My DH is of the mind that it will happen when it happens, he wants another baby as much as I do but I don't think he notices how much time passes as much as I do.

With our daughter it took us 7 years, in the end it happened without any assistance but because it took so long I'm afraid that the next one will take as long (or not at all) but he just keeps on being patient about it. Sometimes it drives me nuts, especially when I comment on how long it's been and he says "it'll happen when it's meant to happen" but he's just more patient than I am.

I think when you have one already like we do the men are in less of a hurry

I wish I could say it's only been since we had our daughter but he was like this before we had her too, right up until I got pregnant with her. He just has a lot more patience than I do. :\

My oh doesnt really express how he is feeling but I can tell he is sad that it doesnt seem to be happening.

My DH reacted the same way to then news that he was the problem. He literally heard magical different words coming from the doctor. Somehow, a million good sperm for IUI was AWESOME in his mind...even after I showed him study after study with single digit success rates for post-wash counts under TEN million. He then kept telling everyone that I had issues because I spotted a few cycles so the ob/gyn put me on Clomid before ever testing DH. For the record, our chart at the FS says "male factor infertility" and the doctor said that I have no issues. Thanks, doc. Then the urologist told DH that he was "super," according to DH...which just meant "you don't have a varicocele, but you should do ICSI." After I refused IVF and had a massive meltdown, telling DH that this was all his fault, he FINALLY realized that he wasn't "just fine." Then he got really sad and started dealing with it realistically. I felt bad for being so mean to him about it, but I was sick of being "blamed." I've now caved on the IVF and we're starting next week, hopefully. I think men just aren't capable of hearing that their swimmers have problems

Hope your DH gets it together soon

That fecking selective hearing!

Every time I confront him about being in denial he just brushes it off. So hopefully one day he'll wake up and smell the before I've lost my marbles and can't LTTC anymore.

Another fellow poster told me, what they fail to realize is that we're going thru this hell because we love them and want to have their baby. I could've filed for a divorce last year, given that IF was tearing our marriage apart. I wasn't dealing well with it, and he wasn't acknowledging anything. But I didn't. I really hope that he sees that.

Thank you for your story and letting me know I'm not alone in unsupportive DHs.

You're welcome Sometimes I think unsupportive DH's with lazy stupid sperm is the worst kind of IF. It's so hard to not be resentful, especially when they're being so insensitive. My mother once asked me if I was sorry I married DH...but I told her honestly, no. Before DH, I was ambivalent about having children...I want to have HIS children. The IF has definitely put a major strain on our marriage, though. Having DH come to every last IUI, HSG, etc. really helped him realize what I was going through BECAUSE OF HIM (I possibly also mentioned several times that this was his fault...bad, I know).

I actually did tell DH that I go through all of this for him, because I want to have his baby...and because this is OUR problem, not just his...because I'm not having a baby if he's not. I also had to tell my mother this when she thought I just needed donor sperm

I hope your DH gets it together soon...I know how hard it is to do it alone

My oh is not so good with the whole lttc. We think the issue could be with me as when I was younger I got like 3 periods a year at most, so i went to the docs who sent me for an ultrasound. My scan showed an enlarged left ovary, indicating possible pcos so they put me on dianette and, being 15, we left it at that. However, i've been off dianette for around 2 years and in november I went back to docs to ask for help with ttc and he ordered blood work which showed no signs of pcos, diabetes, cholestrol or anything else. 'The picture of health' he said... So where the frigg is my baby?!!
I'm also a big dreamer and mindlessly scribble doodles on the backs of receipts etc and i've found myself scribbling baby names, and my oh told me to get a grip! Just little things like that hurt. He's a proud man, and he genuinely thinks that it's me that's the problem, but after the blood work showed no pcos, i'm not so sure.