be in labour at home, and it's a bit less of an awkward conversation that invites comment. But I don't think you really need to tell them if it's never a good time.

HopefulEm Sep 23rd, 2015 09:50 AM

The problem is we basically never talk to them. I might see one of them and go "hi, nice day! Good day to be in the garden." But that's hardly enough of a conversation to bring up childbirth...maybe when I become more obviously pregnant the conversation will go there and I can slip it in.

tallybee Sep 24th, 2015 02:26 AM

Ah I can see why that might be awkward then. It wasn't so bad for me as we talk to next door in passing, they have young kids. I think you're right to leave it til you're obviously looking bigger x

MummyToAmberx Sep 25th, 2015 06:36 AM

I live in a semi and dont feel i need to tell them my birthing plans.
I see it as they dont need to inform me if they have a party.

PugLuvAh Sep 25th, 2015 07:41 AM

I'd say something, not because I think you have to, but because if I heard moaning/yelling coming from my neighbours that I didn't know very well, I would be concerned there was something wrong and might call the police or an ambulance depending on what I heard.

If you don't want to talk in person, maybe write them a card and stick it in their door? I probably wouldn't do it till I was 8 months along or so...Just let them know you are planning a home birth and wanted to warn them it could get noisy based on previous experience. Give them your due date with "apologies" in advance. :)

BunnyN Sep 25th, 2015 08:02 AM

The note is a good idea if you feel the need to say some thing. We share a wall and our neighbours don't know we had a home birth. They are elderly and don't have great hearing though. We chat quite a lot with them but I didn't really feel like anyone who didn't need to know our birth plans. I figured if they were worried the'd knock on the door and OH could just say I was in labour. It is normal to spend the beggining of labour at home even if you are planning a hospital birth.

Misscalais Sep 25th, 2015 19:02 PM

I would tell them.
Im loud in labour lol

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