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Old Aug 26th, 2011, 08:04 AM   11
rachel_f_
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I have been trying to concieve for 4 years now... Had every test going!!! All clear... Partner had an SA, all clear.. So its unexplained infertility for me.. Which tortures me! In my opinion, the more answers you have, and the more understanding you have, equals more options for treatment! Which eventually means BABY!! Even if there was a problem with your husbands sperm, there are lots of treatments to help... Its a hard road.. But the end result would be so worthhh ittt!! A little miricle, and you troubles concieveing will make it all the more specail!!! Good luck and sending lots of baby dust and healthy sperm vibes to you xxxxxx



 
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Old Aug 27th, 2011, 16:50 PM   12
SweetJennie
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I can completely understand the whole resentment thing. I have PCOS and as far as we were concerned it was all my fault. When I was try to talk to my OH about the possibility of it being him he would get very upset and remind me that it was my problems that were stopping us from conceiving. I changed my whole lifestyle and we talked about what we could do to work around my problems and what I needed to do. When my doc said he needed the SA and OH found out that he has a very very low count and low Motility I was devastated. It was another strike against us and I felt very resentful. I was mad for every time he reminded me the reason we didn't have a baby was because of my PCOS and I was mad he was so adamant he had no problems. I was angry that while I turned my whole life upside down he gave me a hard time for having to do something as simple as take a vitamin. So I completely understand your reluctance in wanting to have it done. One plus side is OH felt terrible after he got his results because the doc right away sent a referal to see the FS and told us because of OHs results IVF/ICSI were our only options. He realized how I felt all the time he was telling me it was my fault because the doctor turned the tables on him. It has def made him more understanding. I realize what ive typed makes OH seem horrible! He isn't at all. But i was very upset and resentful for quite some time.



 
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Old Aug 27th, 2011, 17:06 PM   13
lizzywiz
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These responses are so helpful! You guys are right about more info being better. So I have a new question:
Did anybodyís partner get upset with their results? I mean, did he get depressed or embarrassed that his swimmers werenít quite up to snuff? If so, how long did it bring him down?
That is my other concern- I donít know if I have it in me to support him through this if the results throw him for a loop.
Baby fever has sucked me dry. Like I said on another thread, I really am quite nice and cheerful and I actually love and like my husband very much! You canít tell from my posts, because that is the baby fever talking



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Old Aug 27th, 2011, 17:36 PM   14
SweetJennie
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My OH became very sensitive about the issue. He is fine if I talk to people and tell them we are having problems and I have PCOS but he doesnt want it brought up that he has problems. For a while he felt like less of a man. We did manage to get pregnant naturally somehow but that ended with a miscarriage. After the miscarriage he done a complete 180. Before that he said if he couldn't biologically have a child he didn't want me having one. So he was very negative about the option of using donor sperm. After the miscarriage he told me he doesnt want to have to wait to have a child and he wants to go use donor sperm so we can be pregnant again sooner instead of later. I think now he understands he would be there going through the motions with me and there for every step and the child would be no less his then a biological child. He also talks much more freely about his problems and as long as I dont go shouting it from the roof tops he is ok with me telling people. I think he has gotten to the point where the end goal is more important then how we get their or what he has to do to have a child. Obviously we are not jumping on to donor sperm just yet as he was able to get me pregnant naturally but it nice to know he is sort of coming to terms with it all. We found out in Feb we were having problems and it was the end of July when I lost the baby and he seemed to finally accept the situation.



 
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Old Aug 27th, 2011, 17:56 PM   15
bexxc
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lizzywiz View Post
These responses are so helpful! You guys are right about more info being better. So I have a new question:
Did anybodyís partner get upset with their results? I mean, did he get depressed or embarrassed that his swimmers werenít quite up to snuff? If so, how long did it bring him down?
That is my other concern- I donít know if I have it in me to support him through this if the results throw him for a loop.
Baby fever has sucked me dry. Like I said on another thread, I really am quite nice and cheerful and I actually love and like my husband very much! You canít tell from my posts, because that is the baby fever talking
honestly, dh was devastated by the result. he feels horrible for putting me through all the months of clomid and injections and ultrasounds and turning my diet upside down without ever being tested himself. he's very upset and embarrassed about it...on the bright side, i don't have to nag him about taking his vitamins, eating healthier, or putting down the can of beer.



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Old Aug 27th, 2011, 20:43 PM   16
lizzywiz
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Everything you guys are saying points to just getting it done and dealing with the outcome sooner than later. *sigh*
Even after 5+ years I still keep thinking it (infertility) will be easier than I thought...I also have to stay away from casinos because I truly believe I will win if I just bet one more time! Oh well, that same optimism helps on my bad days so I guess I should just embrace it.
Thanks again.



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Old Aug 28th, 2011, 03:07 AM   17
rachel_f_
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In my case, OH sperm count and motility was normal... And this made him happier and all the more supportive of me! Which has made our relationship better! You could be worrying for nothing! Ur OH sperm may be normal! and if it is, you and him can concentrate on the options you could take... E.g clomid, IUI... There's loads of things! Good luck! Xxxxxxxxx



 
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Old Aug 28th, 2011, 05:34 AM   18
star25
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Hi again lizzywiz, my DH is quite optimistic abiout his nxt SA, even tho we know the 1st one wasn't very good he thinks it was because he didnt get it there until dead on an hour and then we dont know how long it was before it was tested,

so at the moment hes quite willing to take all the vitamins i buy, although has said he thought we would save money by not drinking alcohol (not that were alcoholics or anything!) instead, were spending more on vitamins!
I'll try anything that helps us tho but just still so scared about the next SA, i don't want to get a bad result and then find myself in denial about the whole thing, even tho ive got to the point where i would rather know now,

its a scary process but we will all get there in the end, it may just take longer than others but oh how much we will appreciate it when we see our BFP's!!!
Good luck xxx



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Old Aug 28th, 2011, 18:45 PM   19
wifeyw
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Hi lizzy, you can see my signature at the bottom but after i found out i had PCOS, i went off birth control etc. For 5 years nothing... It didn't cross my mind that anything could be wrong with my DH. But it was coming up to us getting married i had mentioned him get a SA before we got married so we can start fresh knowing if it was just me or both but we never and waited until after.

So when he did waiting on the results as horrible, to find out they found no sperm at all in his semen. so they repeated the results and same again. After DH got the result we done nothing only cry. He said he felt like less of a man, he was very angry confused as was i but i was trying to save his feelings. The thought of not being able to have a biological child i didn't even want to think of it. We never left the house that whole weekend, avoided people pregnant women especially we felt so low. I always kept my feelings inside and whenever DH was at work i broke down or when i went out i had alittle cry but i didn't in front of him because i didn't want him to feel even worse. He had even said to me to leave him because he couldn't give me what i wanted which i know was out of frustration but after we did a biopsy we found some sperm and have to go down the ICSI route but it has eased alot and we have come along way in a year to say the least.

I definately went through every emotion going. and DH too. But as scarey as it is, it is definately better to get it out the way so you can move on to the next step. Just need to focus on the goal ahead. someone said a quote in another forum which i thought was good. " to get to our destination we need to take it a step at a time, but we must keep steping" keep us posted on the results good luck x



 
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