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Old Sep 9th, 2012, 15:02 PM   1
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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I really need some advice.. Christian ladies

Hi Ladies

Just a bit of background.. I'm a Christian, brought up a Christian but moved away really during my teens, only to now at 28 have I really come back to my faith and start to learn the bible in great detail, trying to get to church regularly (but it's all very hard due to my situation.. Below)

I have been married for 4 years, to a wonderful man, I love him immensely.. And he is from a Muslim background. Not practicing. One year before our actual wedding we had a Nickah, which is a Muslim wedding, at the request of his mum. He was completely against it but at the time I felt happy to go along with it.. It really meant nothing in way of anything spiritual to me. His mum took it as a sign of my conversion. This is totally my own doing.

When we had our first child it was a given that she have a Muslim name. Again at the time I was happy with Layla and gave her an English middle name. Inlove the name Layla, it's very western anyway. Also I've always embraced her culture, I love her very much and we share many of the same views on ethics etc..

So, when I found out I was pg this time we search for names that were both Muslim and Christian but it's not possible. I'm having a boy. My husband and I decided that we name his after a prophet.. Ie Isaac or Elijah therefore she'll be happy. This came up today and she's basically hit the roof (in her way) laid on a guilt trip and brought up the ceremony from years ago, and left ur by saying repeatedly these children are Muslim, must be brought up as such and given Muslim names and if not brought up as muslims she'll be deeply upset.

I am very upset about this myself. I feel my children are not Muslim, they are my children.. In my eyes a gift of God the father. I just don't know what to do really.

My husband says I'm making a big deal of it. This is because he holds no strong beliefs. He's certainly not a Muslim but he's not a christian either. He believes in God but I'm not aware behind that.

I just need some guidance how to deal with this if anyone can offer any insight. I feel very strongly that my children will not be brought up Muslim but i don't want to cause a permanent rift.

Thanks for reading and sorry of any spelling errors - using my iPhone.

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Old Sep 11th, 2012, 04:58 AM   2
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I'm a Muslim & we have a similar situation in our family. My cousin is married to a practicing Christian. He's not a very practicing Muslim, he believes in God & all but he doesn't really practice. He lives with his parents who are practicing Muslims. His wife travels to her hometown 2-3 months every year during school holidays.

She has 2 kids, Maria (they call her Masha) & Daniel. She takes the kids to church & she teaches them about her religion, but the kids' grandmother teaches them about Islam. When they grow up, they will have the right to choose their own path.

They've been married for over 8 years, their kids are 7 & 3.

As for names, I don't know about your DH's family origins, but many of my western friends who live here chose Arabic names for their kids as they were looking for unique names. Not all Arabic names are Islamic names & they have very nice meanings.

Adam for example is universal. Names like Kian, Rayan, Kinan for example have nice Arabic meanings & they don't sound Islamic or so Arabic.

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Old Sep 11th, 2012, 08:53 AM   3
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Ive not come across your situation before hun but I would urge you to seek God about it and look for your answer in scripture, If you strongly believe that you dont want to raise your children muslim then you need to get an accord from your husband on this he needs to support your feelings if he practices no faith of his own, I know Family can be problematic but your MIL needs to respect yours and your husbands right to raise your children the way you believe is right for them and back off, yes in some cultures this can be really difficult my own MIL had her fair share of difficult moments about things we have chosen to do over the years but shes had her chance raised her children its your turn now. You need to let your MIL know that you havent converted and have no plans to either .

good luck

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Old Sep 11th, 2012, 11:24 AM   4
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Thanks ladies, this is good advice.

U spoke to my husband and we agree that while the kids are small we will allow MIL to talk about her beliefs obviously and show how she says her prayers etc, however we dont want them taught the Koran at a young age or going to the mosque for example. We will teach our kids our beliefs.

As for my beliefs it's hard for me to come forward and say to my MIL that I'm a Christian and that I will teach my children the bible and go to church etc, because it is going to cause a massive rift. I put all this in the hands of God but especially that part!

I respect her and her religion and I don't believe in denying my children knowledge of their background in any way. When they are older they will choose what they want to do. I trust and have faith that the lord will guide my children and they will know the truth.

Thank you again x

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Old Sep 28th, 2012, 00:13 AM   5
Mum (Mom)
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That's a good plan. I agree to definitely seek God in this. He knows all. Just really try to listen to His words on this situation. I can't even imagine what you must be going through at this point. It's hard when there are issues with your mother in law. But really, it's not up to her to raise your Children. Its up to you, your husband and God.

Good well with everything. It will all turn out if you turn your face to the Father.

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