a feeling that never goes away

hopefull85 · Apr 13th, 2012, 00:22 AM

im so tired. tired of month after month nothing happens. my body is so useless its the most confusing

thing i have ever known. all i want to do is scream. i start thinking about things when certain people are around me. it never goes away those feeling and thoughts are always there. im so tired of being called names because of the way i am about this

. no one in my life truely knows the pain that i go through everyday. i go to bed and dream of being a mother and yet when i wake up i cry because thats all it was, just a dream. im so afraid that when i go to the doctor next month i am not going to get the news that i want. im so afraid that i will be told that im sterile. i hate it when someone says well maybe its your husband. really hmm cause there were many chances way before my husband that i could have gotten pregnant. i just dont understand. i just want to stay in my bed and cry all day everyday but what good does that do. im just so tired of it all.

Shareena · Apr 14th, 2012, 20:28 PM

I am so sorry we have to go thru this.

It's just not fair but keep faith. I am sure doctor will find a way to help you. Our bodies are different and they just need to find the right medication that works.

eternaldream · Apr 15th, 2012, 01:41 AM

Stay strong! We can get through this, and one day we will be awesome mothers!

hopefull85 · Apr 15th, 2012, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eternaldream

Stay strong! We can get through this, and one day we will be awesome mothers!

its so hard to stay strong. shoot i even teared up just reading the the few words you wrote. im so tired. im tired of the wait year after year and always nothing. im tired of everyone i know getting pregnant like it aint nothing and yet here i am about to turn 27 and have never had 1 BFP NOTHING!!!!!! i continue to ask myself everyday what is so wrong with. i am not a bad peron. i dont smoke, i dont drink, and i dont do drugs.i try to help others as much as i can. im tired of smiling when inside i am broken. im just tired

Seoul · Apr 15th, 2012, 05:50 AM

Uggg I totally know the feeling! There was a woman breastfeeding at my church today and I was so jealous I felt horrible that I was at Church and had these feelings. I want it so bad and can't have it!

It is annoying to hear "consoling" words from people that have never been through anything like this! I have had three BFP's but miscarried all of them it is terrible that those of us that want to be moms so bad have such a hard time and there are others that never wanted it and take it for granted! Chin up and keep hoping! I have to tell myself everyday to think positive the alternative is to sulk and be upset all the time and that isn't fun although there are days where it is exactly what I need! Good Luck to you and I am sure that one day we will be able to enjoy motherhood!

hopefull85 · Apr 15th, 2012, 20:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seoul

Uggg I totally know the feeling! There was a woman breastfeeding at my church today and I was so jealous I felt horrible that I was at Church and had these feelings. I want it so bad and can't have it!

It is annoying to hear "consoling" words from people that have never been through anything like this! I have had three BFP's but miscarried all of them it is terrible that those of us that want to be moms so bad have such a hard time and there are others that never wanted it and take it for granted! Chin up and keep hoping! I have to tell myself everyday to think positive the alternative is to sulk and be upset all the time and that isn't fun although there are days where it is exactly what I need! Good Luck to you and I am sure that one day we will be able to enjoy motherhood!

it sucks getting older cause though cause you start to think of how many good years you have left and i start to think about well what if im 35 and it still hasnt happened i dont know i just hate it

Wallie · Apr 16th, 2012, 15:47 PM

I'm sorry you feel so bad, I've been in that place many a time too. I've now been through treatments and they have all failed. I'm 37 and never had a bfp ever either.

You need to get as much help as possible medically and emotionally. Do you have access to a councillor? I think you need help to get you out of the blues. I know it's hard but try and think of all the good things you have in life, try to see there is other things to life and try, please try and enjoy it as otherwise you'll miss out on alot. Others will be envious of what you may have.

Best of luck. Oh and wow, you live in such a beautiful place. I totally love Florida. I'm coming over there in about 3 weeks time. Going to New Port Richey infact! See even I'm envious of you.

Apr 13th, 2012, 00:22 AM	#1
hopefull85 Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Pensacola Florida Posts: 148	a feeling that never goes away im so tired. tired of month after month nothing happens. my body is so useless its the most confusing thing i have ever known. all i want to do is scream. i start thinking about things when certain people are around me. it never goes away those feeling and thoughts are always there. im so tired of being called names because of the way i am about this. no one in my life truely knows the pain that i go through everyday. i go to bed and dream of being a mother and yet when i wake up i cry because thats all it was, just a dream. im so afraid that when i go to the doctor next month i am not going to get the news that i want. im so afraid that i will be told that im sterile. i hate it when someone says well maybe its your husband. really hmm cause there were many chances way before my husband that i could have gotten pregnant. i just dont understand. i just want to stay in my bed and cry all day everyday but what good does that do. im just so tired of it all.

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 20:28 PM	#2
Shareena Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Brampton,On Posts: 129	I am so sorry we have to go thru this. It's just not fair but keep faith. I am sure doctor will find a way to help you. Our bodies are different and they just need to find the right medication that works.

Status: Offline

Apr 15th, 2012, 01:41 AM	#3
eternaldream Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 43	Stay strong! We can get through this, and one day we will be awesome mothers!

Status: Offline

Apr 15th, 2012, 05:50 AM	#5
Seoul Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Seoul Korea Posts: 211	Uggg I totally know the feeling! There was a woman breastfeeding at my church today and I was so jealous I felt horrible that I was at Church and had these feelings. I want it so bad and can't have it! It is annoying to hear "consoling" words from people that have never been through anything like this! I have had three BFP's but miscarried all of them it is terrible that those of us that want to be moms so bad have such a hard time and there are others that never wanted it and take it for granted! Chin up and keep hoping! I have to tell myself everyday to think positive the alternative is to sulk and be upset all the time and that isn't fun although there are days where it is exactly what I need! Good Luck to you and I am sure that one day we will be able to enjoy motherhood!

Status: Offline

Apr 16th, 2012, 15:47 PM	#7
Wallie Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Scotland Posts: 5,154	I'm sorry you feel so bad, I've been in that place many a time too. I've now been through treatments and they have all failed. I'm 37 and never had a bfp ever either. You need to get as much help as possible medically and emotionally. Do you have access to a councillor? I think you need help to get you out of the blues. I know it's hard but try and think of all the good things you have in life, try to see there is other things to life and try, please try and enjoy it as otherwise you'll miss out on alot. Others will be envious of what you may have. Best of luck. Oh and wow, you live in such a beautiful place. I totally love Florida. I'm coming over there in about 3 weeks time. Going to New Port Richey infact! See even I'm envious of you.

Status: Offline

User Name		Remember Me?
Password