** WTT after a loss ** Hey ladies. I was just recently pregnant, but I went to my 15 week OBGYN appointment on 1/19/2012 and was told that my baby did not have a heartbeat. I was 14w6d. Having a missed m/c is totally devastating because I had no idea anything was wrong. There was no heartbeat on the doppler, and two ultrasounds confirmed that the baby had passed. :cry: I ended up getting a D&E on 1/20/2012 a day later, but almost died on on the OR bleeding out over 1.5 liters of blood on the OR table, and needed 5 blood transfusions, and of course being admitted into the hospital. Last weekend was just nightmare after nightmare after nightmare. My OBGYN (who, I will be firing after my Feb 16 check-up appointment) didn't want me to cremate my child for some reason. I had to fight and cry and beg to let the hospital release my baby, and now my baby will be getting cremated tonight or tomorrow. Devastation doesn't even cover what I feel right now. However, I am a very talkative person, and for me to heal - I HAVE to talk about my feelings. So, normally I know this would be way too soon for anyone to think about, or care about but honestly, "planning" helps me heal. I was going to start massage therapy school part-time a few months after baby was going to be born (EDD: July 13, 2012) but I told DH that I want to start at the next part-time rounds, which is in April. I told him I needed this in order to emotionally get "back on track" and that I feel it would be something I would really enjoy learning and it would make me happy. He is all for it. DH and talked, and he said he isn't ready to TTC for along time, and we both kind of decided together that we will start to TTC after I finish massage therapy school, which is Feb of 2013...even than, I feel like I want to wait until May 2013 because my other three children are all fall babies and for budget reasons - a 4th baby born around Christmas would be hard on my pocket book! (I hope you don't judge me for that). DH said that will give HIM enough time to heal - but wouldn't mind starting this summer, etc... if I wanted to slowly start buying cloth diapers and putting them with all of our other baby stuff that we had (for this baby) for a future baby. Doing that will allow us to give us the time we need as a couple to heal emotionally, and slowly be able to become excited for any future baby. Every couple is different, so I know there are couples who TTC as soon as they get the "OK"/green light from the doctor too. I think that is fine as well! We did decide that come May (enough months to get me feeling "normal" again...) we MIGHT do the "don't prevent/don't try" and if it happens, than it does. However, that is still "up in the air". So, I was just wondering if there was anyone who is now WTT after a loss as well. :shrug: xxx -Ashley. |
Hey hun, im sorry to read your story.... i cannot even begin to image how you feel. I hope us ladies can offer some kinda help. For me i just had a complete molar pregnancy, no baby is involved but i was about 10-11 weeks pregnant when i found out. i too lost lots of blood after my D&C and had to have a tranfusion. My hcg levels didnt drop so i had to have chemo which i finished before xmas. I know my story isnt the same but i thought id offer a shoulder as it still suffered a loss. Im meant to wait a year but we will wait 6 months before ttc so that will take us to june. Sending you hugs xxx |
SO sorry that you had to go through that! losing a baby is horrible on it's own, but with everything else you went through...sheesh. Totally stressful, I'm sure! I'm so so sorry. I just had a D&C on Jan. 13th at 12 weeks pregnant... I was due July 27th. I also had an ectopic last July, so I've had a run of bad luck! It's been 11 days since the d&c and I am still bleeding a little bit. We will be ttc again after I get my first period, though, so I'm just waiting for that to come now. Ugh. I'm glad you started this thread, though!! I'm sure there are many others in this same position, unfortunately. |
Mummy2 - What is making you decide to wait 4 months to ttc? For me, it's just emotional reasons, mostly. I'm just so devastated, and you sound just as much too. PreshFest - I'm sorry about your loss. Have you been cramping, too? You are not waiting long to TTC :) FX & baby dust to you |
I really haven't been cramping since right after the D&C. I feel like I get occasional pain in my cervix, but that's about it. I just wish the bleeding would stop! My doc told me there was no reason to wait any longer than 1 period to start trying again. I didn't think I would feel ready so soon, but I totally do and I'm really excited! I'm also 31, so I kind of feel like I don't have all that much time. My daughter is almost 2, so I don't want to wait too much longer and have them be so far apart in age. Hopefully next time will be my lucky time! |
Yeah, that makes a difference! I am almost 25, my husband is almost 27 and althoughhe doesnt have any biological children, I have three under the age of 7. I think even those who ttc right away still grieve, but sometimes, people like yourself feel with their particular circumstance ttc earlier is better for their family than waiting. Whereas, even though we would live to ttc for a child of our own, we are still young in the reoroductive sense so if we wait a year it really isnt a now or never situation if you know what I mean. Ttc after a loss is such a personal choice and there is no one right or wrong way. |
Because of the chemo and chance of relapse if i fall pregnant again they wont know if its a baby or the mole regrowing. I have a higher chance than normal of having another molar :( I just want another baby so bad it hurts! My boy corban is amazing and since having him i just wanted to do it all again. My due date would have been 29th feb (leap year baby) im sorry your going through this. Really am sending you all hugs as its so hard. xxx |
Because of the chemo and chance of relapse if i fall pregnant again they wont know if its a baby or the mole regrowing. I have a higher chance than normal of having another molar :( I just want another baby so bad it hurts! My boy corban is amazing and since having him i just wanted to do it all again. My due date would have been 29th feb (leap year baby) im sorry your going through this. Really am sending you all hugs as its so hard. xxx |
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My first pregnancy was perfect. Zero complications. My labor and deliver were textbook and I was able to do it without any meds whatsoever. So now having two losses, I just feel like my body is not at all what I thought it was. It needs to get it's act together and get back do doing things properly!!! :wacko: |
Really sorry you had to go through that nightmare. I'm WTT after a loss and i find there isn't really a 'right' place on this website to post, there's TTC after a loss and WTT... I had a mmc November 2010 and found out at 12&1.5 weeks and we just couldn't bring ourselves to TTC. I decided that i would do some studying instead and it was the main thing that helped me heal. Having something i HAD to focus on because it was important forced me to spend less time thinking about the sad stuff. But now, we both want to try again and are ready for the first time, but we can't, I've commited myself to study for the next few years and at the time i never dreamed of being ready so soon but i am, I don't think i could manage to study, work part time and have a baby and i don't want to quit or else it'll all have been a waste of time, also things have gotten in the way which means my study time has been extended, so now i'm soooo frustrated and fed up and sad... :( In the short term i think it's a great idea so good luck! |
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