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Old Jul 31st, 2017, 09:07 AM   411
BelleNuit
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Ya I did acupuncture on my second IUI, I think it helped. So I'll give it a go this cycle too.

I'm sorry that ovidrel shot lasted longer than expected. That must have really played with your head. My cycle lasted 29 days last cycle it has NEVER gone that long before. You can imagine all the thoughts going through my head!



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2017, 13:54 PM   412
emilydee87
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I've decided that for me, infertility is worse than a miscarriage. No I take that back. I'm just still in infertility and the miscarriage has passed - the scab isn't ripped off every month. Infertility is a strange grief. To mourn something that doesnt exist, thats a hard thing to explain and a hard thing to process. To have to hope every month is a cruel joke. This pain feels like it will never end. I'm looking into depression symptoms and treatments. I just read an article that said infertility stress is comparable to cancer patients. Seems about right. I hope everyone is handling this better than me at the moment.



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2017, 13:56 PM   413
emilydee87
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Belle your IUI was cancelled??



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2017, 14:54 PM   414
BelleNuit
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Hey Emily, that is something that I have thought about a lot. I do feel like I'm grieving my children, who may never exist, and it's something people just don't understand.

Yes my IUI was cancelled because of a large cyst. I think it's screwing with my hormones because I think I'm having an anovulatory cycle on top of it all (been spotting for 5 days now and it's CD 17). I dunno. We didn't try at all this month, so either way I'm just waiting for AF.



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2017, 08:27 AM   415
WishnandHopn
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Emily, what you said really rings true for me. I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I've have some really dark, hopeless times during my own journey of loss and infertility. Having fertility treatments fail is just salt in the wound. I've found that as time has passed, I've grieved my miscarriage, and a year later I'm mostly ok. I'll never be completely "over it" because I think a small part of my heart will always be broken over the loss of my first pregnancy. The difference with infertility is that it's like a grief that gets deeper and feels more painful and hopeless as time goes one, rather than fading with time. Kind of like what Belle said, it's like grief for losing something you never really had in the first place. You're not alone in feeling like this. I wish none of us had to go through this. What's the next step for you? Will you do another IUI?

Belle, I'm sorry for the cyst and the strange cycle. I hope AF comes for you soon so you can move on!



 
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Old Aug 17th, 2017, 15:32 PM   416
mrsbertrand
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Ladies, I can relate immensely. Em you described it perfectly.

For us it's been almost 4 years, and we've kind of let go of trying and switched our focus to other things (each other, my new business) and I am much happier for it. That doesn't mean t doesn't hit me like a punch in the gut sometimes while at family gatherings. But it does get better, with time. xo




 
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Old Aug 20th, 2017, 01:18 AM   417
Sweetkat
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I have to say that even though I have a DD (and my conception stuggles weren't with my first) my attempts to have a second and the three miscarriages and one chemical i have suffered were the worse experience of my life. Everything revolved round TTC for 9 months (and I did get pregnant 3 times only to miscarry). The last one was awful as it was after 10 weeks and I really thought everything would be ok.

I then was too scared to try for 6 months, then had a chemical, then didn't try for a few months. The thought of another miscarriage was too much.

We had a zillion tests and saw countless doctors. Apart from the fact my OH has very high DNA fragmentation no other reason was found other than bad luck.

My lessons are
- doctors don't know everything
- it can't get any worse so you just have to keep going

Big hugs xxx



 
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Old Aug 20th, 2017, 13:25 PM   418
BelleNuit
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I think both situations (infertility and recurrent miscarriages) are awful in their own way. Miscarriages cause a lot of acute pain while infertility is that slow ache that just gets worse and worse until suddenly you realize its something serious and it comes to a head.



 
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