Advice about telling a LTTC friend your pregnant - Page 2

mlyn26 · Aug 25th, 2011, 05:18 AM

I'd prefer to be told beforehand via phone or email. That way she can deal with any emotions before seeing you. TBH i could not imagine her being upset, considering you were a LTTTCer and have had a loss. I imagine she will be thrilled that it's finally your turn. xx

PugLuvAh · Aug 25th, 2011, 12:09 PM

Thanks girls for everyone's advice--I'm glad I sought it out

Quote:

Originally Posted by rosebud_01_99

ok,
please listen to this advice, as someone 16yrs ttc and hearing announcements all the time i feel i can help, please text or email her telling her before she visits, so if shes having a bad week feeling down about ttc she can cancel the weekend until another time rather that having to be nice around a pg woman all weekend, that way she makes the decision to spend the weekend around u while u are pg herself and is not forced to after u make the big announcement to her while she is there.

my worst nightmare is the senario where i visit the friend for weekend and she makes announcement and i have to cope with my sadness and despair and still be upbeat ect around her, i would rather have all the sorrow for myself out of my system before seeing her and then i can be genuinely interested in her hopefully supportive to her when im feeling emotionally ready.

i hope this makes some sense to you, and hope you have a happy pg.

rosebud

Thanks rosebud, this is exactly what I was worried about and why I was contemplating delaying telling her till AFTER the weekend. But I know I won't see her again for a year or longer, there is definitely no rescheduling this, and she has been a best friend for over 20 years....this was my horrible debate; trying to be sensitive to her feelings, but not wanting to assume what she was feeling or hurt her by not telling her in person because I know that she will be happy for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mlyn26

I'd prefer to be told beforehand via phone or email. That way she can deal with any emotions before seeing you. TBH i could not imagine her being upset, considering you were a LTTTCer and have had a loss. I imagine she will be thrilled that it's finally your turn. xx

I know she'll be happy for me given the stuggles I have had (and am still having) but I know it will still be hard for her given that she's still trying.

I think telling her beforehand is best as well...thats what I would have wanted. I hated being blind-sided with pregnancy announcements and having to hold in my feelings through dinner before I could cry.

shouzhi · Aug 28th, 2011, 07:17 AM

i hope this makes some sense to you, and hope you have a happy pg.

Tnkrbell15 · Aug 29th, 2011, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rosebud_01_99

ok,
please listen to this advice, as someone 16yrs ttc and hearing announcements all the time i feel i can help, please text or email her telling her before she visits, so if shes having a bad week feeling down about ttc she can cancel the weekend until another time rather that having to be nice around a pg woman all weekend, that way she makes the decision to spend the weekend around u while u are pg herself and is not forced to after u make the big announcement to her while she is there.

rosebud

As someone else who has be LTTTC for 10 years...I completely agree with Rosebud. Though I would be happy for my friend, I would also want the option to see how my emotions stood before seeing my friend face to face. I would also be really offended if that person didn't tell me until after I had seen them. Just be prepared to accept her decisions about seeing you or not. Also, you may want to explain to her that you're decision to wait so long to tell her and everyone else was out of fear of another miscarriage, and you are only starting to tell people because you are past most of the m/c danger. Congratulations and good luck.

xMissxZoiex · Aug 29th, 2011, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rosebud_01_99

ok,
please listen to this advice, as someone 16yrs ttc and hearing announcements all the time i feel i can help, please text or email her telling her before she visits, so if shes having a bad week feeling down about ttc she can cancel the weekend until another time rather that having to be nice around a pg woman all weekend, that way she makes the decision to spend the weekend around u while u are pg herself and is not forced to after u make the big announcement to her while she is there.

my worst nightmare is the senario where i visit the friend for weekend and she makes announcement and i have to cope with my sadness and despair and still be upbeat ect around her, i would rather have all the sorrow for myself out of my system before seeing her and then i can be genuinely interested in her hopefully supportive to her when im feeling emotionally ready.

i hope this makes some sense to you, and hope you have a happy pg.

rosebud

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tnkrbell15

As someone else who has be LTTTC for 10 years...I completely agree with Rosebud. Though I would be happy for my friend, I would also want the option to see how my emotions stood before seeing my friend face to face. I would also be really offended if that person didn't tell me until after I had seen them. Just be prepared to accept her decisions about seeing you or not. Also, you may want to explain to her that you're decision to wait so long to tell her and everyone else was out of fear of another miscarriage, and you are only starting to tell people because you are past most of the m/c danger. Congratulations and good luck.

I agree with both these posts, I personally couldnt think of anything worse than having to spend a whole weekend being happy for someone when all i want to do is cry.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, You are a great friend.

Aug 25th, 2011, 05:18 AM	#11
mlyn26 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 9,362	I'd prefer to be told beforehand via phone or email. That way she can deal with any emotions before seeing you. TBH i could not imagine her being upset, considering you were a LTTTCer and have had a loss. I imagine she will be thrilled that it's finally your turn. xx

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Aug 28th, 2011, 07:17 AM	#13
shouzhi Pregnant (Expecting) Inactive Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 26	i hope this makes some sense to you, and hope you have a happy pg.

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