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-   -   Found out I've had a missed miscarriage (http://babyandbump.momtastic.com/miscarriage-support/883710-found-out-ive-had-missed-miscarriage.html)

Emmy0320 Feb 21st, 2012 23:56 PM

How are you doing? Any progress? I started bleeding and passed tissue about a day after spotting... hope that may help. Keeping my fingers crossed that you can pass things naturally as you desire. Let us know if you need anything and so sorry to have to meet you here on the mc board!

haileysmom Feb 22nd, 2012 19:20 PM

I can totally understand and relate to what everyone has experienced. I was almost 12 weeks when I had some brown spotting/clots. The nurse wasn't too concerned but had me come in for an u/s just to be sure. They informed me their wasn't a heartbeat and the baby only measured 8.5 weeks. I wanted them to do something else or offer to double check. I have a daughter and this was my second pregnancy. I never imagined this could happen to me and was sooo relaxed this time around. I went with the D&C the next day because they said I had more chance of heavy bleeding because I was over 7 weeks pregnant and because my body hadn't really done much yet, and I didn't know how long I could wait. But I was sooo afraid, I also felt I was just "getting rid of my baby" which killed me. I felt no one understood. I swear even my husband can't feel it the way I do. I always felt sad hearing about MC but never imagined the pain it brings. Its been just over 2 weeks, days get easier, but Ijust don't forget. I feel guilty if i'm happy, and if I even think about more. One women shared with me that after having a mc once she did have another she appriceated the one she had more, and felt if she never had her mc she would have never met that child. so she felt in the end it was meant to be. It was encouraging, but still i'm just not there. I know I want to try again, but feel guilty and scared. I don't want to be in fear an entire pregnancy.

So sorry to hear of everyone's pain and losses. Thanks for helping me through this difficult time.

xobabyhopes Feb 22nd, 2012 20:01 PM

this literally brought tears to my eyes, im so sorry for your loss.

i just saw him/her a week before and he/she waved at me and was perfectly fine. so i continued to go about my normal routine. i went to work (i work at a hospital) on 2-16-12 and started having such bad stomach pains that i instantly doubled over and sarted crying. instantly went to the er and waited for my mom and fiance to get there. in a matter of 6 hours i was being told that our baby was still inside me but no heartbeat or fetal movement could be detected, i blacked out for a moment because i couldnt hear anything the dr was telling me i was just crying and i thought they had the worng person. i was only 11 weeks pregnant but it felt like someone was telling me i had just lost my mom.so they sent me home and told me to follow up with my obgyn.

the next day i started having the same pain but 10x worse, i ended up having to be rushed to the er and was taken into surgery maybe 2 hours later for my d&e. everything before and after that is a huge blur. my future MIL tried to cheer me up by taking us out to eat the next day but everywhere i turned i saw a baby and would catch myself staring at them and wondering about my baby.


today i came back to work for the first time and nobody knew i was pregnant outside of my two bosses and secretary.i hav access to my patient chart so i looked at my babys last ultrasound and i realized it passed two days after it had just been waving and kicking at me. after that i felt kind of blah,no mood at all and im always a nice person here at work and i have been trying so hard today to keep that smile on my face but i realize that im still upset not matter how much i accept that fact that my baby is an angel now and god needed her to be with my grandpa and be a guardian angel.

i wish you all the strength in the world as you go through this, you seem very strong and ill have my little angel watch over you :hugs:

Grieving30 Feb 22nd, 2012 21:55 PM

So sad and sorry to read of others' losses, too. :(

Haileysmom, I know exactly what you mean feeling guilty about being happier. This morning I felt a little better, like I could see myself moving on...but then that made me feel guilty. But really feeling better or happy and starting to move forward doesn't mean we didn't want our babies or that we'll ever forget them.

I'm still so annoyed that my coworkers who knew of my loss have not acknowledged it to me at all. I feel like they think it's insignificant.

I'm spotting now...blood after wiping everytime I go to the bathroom and there was a tiny bit on my pad. So I think my body's doing what it should and I'm grateful for that.

too_scared Feb 23rd, 2012 06:25 AM

i don't know how this will seem to you guys but i feel that starting to feel better/happier would make baby happy too. i, personally, believe that my baby would not want me feeling guilty for wanting to move on and be happy and hopefully make another baby. i feel that my baby would want to see me happy. i don't know, maybe that is a weird way to think.

grieving30, i wonder if your co-workers are not mentioning your loss because they don't want to make you upset? i know that when i go back to work i don't want anyone talking to me about this. i know i won't be able to talk about it, i will be too upset. i prefer that they don't mention it at all. i don't think they think it is insignificant. :hugs:

i am glad to hear that your body is starting to do what it should now.

xobabyhopes Feb 23rd, 2012 13:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by too_scared (Post 15724787)
i don't know how this will seem to you guys but i feel that starting to feel better/happier would make baby happy too. i, personally, believe that my baby would not want me feeling guilty for wanting to move on and be happy and hopefully make another baby. i feel that my baby would want to see me happy. i don't know, maybe that is a weird way to think.

grieving30, i wonder if your co-workers are not mentioning your loss because they don't want to make you upset? i know that when i go back to work i don't want anyone talking to me about this. i know i won't be able to talk about it, i will be too upset. i prefer that they don't mention it at all. i don't think they think it is insignificant. :hugs:

i am glad to hear that your body is starting to do what it should now.

I agree with you on baby not wanting you to feel guilty, I had a dream that my baby was up kn heaven with my pappaw and hubbys grandma. they told us not to worry and baby was ok now. it gave me peace somehow.

grieving30- my bosses talked to me about it and of course I cried. I'm significantly younger than both my bosses, I'm almost 21. they did a very nice job of comforting me and for me talking helps get through the pain. but they just let me talk and I feel so relieved, I didn't want to be the avoided awkward girl. I hope they get the courage to ask how you're doing. :hugs:

lisa1979 Feb 23rd, 2012 17:19 PM

hey there am lisa and i am so sorry for ur loss i know what your going through and everything you are feeling its normal i had mc last week with my first iv been going through ivf and it was our 2nd time and i couldnt believe it when i done the test and it said i was pregnant i was over the moon but it wasnt meant to be i started having brown discharge and then some blood i was so scared i didnt want to loose this baby and last wed i lost it i screamed out crying and i just sobbed and sobbed i just wanted to no why me why i did everything by the book like yourself but my pain soon turned to anger and not everyone understands your pain some dont see it as a baby u have lost but just like you i did it was my baby and i would like to tell you it gets easier which am sure it does in time its been a week since i lost my baby and i still just sit and cry i think all we can do is take 1 day at a time and i wud like to be your friend and we can do it together so please get back to me am here once again am so sorry xxx


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