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Old Apr 18th, 2013, 20:21 PM   11
babymonkey18
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gretavon,
I am not a SAHM (yet...I'm still in grad school, only a few weeks along with my first preg heh) but I am also a Christian and I agree completely with you on your views.

In our society (which is completely worldly), people treat marriage as if it is something you do for "happiness", and is typically ultimately selfish. In Christ, we know that marriage is to grow together and closer to Him! And to ultimately use it as another way to glorify Jesus, and practice sacrifice for one another as He did for us. Not that we aren't extremely in happy in marriage as well...but that's not the ultimate goal here (and not saying it is for everyone else, but it seems like for many people it is).

I am thankful for a sister in Christ, who has a DH who stands firm in her faith. Keep it up...there needs to be more Christians who represent Christianity as best as they can. Not saying we don't make mistakes or sin, but that we repent and give all glory to God.
Anyway, sorry to go off, I am passionate about Christ

I just wanted to encourage you and let you know you are not alone. My husband and I know that no matter what, divorce is not an option. Don't let people make you feel bad or belittle you. I have been laughed at and told I was naive as well...I just pray that these people are given faith and joy that only God can give them.



 
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Old May 6th, 2013, 11:48 AM   12
Darlin65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pvsmith12 View Post
I am not exaggerating when I say my MIL (before DH & I tied the knot) told me to hyphenate my last name with his "so it's easier to go back to your maiden name when you split." I almost crapped my pants. Then when I went to get my drivers license re-done with my married name the lady doing it said "Give it about 20 years, then the maiden name will come back up." DH & I just looked at each other and sort of laughed. I think the problem with today's society is that most people view getting a divorce as something natural, like losing your baby teeth.
make.
I had to at this because the lady who did my nails for my wedding was like this! She told me about her horrible marriage (full rainbow of language included) and how she wasn't a slave and he should have done his own laundry dishes etc. That she wasn't his mom she was his wife... Let's just say she is now working on her second one and doesn't seem any more hopeful for it.

I have been a SAHM since December with my DS. OH had been laid off and I was working part time. He finally got a new job that supported us better than the unemployment (actually a very hard thing to do) but we are still struggling. I've always wanted to be a SAHM when we were in the right position financially but things change. One being that we can't afford daycare for me to work while DH goes to work and full time school. The other is that DS has a heart condition so it is very important we keep him away from sick kids/people. A simple cold could land him in the hospital because only one of his lungs is connected and functions.

I have always liked the idea of being a SAHM because I feel like it is the right thing to do for my husband and my children. It is my job as a wife and mother to take care of them and I believe the husband's job to provide and protect (even if I will go all crazy mama bear on somebody trying to hurt my kids ) I married into a catholic family. DH and I really don't practice and specific organized religion. We believe in being in good people based on the bible's teachings in general. I know his family thinks it is just horrific that I stay at home. They all are very successful and have fancy careers for the most part. One sil is in her 30's and already talking about retirement. I know this just by how they feel that DH is still not finished with his degree and how they treat him. I'm not going to lie, it is hard to go to family functions and to hear about all their accomplishments the past couple of months and for them to ask what's new. Esp. when all I can say is I found a new recipe or DS has a new tooth. But on the day to day I am happy for the most part. Would I like to have more accomplishments like a degree of some sort? Yes, I would. I don't think I would ever use it though. Even with a degree and the ability to go to work I would always choose to stay home and take care of my boys. It's a personal choice I think honestly. We don't say the d-word. We said til death do us part and we meant it. We've been together for over 7yrs continuously and none of that on a break nonsense. I think we can do it and I think you can too! Too many people accept failure as an option and I think when you make that a choice it becomes a main option or an easy out. We've had our miserable times but we always come back stronger



 
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Old Jul 9th, 2013, 16:08 PM   13
Eternal
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I don't believe divorce is an impossibility, things happen, I don't think I could live with my husband if he were unfaithful to me or if he hit me. But we are sealed for time and all eternity, my religion believe we can stay married after death, we have a separate ceremony for that. So I expect to be with him forever.

As for being a SAHM it's our choice but ultimately my choice, if I wanted to work he wouldn't stop me, if I could earn what he does and I wanted to he would stay home and allow me to be the breadwinner, although I'm sure he prefers to be the one earning and the higher earner but still he would switch roles if it were an option.



 
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Old Jul 9th, 2013, 23:08 PM   14
blessedmomma
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babymonkey18 View Post
gretavon,
I am not a SAHM (yet...I'm still in grad school, only a few weeks along with my first preg heh) but I am also a Christian and I agree completely with you on your views.

In our society (which is completely worldly), people treat marriage as if it is something you do for "happiness", and is typically ultimately selfish. In Christ, we know that marriage is to grow together and closer to Him! And to ultimately use it as another way to glorify Jesus, and practice sacrifice for one another as He did for us. Not that we aren't extremely in happy in marriage as well...but that's not the ultimate goal here (and not saying it is for everyone else, but it seems like for many people it is).

I am thankful for a sister in Christ, who has a DH who stands firm in her faith. Keep it up...there needs to be more Christians who represent Christianity as best as they can. Not saying we don't make mistakes or sin, but that we repent and give all glory to God.
Anyway, sorry to go off, I am passionate about Christ

I just wanted to encourage you and let you know you are not alone. My husband and I know that no matter what, divorce is not an option. Don't let people make you feel bad or belittle you. I have been laughed at and told I was naive as well...I just pray that these people are given faith and joy that only God can give them.
wss exactly. the devil will always attack you when you live your life for Christ. be prepared for the battle against your marriage and family. keep your armor on. stay strong. ephesians 6:10-18



 
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Old Nov 20th, 2013, 15:55 PM   15
Hannahboo
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Mathew 10: 1-9. Divorces is unritious according to the Lord Jesus Christ. I know what you are talking about and we have many people also talk Down to us because we are going to homeschool our children (haven't started yet because age) and they tell us that they aren't going to learn anything and are gonna be anti social blah blah blah.., but it's just because they have been desensitized and have worldly standards rather that upright righteous standards. We do not believe divorce is an option because there is healing in the blood of Christ and once your married you become one when your marriage body is sick or damaged Lord God can heal that body.
(not trying to step on toes or offend anyone I just felt lead by the spirit to post these words) we are ment to be as an encouragement, uplifting and glad tidings for our brothers an sister in Christ so I am saying to you- do NOT listen to those obscene words that some may try to speak on you. Have joy in the lord know that if God is truely number one in both you and your husbands life that the enemy cannot destroy your marriage.



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Old Dec 4th, 2013, 11:18 AM   16
Mangoes
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I'm not Christian, I'm a Muslim woman and I've been told the same thing essentially. That I would be throwing away my college education, my life just to stay home and care for my children. The only sound advice about it I've ever gotten was from my mom would told me that being a SAHM would be a sacrifice since we would be giving up an income, other than that she's perfectly okay with the idea.

I have to deal with so many nasty opinions from others though, who keep telling me I'll have to work after the baby is born, and try to interfere into me and my husband's plans. Sigh.



 
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Old Jun 12th, 2014, 09:38 AM   17
misspriss
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I work, you aren't missing out on any fulfillment....I really want to be a SAHM though, it's what I'm working towards. I have not encountered this attitude in real life, but I live in a pretty conservative area I guess. I'm Catholic, so divorce is not an option save abuse or infidelity. No one has dared suggest we will probably be divorced in a few years. Of course, both of our parents are still together, well, my dad is widowed, but that's different. I guess expectations are different based on what you have been through.



 
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Old Jun 18th, 2014, 10:12 AM   18
lynnikins
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I have been a stay at home mum for 5 1/2 years but need to get back working before this baby because of my husband leaving work to do an Internship at our Church which will make it hard for him to hold a job. Not the greatest of timing to find out I'm expecting but none the less God has it under control and will sort it out for us



 
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