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Old Dec 8th, 2008, 10:22 AM   21
pixielou
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yeah, it all resonates with me. It's such a hard ones cos on one hand I would really like to talk about it more but just find it so hard. I think, as alot have said, that once bfp is here I will uncover the truth!



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Old Dec 8th, 2008, 12:35 PM   22
genkigemini
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Foe me personally, I tell everyone. I need people to understand that being on fertility drugs can give me extreme mood swings and make me really really emotional. I also want people to realize that they probably should not flaunt their pregnancies and things like that in my face. Most people are INCREDIBLY understanding and you would really be shocked to learn how many people are in or were in the same situation.

For me, talking to every person on God's green earth about my infertility is my therapy. DH is more private but I am glad that he understands why I am as vocal as I am.



 
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Old Dec 8th, 2008, 12:54 PM   23
Millnsy
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Great thread! Most of my family and close friends know but I've recently changed jobs so noone at work knows apart from one of the other managers in another office. I was quite open about it and on the whole I am glad they all know as it stops the stupid questions. Sometimes I wish I hadn't told everyone because some people think they have the right to cross examine me about "how its all going" and "what are the next steps" when I really don't want to talk about it. I've had quite a few people asking me about this forum as well and being very disapproving. They keep telling me to be careful about these places and really look down on me as if to say that I everyone on here is neurotic and full of shit. I just tell them (especially the pregnant ones) that they can't possibly imagine what I'm going through and you lot really help!



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Old Dec 9th, 2008, 14:23 PM   24
chocci
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I read as part of this postthat someone looked up celebrities andinfertiity as none of them talk abouit it but found nothing. Sooooooooooo the googler i am i just had to do it too and found this interesting list of celbs. I ALWAYS NEW "J. LO" HAD HAD IVF!!! Why dont they talk about it, they all think they are such good role models!!! I think its one of those things tho. I feel it is noone elses business but mine and my hubbys. I have told a couple of lose friends but only cos i trust them implicitly. I feel family and otehr friends must be wondering what is wrong with us not strating a family yet, but like i say they will find out if and when i ever get pregnant. Until then here are some interesting celebs stories
http://www.nobabyonboard.com/moviestv.html



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Old Dec 10th, 2008, 13:59 PM   25
MrsF
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this is a really interesting thread! We didn't tell our family we were trying cos we wanted it to be a surprise - i guess we had this idyllic dream of how it would go and waiting fora special occassion to say ' guess what?...' but as the months rolled by and turned into 2 years, and after DH bro and girlf had their baby, people started to ask us. We shrugged it off saying it wasn't financially viable at present, etc etc. We then went to the docs and started the ball rolling test wise and we then confided in close family. All of the 'relax' 'look at your sister' (uber-fertile lady that she is!), 'it's fate, not the right time' crap came out. Now we're under FS and after 3 years of ttc, some of the comments from family have ceased, but 'mum knows best ' if you know what i mean! Friends-wise, a couple of my close friends know (two of which have babies) and they are supportive - always there testing time to mop the tears and drag me out of the crap! I wonder if i should tell work, more so cos of the clomid and mood swings. A couple of managers know about the m/c, but never bring it up.

Thank you for starting this thread!



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Old Dec 11th, 2008, 14:18 PM   26
lemming
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I'm with Maz... Two of my friends know we were referred to the fertility clinic - one because I'd already told her that if she got pregnant before me I would cry when she told me; ironically, she's now also struggling to conceive so I'm able to pass info on to her.
The other person I've told is a mate who works as an embryologist at our local hospital; told her the night before my other half was taking his first sperm sample in - just in case it was her that he saw! Her reaction was wonderful - she was so excited and pleased for us that we were trying - made me feel much less like a failure.

We haven't told our parents - my mother in law would struggle with the concept and neither of us wants to go there - its just too hard. In the interests of fairness it means that we haven't told my parents either. I've found this hard since there's not been anything I couldn't tell my mum (lots that I chose not to tell her though!). She would just be very sad for us; she's been there. She is infertile; I was adopted at birth. She knows the score and although medical technology has moved on in the last 30 years, human emotion hasn't.



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Old Dec 11th, 2008, 22:10 PM   27
Vestirse
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Like many ladies, I haven't told anyone here just yet. It's not that I'm ashamed of any problems we might have, but I don't want others that might not understand asking me incessantly about this. I already have enough stress with the parents and in-laws strongly hinting that they want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet again and I've told them all we will try in April '09. I also have to respect OH's wishes that not everyone know.

If it is up to me, I think I'd tell them if/when we either start treatment or get our BFP. I'm not going to lie to anyone though at that point!!



 
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Old Dec 13th, 2008, 07:39 AM   28
Mynxie
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People know that we've MCd a few times, so most people have the sense to realise that we want a family. A handfull of people know that I had appointments about TTC and that's it really. I'm not broadcasting it but not hiding anything either.



 
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Old Dec 13th, 2008, 13:12 PM   29
Lazy Leo
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I didn't tell family because I knew I would get the 'relax' , it's not been that long, yadda yadda talk! I told one of my close friends who had pcos and managed to fall pregnant in 14 months. It so happens that she betrayed a trust and I really regret telling her things.

I m/c'd and told my mum a few days after. Then I started to tell other people and it makes it a bit easier for me. I don't go into too much detail but it definately help that they know and can be a bit sensitive to stuff.



 
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Old Dec 17th, 2008, 03:27 AM   30
Schmelly
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I think there are pros and cons to both being open, and keeping quiet. My parents/brother know, and my 2 best friends. DH has told 2 close friends. Recently I wish I could just be more open about it because I'm tired of people presuming that because I'm 31 and married, I obviously don't want children otherwise I'd have them. I'm tired of the questions about whther we will have a family or not. I'm tired of my friends with kids trying to convince me that having kids is the greatest thing in the world and i really should try it.

But I also understand from what a lot of you have said that the questions you get when people do know can be intolerable.

The whole situation is just crap! Thank heaven for BnB...a place to vent and a place where other people understand what it's like.



 
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