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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 19:40 PM   1
CurlySue
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Worst Xmas party ever?


...well, I think so, because in the middle of it all, after her fourth or fifth glass of wine, DH's auntie Von decides to announce that she's pregnant.

I am ashamed to admit that I tried to hold it together...for about twenty seconds. Then when all the hugs and congratulations were going on I slipped upstairs and cried my fucking heart out.

I can't even say I'm happy for her. She and her husband are both complete tools.



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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 20:03 PM   2
vineyard
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Drinking wine while pregnant.....great idea. (sarcasm). I'm sorry honey. I was there last week. A girl in our monthly book club announced her 2nd accidental pregnancy. Her first is only 6 months old. I just quietly slipped away to cry while everyone congratulated her. In fact, not even sure I can keep going to book club and see her walking around with her pregnant belly. Ugh. We, too, will get our chance. Someday.




 
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 20:09 PM   3
CurlySue
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The worst part is, everyone actually saw. They all know. The minute she said it they all looked at me. She didn't. She was in her own little world. she's a selfish bitch and always has been. She doesn't want to live near family. She chooses to live four hours away so she can be free of them yet, when she wants some gushing and adoration she turns up and acts like she gives a shit.

I have not cried like that in ages. It was the childlike, lost, mournful cry that makes you quake, that makes you tired. The kind of hurt where, if you pull yourself together and someone asks if you are okay you start crying again.

I ended up in the garden with OHs other auntie who just kept hugging me and telling me "It'll happen, it'll happen..."

J's grandma, she said it as soon as Von had spoken. His mother looked at me and said "Don't worry, you'll be next."

None of these things help.

It's so, so shit.



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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 22:00 PM   4
vineyard
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I am sorry you are feeling so much pain right now. It's a pain that only those of us who have been through this can understand. I understand that kind of hurt crying as well. It's painful!

and more



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 22:00 PM   5
vineyard
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Computer is funny and I ended up with a double post and it won't let me delete it entirely. So, I'm just editing it. : )

Hang in there darling! I know nothing anyone can say will make it all better or make it hurt any less. But, we must try to keep hope (as hard as that is).



 
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 22:35 PM   6
Wishing4baby
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Im so sorry you had to go through all of this tonight. It is so emotionally draining and HARD to hear about other ppl becoming pregnant! Not so smart of her to be chugging away while prego. (Just my personal opinion!) Hang in there! Our times are coming! We all just have to keep strong..as hard as that seems sometimes.

I know how this all feels as well. I work on a mother/baby unit and take care of the patients who never wanted to get pregnant in the first place. Alot of them dont have their children due to social work issues and are on their 17th or 18th pregnancy....meaning they dont every use BCP. I dont judge anyone ever...but its just very hard to see all of this and just try for a baby for so long with no luck. I have to deal with this stuff everyday at work.



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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 22:50 PM   7
JASMAK
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Oh hon...I would have told her to fuck off right then and there, so way to go for holding yourself together until you got somewhere. You are right, that is the shitiest party.



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Old Dec 21st, 2008, 03:54 AM   8
CurlySue
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Ah I couldn't tell her to fuck off. She's happy for her news. I did she her collaring J in the hall about an hour later. He says she feels awful, that if she'd known then she would not have blurted it out like that. J told her that it wouldn't have mattered how she said it, it still would've hurt me.

The reason she doesn't know is because she doesn't care. Everybody else knows. This has been going on for long enough, now, that it's obvious there is an elephant in the room with me and it's the fact that I can't have a kid. This is a woman who shuns family, who keeps well away into the recesses of Wales so she doesn't have to deal with them. THATS why she doesn't know.

J's other auntie was lovely though. She told me that she knew there was a problem but that since I and J never talk about it she didn't actually know what it was, but she knew I had had testing, etc. She gave me the whole routine of It'll happen, I know this person once, blah blah blah. Everyone knows a person. I actually don't believe that they do, they just like to say that they do.

It just really hit me. Her blurting it out like that. At first, I wondered what she had said. Surely not pregnant after drinking that much? Surely not, after not even trying? But, yes. Next Christmas, she said, the next grandchild would be at the Christmas Party for them to all gush over.

I so, so wanted that to be MY baby.



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Old Dec 21st, 2008, 05:29 AM   9
Jan34
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Hey CurlySue, that sucks, I really feel for you. Hoorah that you at least have some lovely sensitive members of your family..... they are the ones we need to rely on.



 
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Old Dec 21st, 2008, 08:45 AM   10
CareBear
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I am so sorry this sounds like the worst christmas party ever. Its hard enough hearing or seeing other people pregnant at any time but to hear her announce it after several glasses of wine makes it even worse, in fact if I was in your shoes I would have had a hard time not to have a go at her for drinking whilst being pregnant and then broken down in front of everyone. I really hope you get a soon



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