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Old Jul 10th, 2012, 08:59 AM   1
gretavon
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any christian SAHMs told they're foolish by others?


So I. Was chatting in another forum and really got my feelings hurt because I was told over and over again divorce is so common and basically immanant that its foolish for the man to be the soul breadwinner because whats the woman to do when he leaves her and his kids? But because my husband and I christian (pentecostal) we both have always. Agreed marriage is sacrid and a divorce will never happen. It just is never an option. We have a great relationship and are constantly working on it and we completely trust eachother not because of how great we think the other is but because we love God and we would never want to dissapoint him. Anywho...does anybody get what Im saying? Does anybody else have the same outlook on marriage as we do? Do you believe divorce is bound to happen to us all and women should already be planning for it while still married? Any positive feedback would be deeply appreciated im quite hurt.



 
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Old Jul 10th, 2012, 12:02 PM   2
lhancock90
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I don't believe divorce will happen to everyone, plenty of couples last! However i also think its foolish to expect it to never happen to you. Relationships and people change, whilst your religion influences how you feel about divorce, it can't stop it. That said, you and your husband are happy and fine, ignore anyone saying anything else and just be happy.



 
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Old Jul 11th, 2012, 14:45 PM   3
Button#
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I'm not religious but my OH and I are pretty certain we would never divorce. We both talk a lot about our relationship and how we feel about it and each other. Despite this my OH has always made it clear that it's important to him that I am capable of walking away if I need to. Not that for one second either of us think he would be abusive it's important to him that if he were I could leave him. Because of that he was very keen for me to learn to drive, we have a joint mortgage and I have my own savings. I am a SAHM but if I needed to I could get back into work very quickly.



 
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Old Jul 19th, 2012, 10:38 AM   4
MamaGA
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I'm constantly made to feel ridiculous for staying home with my children. I believe it is a choice to stay home, and I choose it. It is no one else's choice, its a decision you and your spouse make. Keep your head high and ignore rude comments.



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Old Jul 23rd, 2012, 17:50 PM   5
summer rain
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I'm not Christian but I've experience the same attitude xx



 
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Old Aug 9th, 2012, 12:04 PM   6
RoseKitten
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I've been called a prostitute (you know, because all I do is have sex with my husband for his money...).

I've been told I'm "worthless" because the value of an individual is based solely on what their income is (never mind what it would cost to replace me, that's not important).

Some people are just bitter. The women that have called me the above have been through horrible divorces and lived sad lives. But, their way of coping is to make others feel as bad as they do. I've learned to just ignore it. *hugs*



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Old Sep 4th, 2012, 11:15 AM   7
lynnikins
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people have expressed concern about my ability to be happy without the goals and pursuasions of a job and career outside the home.

My answer is that I chose this with my husband we don't believe that divorce is an option for us no matter how tough things get we find a way to work through our problems my husband is a child of a broken marriage and doesn't want that for our boys.
my Faith allows me to be happy in fullfilling the role of wife and mother within my home and as a friend and support to family and friends outside the home without the need of paid employment



 
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Old Sep 4th, 2012, 21:51 PM   8
RoseKitten
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lynnikins View Post
people have expressed concern about my ability to be happy without the goals and pursuasions of a job and career outside the home.
I've heard this before, too. It's as though being a wonderful wife and mother isn't a worthwhile pursuit? That's not to say that women who do work aren't wonderful wives and mothers, but that some of us truly enjoy being at home to care for our families, and are perfectly content with that being all we do.



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Old Oct 11th, 2012, 10:53 AM   9
Angelbaby_01
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I was told so many times that I am foolish to stay at home and that I need to get a life. My life is my family. PERIOD.

Many of my friends are jealous because of the fact that I am able to look after my daughter. So nasty comments do follow. I have also been told that I drink tea and coffee with my friends on my husband's expense. Which is not true, I don't even go out that much to restaurants.

In the end we must move on. We are more priviliged and many of these woman long for their children at work. They only talk out of their own hurt.



 
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Old Nov 26th, 2012, 09:27 AM   10
pvsmith12
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I am not exaggerating when I say my MIL (before DH & I tied the knot) told me to hyphenate my last name with his "so it's easier to go back to your maiden name when you split." I almost crapped my pants. Then when I went to get my drivers license re-done with my married name the lady doing it said "Give it about 20 years, then the maiden name will come back up." DH & I just looked at each other and sort of laughed. I think the problem with today's society is that most people view getting a divorce as something natural, like losing your baby teeth.

As for being a SAHM - people shouldn't be judging. It works for some families, and others not. I know, personally, I would love nothing more to be a SAHM when DH & I (finally) have a baby. For some it might be the only feasible option - once people take in to account the amount made for a paycheck, and then factor in what it would cost for travel, a babysitter, lunches to pack... I know people who would end up paying out more than they would make.



 
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