Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Oct 26th, 2017, 20:40 PM   1381
HollyDaisy
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 12
Belle, I completely understand your anger and pain. We're all going through this pain together and in different ways, so we shouldn't compare our situations or judge one another's situations. Trust me, I understand your anger but try not to stress yourself out. It's not healthy for you or your body, you know? I've miscarried two years ago and been TTC since and both miscarriage and now infertility have been devastating so I understand both sides of road. We just need to support one another. We are all on different paths and we are all hurting in one way or another. I'm praying for you and for some GREAT news soon! Baby vibes your way!



Status: Offline
 
Old Oct 26th, 2017, 20:53 PM   1382
Ask4joy
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,447
Unfortunately my DH got the brunt of my lashing out over the last year and a half. I am finally starting to turn a corner with the success so far with IVF. The optimism I’m starting to feel now is making me see just how angry and depressed I was and how physically and mentally unwell I was as a result of it.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Oct 26th, 2017, 21:11 PM   1383
BelleNuit
Other
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 5,094
I do think having some success takes away some of that pain.

Just to be clear I never said mc wasn't devastating. It is. All I've said is that my SIL complaining on Facebook about her difficult two months was upsetting for me because we've been struggling with this for two years. Two difficult months in no way compares. I would so take on two heart wrenching months and give up the slow defeat that is infertility. I've never seen a positive. There has been no relief for me from all of this. There has been nothing to give me hope along the way. Last month when my period was late, I hoped that it was a chemical because at least that was something. At least that would be progress. At least then I could hope that maybe it could happen again.

I am not comparing myself to anyone on here and 100% I am here to support each and every one of you, even if our journeys don't look the same.

I am simply voicing my frustration over this situation.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Oct 27th, 2017, 02:58 AM   1384
red_head
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 1,025
This is a safe space for everyone.
Hearing that miscarriage breaks up the monotony of infertility is hurtful, and not something I expected to hear here, but I can understand your point of view even if I don’t agree.
I apologise for my reaction - this is an emotive subject and obviously my hormones are raging. I apologise for what I’ve said and upsetting you, and hope we can avoid this subject here in future please and try to be considerate of each other’s opinion.



 
Status: Online
 
Old Oct 27th, 2017, 06:22 AM   1385
Ask4joy
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,447
I agree Red, MC does not make infertility any more comforting or encouraging. Especially when you have repeat losses. Because of my losses I will probably never be able to enjoy a pregnancy until I’m well into my 2nd trimester. None of this stuff is easy. None of us asked for this. And pain, whether physical or emotional is incredibly subjective. I try not to take what anyone says here too personally as I know we are all fighting our own battles and need this space to help us through.

Most likely Belle, you have had losses in the last 2 years. Maybe they never implanted or maybe your hcg never got high enough to detect (you were never one to test early).

Infertility is so deeply and personally painful. It makes me question my whole purpose and worth at times. I’m glad we have each other.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Oct 27th, 2017, 06:47 AM   1386
red_head
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 1,025
Thanks Ask I agree with you completely.

I saw that you’ve chosen to have a girl the first time! That’s so exciting and lovely! I think I would have made the same decision!

I’m finding I’m coping with the clomid much better this month, and not having too many side effects as yet, although they do seem to get worse as the month goes on. I’m already having some pain in my ovaries so hopefully that means some eggs are growing! It does make me feel like a chicken saying that! So weird: who’d have thought we would need to think about this stuff. I remember losing my shit as a teen when I forgot to take a pill, the shame of going to the pharmacy to get the morning after pill, the terror it wouldn’t work! One of my friends had unprotected sex when her period was already late (we had no clue about ovulation times and infertile cm then!) and (and this is awful) I shoplifted a pregnancy test from boots for her! I was about 14, and the alarms went off - I legged it to MacDonald’s where we hid in the loo while she did the test! God if I’d known then how hard this all was!! lol! The fear of getting caught shoplifting, and shoplifting a bloody pregnancy test! My parents would have killed me! Lol! Crazy. I was so naive (and awful!)!



 
Status: Online
 
Old Oct 27th, 2017, 07:10 AM   1387
Ask4joy
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,447
I can relate, Red! I used the morning after pill several times myself in my 20s. I was terrified of an unplanned pregnancy! I hadn’t been on birth control in 10 years until starting IVF (never liked the side effects) and it’s so strange taking it now to help me get pregnant!

Glad you aren’t having too many side effects this month! FX you’ll grow a couple of good eggies!

I’m excited to transfer a girl too (although I haven’t spoken to the embryologist about it yet - going to call today). I already started buying a few things for the nursery. I know I shouldn’t get ahead of myself but they were good sales!



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Oct 27th, 2017, 07:37 AM   1388
red_head
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 1,025
I donít think itís getting ahead of yourself! If thereís one thing this journey is good for, itís preparation!!! Lol! I have a few bits in a draw upstairs (my favourite of which is an iron maiden baby grow! Lol!)
I donít know a lot about IVF - do you transfer one embaby or can you chose to do more than one?



 
Status: Online
 
Old Oct 27th, 2017, 07:38 AM   1389
BelleNuit
Other
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 5,094
Thats fine. I was just expressing how I felt, and it's okay if you feel differently.

But to be clear, everything I say seems to get twisted to be the worst possible version. I never said that MC breaks up the monotomy of infertility. All I said was that I wanted to have hope again. I will post on my journal from now on. It is clear that I won't find support here any longer. I wish you all the best on your journeys.

Goodbye



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Oct 27th, 2017, 08:32 AM   1390
red_head
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 1,025
I'm the only one who took issue, no one else - and I have apologised for this. You've said some nasty things which upset me - your words haven't been twisted, at most they've been paraphrased - you won't apologise or even consider someone else's point of view, so if you want to go, despite everyone else here caring for you, and being nothing but supportive, that's your decision. I did try to move forward.



 
Status: Online
 

SEO by vBSEO