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candicelayla Oct 14th, 2015 09:31 AM

Just found out I'm pregnant at 14 and scared
 
My boyfriend and I were at a pool party in the beginning of September at a mutual friends. He and I went to a secluded area of beach and had sex a couple of times. I never felt him shoot inside me. We went back to the party like nothing had happened. About a week and a half ago, I noticed my period never came and it usually does and I've noticed my boobs feel sore, I've had headaches off and on, I've been feeling nauseous and also certain smells bring it on, plus I've been really tired. I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive. I'm wondering how often are home pregnancy tests wrong? I really dont want to be pregnant at 14. But I'm willing to accept the concequences. Also, should I go to my regular doctor or the baby doctor to confirm I'm pregnant? How will they test me? Also what will the baby doctor do and when should I start seeing one? Will they tell my parents because I'm scared shitless what they'll do? Thanks.

zmzerbe Oct 14th, 2015 10:02 AM

My advice to you would be to tell your parents asap. Keeping something like this from them can do a lot more harm than good. Your parents will be more knowledgeable of your situation and be able to give you sound advice as to what you should do next. On top of that, I don't believe you can make your own appointments without your parents knowing, so trying to hide that from them I am sure would make your parents angry. There really is no way around telling your parents and the longer you wait, the worse it will be. They will probably be upset, so prepare yourself for that, but like you said, you are willing to accept the consequences and this is one of them. Good luck to you, keep us updated.

zmzerbe Oct 14th, 2015 10:04 AM

When I came home pregnant at 19 (granted I was older than you are) but I was so scared to tell my mom, let alone his parents. I thought my mom would be mad or upset, but she actually really surprised me. Her response was "at least I was able to wait until 40 to be a grandma!" and she cried with me. Then she got excited. I'm not saying this is what will happen with your parents, but you never know, their response could surprise you.

ChiiBaby Oct 14th, 2015 13:13 PM

I got pregnant at 16 hun and my mum wasnt mad at me she just wanted to help me. As soon as i told her we went to the doctors to comfirm it, and then they told us what to do from there.
Good luck hun <3

candicelayla Oct 14th, 2015 17:25 PM

Figured I'd Update you guys. I was sent home from school just after lunch because I was sick. So my mom came to school to get me. We were in the car heading home when I told her like you guys said I needed to do. She was very disappointed in me for making a bad decision :cry:… but she hugged :hugs:me and said she supports me and will do whatever she can to help me. She works the night shift at the hospital as an ER doctor and will get an ob-gyn appointment for me. Now to break the news to my dad, boyfriend and his family.

Another question… when you guys went to the ob-gyn, what did they do in your initial appointment? I know I need to go but am scared? Also what else can I do now that I know to give my baby the best chance?

tinkerbelle93 Oct 14th, 2015 17:33 PM

That's great you've told your mum! I'm glad she's being supportive and hope your dad, boyfriend and his family are the same.

My first medical appointment was at 8 weeks pregnant, I had to go through a form about myself and the dad's family medical history and my situation and lifestyle ect. I also remember having to give a urine sample.

In terms of what you can do.. start taking folic acid daily as well as a prenatal multi vitamin, and obviously cut out smoking and alcohol intake if that applies to you. Hope you have a healthy and happy 9 months :flow: x

ChiiBaby Oct 14th, 2015 20:09 PM

As Tink said. They just talk to you about any health risks in your family to make sure the baby is safe and you. They just want general info about you and your boyfriends family. Try not to scared hun <3 Good luck and keep us posted! <3

candicelayla Oct 14th, 2015 23:27 PM

Another update. I had a chance to talk too my dad. I told him the same thing I said to mom. He got upset with me and expressed his disappointment. He even said he needed to think about it. He came to my room a couples of hours later after I was crying:cry:because of my asshole boyfriend (I'll get to that later in the post). He comes to my room with flowers and chocolate. He hugged:hugs:me and said hes proud of me and will do what he can.

Now for the bad part. I was talking to my boyfriend over the phone and told him he was a daddy and that I was pregnant. He went off on me over the phone calling me a slut and a whore and how I couldn't keep my legs closed. He accused me of cheating on him saying that his friends told him that I had sex with all of them. I couldnt take it and I started sobbing:cry:.I let him have it telling him be was the only guy I had EVER had sex with. :growlmad:I don't know what I should do… what do you guys think?

skyesmom Oct 15th, 2015 03:25 AM

first, kudos to you for telling your parents immediately, and kudos to them for being so supportive from the first moment on :flower:

second: you boyfriend is scared shitless, just like you are. his reaction is completely fear-driven, impulsive and irrational. also telling such a news over the phone probably allowed him to rage out even more. it is harder to blow up like that when you have a person there face to face with you (and maybe at your place with your parents around... i think he wouldn't have allowed himself that).

third: there is a very good chance that he will come around and apologize, when the initial shock and denial passes - the thing of accusing you of sleeping with his friends is basically it - denial - as he is not capable of accepting the overwhelming responsibility of having a baby at 14-15 PLUS the responsibility of having done this to you (i assume he's around the same age as you). his first reaction sucks, but he's not an adult like your parents are, he doesn't have their maturity and emotional stability, so stupid words like this one can fly out easily. but none of it will make either you or your baby disappear from his life. give him some time, he's in this with you for a lifetime.

zmzerbe Oct 15th, 2015 09:30 AM

I don't want to sound harsh, but you're having a baby and I think at this point you will need to grow up fast enough to hear this.

Your boyfriend may or may not stay your boyfriend for much longer. His parents will also probably be in denial, and in some cases may even have their son completely ignore you until they are sure that it's his baby. Unfortunately, he can also decide that he wants nothing to do with the baby and sign away parental rights leaving you to your own.

When I was 16 I went through some medical treatment with a birth control making me very sick and I didn't get my period for a while. I was too scared to get a pregnancy test, but I was almost sure I was pregnant. I confided in my boyfriend what was happening and he was scared. Later that night I got an e-mail from his dad telling me that what we did was not smart and that he would cover all of the charges for an abortion. Long story short, I wasn't pregnant and our parents wanted our relationship to end. But the e-mail from his dad was heartbreaking. He would have rather me have an abortion than ruin his son's life.

You might get some of this from his parents. I just want to let you know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. :hugs: I am glad you took my advice and told your parents immediately. That was a very grown up and mature thing to do, and like I said, Their reactions aren't as bad as you can cook up in your head sometimes.


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