ive been thinking about this alot lately. ive been trying nearly 5 years and although every month it breaks my heart to see to dreaded AF my dh and i have acheived alot. we have got engaged, moved from a small flat to a family home, baught a new car, been promoted twice, got married enjoyed an inclusive holiday and have lost 3stone in weight becoming healthier. x
For me it has allowed me to understand my body, I have definatly grown mentally and emotionally, OH and I still have our ups and downs but we are closer than ever. I (hope I) have helped close friends go through difficult ttc times. Even though its hard, it is lovely to see them having children, and knowing at the moment I am free to help whenever I can (much more than if I had my own too)
And I agree about the never ever needing contraception again!!
Oh and how could I forget, I have won a trophy for cycle racing, I couldn't have done that with a bump!
Ttc for just over 2 yrs has been a really tough time. Its certainly taken its toll on us and our sex life. Its hard because we're against the clock and both have fertility problems. But like others have said, this journey and in particular getting pregnant and losing our little one through mc/prom has brought us closer together. Within six wks of the mc we'd gotten married! We v much have been going through all of this on our own. Be we know we are there for each other :-)
I tend to think that bringing children into the world might not be a good idea anyway ... we are overpopulated and what will the world be like in 50 years? A great place for our children? I'm not sure. So if I never have children I at least console myself with the fact that I will never have to worry about anything bad happening to them, and also I am not contributing to overpopulation. It's a depressing view but it gets me through my months and years or inexplicable infertility...
I think this way sometimes too. A good friend (with older children) once told me "Don't have kids - all they do is break your heart." I was in my mid-twenties and didn't want kids then anyway. But I think about that often and I think it will give me strenghth if I end up not having any. If I don't get pregnant this month or next, I'm throwing in the towel and going back to BC. I've only been ttc for 2.5 years, but for other health reasons I need to get back to BC at some point and also I am not willing/able ($) to do more drugs and procedures. BFNs are heartbreaking. If/when I decide to give up it will be hard of course, but there will also be an element of relief.
I would say that being infertile and the LTTTC process hasn't made me and my husband closer as I am very lucky me and my husband are most definitely soul mates, best friends before all of this but it has most definitely given our relationship something more something deeper than most of our friends will ever have experience of, I most definitely have the most amazing supportive husband ever and I will never take that for granted, he knows when I am down or having a hard time before I do!! I also love knowing I will never need contraception. But what I love the most is that due to having IVF me and my husband will experience more than most people, we will get to see our embryos and have the choice weather we have one or two embryos, not many people get to do or see those things, we will also have earlier and more frequent scans. We will definitely appreciate the gift of a new life more too. So as devastating as this journey has been it is also just as amazing, and in a way things do happen for a reason I suppose
Location: Cocooned in my bed drinking hot chocolate!
If I had fallen pregnant straight away I would still be stuck in a job I hated with an evil controlling bully of a boss! Instead I now own a dental nursing locum agency and although the money is less I am in charge of my life and have never been more career happy!
Next month we are also officially debt free for the first time in over 4 years. If we had fallen pregnant this would have been a huge financial strain and the extra stress would not have been good for baby or us.
I also have my gorgeous little fur baby who was brought after our Sprout's due date passed and still no She is an absolute treasure and we are soon to make another doggy addition to the family.
Next year we hope to travel something that would not be possible with a baby.
If everything happens for a reason I am determined to make the most of now.
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