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Old Sep 10th, 2011, 10:35 AM   21
blessedmomma
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the first one we went to was pentecostal. i really loved the people and like you said i could really feel the Holy Spirit. we started having issues when one day we missed cuz i was having morning sickness very bad and was extremely sick. the pastor pointed us out in church then went into a sermon about the best christians being the ones that never miss church. it was very demeaning. he never asked why we missed or anything, i just wanted to leave. we were only able to go in the evenings cuz our son was napping in the mornings still and he started making comments about us not attending the morning sermon. we started going on wed nights as well but apparently it wasnt enough. i just dont want to be pushed around by guilt to make a pastor happy. i love the Lord with my whole being and talk with Him all day long. to me that is more what its about. someone can go to church all the time but not have a relationship with Jesus and therefore not do what they should in life.



 
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Old Sep 10th, 2011, 11:03 AM   22
Xpecta
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Lynnikins, That would be a rough position for the Pastor to be in! Especially if he's got such a great vision! Hopefully he CAN make a difference some how! With enough prayer, I'm sure it can happen!

and Blessedmomma, that INFURIATES me that he treated you that way!! That is just NOT a way to run a Church! That is disgusting! I can't believe a Pastor would do that. Clearly he is in it for the power, and NOT for Jesus. Its a good thing you left that Church.

Our Pastor is GREAT!! Just fantastic, but lately I've been feeling a bit out cast by the Church, and now with the thing with my friend, she's shoving things in my face, and really making things hard for me, and I just don't even want to go to that Church anymore. There are too many people that live a double life there.



 
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Old Sep 10th, 2011, 11:29 AM   23
blessedmomma
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Originally Posted by Xpecta View Post
Lynnikins, That would be a rough position for the Pastor to be in! Especially if he's got such a great vision! Hopefully he CAN make a difference some how! With enough prayer, I'm sure it can happen!

and Blessedmomma, that INFURIATES me that he treated you that way!! That is just NOT a way to run a Church! That is disgusting! I can't believe a Pastor would do that. Clearly he is in it for the power, and NOT for Jesus. Its a good thing you left that Church.

Our Pastor is GREAT!! Just fantastic, but lately I've been feeling a bit out cast by the Church, and now with the thing with my friend, she's shoving things in my face, and really making things hard for me, and I just don't even want to go to that Church anymore. There are too many people that live a double life there.
thank you hun i agree. it was really a good atmosphere when we started going there. i wouldnt mind going to another pentecostal church again. they seem very alive. if you dont mind me asking, why do you feel like an outcast at your church? and what is your friend throwing in your face? if you dont want to say i understand. i know what you mean about people living a double life. its a shame that they arent listening to the Holy Spirit, but they think they are still living right. its really a daily walk with the Lord that will keep us on track i believe. although i know im far from where i need to be, im so thankful for where he has brought me so far. i know to turn from what im doing when he shows me its the wrong direction and every day im in awe of my precious Jesus. He has forgiven me for so much, i can never repay Him. i will spend my life following Him though and do my best to lead as many people as i can to Him through His love and grace.

sometimes i think people get saved and the devil brings an arrogance and pride to them. they start to think they are better than others for being saved. we are def blessed for being chosen, but to get prideful is not Gods way.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2011, 01:19 AM   24
Xpecta
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Well in the United Pentecostal Church, apparently they believe that Women HAVE to wear skirts, all day, every day. They also say you can't cut your hair, and aren't allowed to wear Jewlery. But I just don't believe that. I need my hair short. If it gets long, I can't stand it around my shoulders. I like wearing the occasional piece of Jewlery, especially if its something special I was given as a gift. Plus...I don't wear skirts..Ever... I'm not that type of Girl. I've always been more of a Tom-boy type. And guys aren't allowed to wear shorts, they always have to wear pants. Well you know what? Its hot outside, and my husband needs to wear shorts!

So basically, I don't like the fact that we have to change SO much of ourselves just to go to Church. God doesn't judge us by that. But apparently they think its a Salvation thing. They've never actually talked to us about it, but we started going to that Church in March, and I guess since we haven't "Conformed", they haven't been as kind to us, or they haven't had as much conversation with us. I just feel outcast by that, and its starting to really bother me.

As for my friend, we just became friends in June. We went to a Ladies Retreat and really hit it off. We spent a lot of time together. I really liked her as a friend. She led kind of a double life in the way that she would party and drink, but I was the only one in Church that knew. She confided in me cause I don't judge people. And she would let me know that time and time again. But It doesn't bother me, we're young, plus I only stopped drinking a few months before we became friends and a lot of my friends and even my siblings drink and party, so I'm used to it.

But she would come to Church and be the Church girl then. So my brother came to stay with us for the summer, and she really like him. Something about him just jumped out at her. He's 7 years younger than her, so she didn't like him in that way. (He's 17) But they went and hung out one day, so when I met up with them, they asked if she could take him to a party one day. I knew that he liked going to parties cause he's at that age, plus I trusted her and they ambushed me, and I said sure. It wasn't a good Idea, I know. Bad judgement on my part, but oh well, I can't change it.

So later that day we went to the beach. She was in the middle of a pregnancy scare then. She's single, so this was not a good thing. I told her to take the test cause she said she was 2.5 weeks late when she talked to me about it, but by this point it was almost 3.5 I think. I told to test, time and time again. She kept saying she would, but she never did. So we were there and she said "Yes, I will take it today" and out of my mouth came the worst words I can imagine. I don't know why I said it, I can't even remember the last time I said that word, and I didn't judge her at ALL for having a pregnancy scare. It happens. (I got pregnant before I was married when I was 17) But I said "No you're not you lying whore." (Except without the smiley face, I was ashamed and shocked!) I kept apologizing! I even cried cause I felt so bad! What a terrible thing to say!! I can't even believe I said it! And she kept forgiving me and saying "It's under the Blood"

So it seemed like she forgave me, but when Church came the next week, it really didn't feel like it at all. She got someone to sit beside her in Church so that I couldn't (A person that she brought to my birthday without asking or informing me of, she also spent my whole birthday talking with her and pretty much ignoring me. I was upset by that) And barely talked to me. I had texted her asking when we were going to the gym again cause we had made it a pretty regular thing, and she ignored me. Then she avoided me the whole time.

So this was in the first couple days of August that this happened. Then I went on August 24th to visit my dad for a bit. I ended up staying for a week and a half. I hadn't talked to her in about two weeks since that whole incident. But on the way to my dads, she sent a text saying "Love and miss you. I hope you're okay." (I was struggling with some things) And that's the last I heard from her.

Then one night, my Husband called cause we missed each other and told me that she and a few other people (including my little brother) were drinking at our house while NEITHER of us were there!

At first I was just stunned and I cried cause she ignored me for 2-3 weeks, and now she's hanging out with my brother!? That was hurtful. Then my husband called me the next day to give me the story as to what happened. And after talking to a few people that were there, and getting people's stories, what I gather is that she made a plan with my brother to drink right after a Church Youth event that day. Then they went to the Youth Service, and stopped by my husbands work to give him a slurpee and she just threw it at him "We're getting drunk at your house." And he was flustered, and said, "What?" And then she said "Krystal said I could party with Alex." And led him to believe that she talked to me about this and I said it was fine if they did this at my house. He then thought I said it was okay, so he laid out some ground rules and One of them was specifically said "NO Underage drinking" (The Drinking age is 19 here) And apparently she said to my friend, "He looks uncomfortable, but we're still going to do this." and then she gave my brother drinks.

Not to mention she had to strangers there that my Husband didn't know. I knew kinda one of them. She was the one that she brought to my birthday without asking. I wasn't happy about that!

So when I came home nearly a week later, I didn't know what to say to her! I had pretty much the whole story, but I texted her and said "So what's your side of this whole story?"

Then the conversation just escalated from her side. She started accusing me of not letting this go. She called my Husband a gossip. (He vented to ONE person at Church, but didn't use any names. The person figured out who had done this though) I was trying to keep calm, I just wanted to know what happened from her side. She kept saying "Its under the blood on my end, you need to let it go."
She was also saying stuff about how someone found out at Church that she was drinking and said "So and So is my friend, how do you think she felt when she found out I was drinking?"

I said, "I'm not judging you for drinking, but if you're going to drink, don't be surprised if people find out about it."


I told her I wanted to talk in person cause nothing can really get solved over text and she absolutely refused. She ended up ending the friendship. I was distraught. I had pretty much already forgiven her, but she just backed out. (I don't have great luck with friends, and she knew this so it made it even worse) Then my Husband got so upset by calling him a Gossip (HE IS NOT) that he called her. They had a really heated discussion. He ended up saying "I'm sorry your friends found out that you're leading a double life."

HARSH TRUTH! It was very harsh, but that is the truth. She got very offended by that and he said that in the same breath, she defended herself by admitting it. Basically she was trying to defend the fact that she doesn'tlive a double life by saying to him "You know how hard my life is, you know how I struggle with this."

Mostly he was upset cause he had two complete strangers in his house. She was saying that they were the Churchiest Church people, and saints. But That's not what bothered him. It was the fact he didn't know them.

So basically we haven't talked since then. But I was on facebook today, and she was putting pictures of her and friends, and talking about how great her friends are and how life is so great. That was very hurtful for me to read

Sorry for the LOOOONNNGGG VENT. I'm just so upset, and don't understand why she doesn't realize this was a problem. She made us out to be the bad guys in this somehow. (I can type out the Texts for you if you want to read them)

But I just don't know how I feel. I haven't really dealt with the fact that this happened yet. My dad says that she probably feels very ashamed and embarassed that she took advantage and manipulated us like this, that she's trying to cover it up by blaming other people. He says he feels bad for her.

I don't know how I feel.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2011, 01:21 AM   25
Xpecta
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Basically if she was looking for revenge for me calling her that word, then she definitely got it.

Do you guys think I deserve this for saying that to her?



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2011, 09:34 AM   26
blessedmomma
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yikes hun! hat whole situation sounds crazy. first off i didnt know that about the pentescostal church. i had no idea they thought salvation depended on such things. my bible says if you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior you are saved, nothing that we can do adds to what He already did. but hey, to each their own. i dont blame you for looking for another church. i hope you find a good one!

second, im really sorry about your friend. im not really sure how to handle the situation, but i know every person says and does things we regret. thats why Jesus is so very important. you asked for forgiveness and turned from it, that means you repented. Jesus already bore that on the cross, He wont condemn you so neither should anyone else. if i were in your situation i probably would just forgive her. that doesnt really mean that you have to try to remain friends with her. it really just means that you wont remain bitter or angry at her. there is this preacher on tv who says keeping unforgiveness for someone is like drinking poison and hoping they die. its really not good for you to keep that inside and it will eat you up. im not so sure that a friendship wit her is healthy for you or your husband. but it would still be good for you to pray for her.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2011, 10:28 AM   27
Xpecta
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Well, apparently the United Pentecostal Church believes that. If its just a Pentecostal Church, they don't. I went to a Pentecostal Bible Camp for about 5 years I think. But no one has officially told us yet. But yeah, I agree. I don't think its a matter of Salvation at all.

As for my friend, I actually don't feel that angry with her. I really really was at first. But I had time to cool down about it. I guess I'm more hurt by the fact that she just backed out of the friendship and blamed me for it. Cause really, I don't think what I feel is Anger... I'm not exactly sure how I feel. I know that I shouldn't be freinds with her anymore. Its not good for me. Thank you for reading and giving me advice. I'm going to try and stop thinking about it so much. I need to just bluntly forgive and move on.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2011, 12:54 PM   28
blessedmomma
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im sorry you had to deal with that hun. i didnt mean to sound like i thought you were angry. i think we have to forgive even when we are hurt. it sounds to me like she knew she was wrong but wasnt gonna admit it and ask your forgiveness so it was easier for her to blame it on you. she was ashamed for that so obviously she doesnt want to be friends anymore. since she didnt admit her guilt for wrongdoing, she will feel that guilt whenever she is around you. thats a hard feeling to handle. its probably the same reason why she is on fb saying all those things about her friends and how great life is. i think that whole fb thing was completely to hurt you more. i hope it wasnt, but sounds like it was. of course, everything we do is supposed to bring glory to God, so if she had bad intentions behind it and she really is a christian- the Lord will deal with her heart. we have a God of justice and He does not let evil prevail. she may have turned things around on you, but God is not so easily deceived. if she is not living the way He says we should, He will know.

you sound like you have been beat up on the inside, emotionally. the Lord knows how you feel and He will comfort you in your troubles. its good you didnt retaliate and put something on fb or harrass her. we overcome evil with good. and gotta say, it sounds like the devil had his hands all over this.

i know the Lord will heal you from whatever it is your feeling. in the men time, give Him thanks and glory. He is worthy of all our praise no matter what we are going through in life.



 
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Old Sep 11th, 2011, 15:30 PM   29
lynnikins
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J agree with blessedmomma hun as a Christian you need to forgive but that doesn't men you have to still be her friend. i have had plenty of friends come and go because they try to decieve me and expect Me to cover for them when they are in the wrong and I've already made clear my position on whatever they are upto. i don't hold it against them just try to live as i believe the bible tells me to and let God convict them on what they need to fix.



 
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Old Sep 12th, 2011, 02:24 AM   30
Xpecta
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I'm trying to forgive her. I really hope I can soon.

Blessedmomma, your post made me cry. I didn't retaliate on Facebook, but I did update on how I had a bad week. It was cause the baby from my miscarriage was due on Sept/6th. I guess part of me was hoping it would make her feel bad for treating me that way. It wasn't the entire intention, but it was all true. I had a hard week, and the added conflict of her really didn't help.

I guess I haven't really confessed to myself how hurt I am..I just had a big cry about it.

Lynnikins, I know I have to forgive...I guess I've forgiven her for the whole partying at my house thing, but what I have a hard time now is, she said that she didn't want to talk about again. But today my brother went to Church and apparently she talked with him about it, and how are acting "Highschool" about it, and how we haven't forgiven her. She was just complaining to him about it. The stuff that's happening since is what's really getting to me. She is just doing hurtful stuff.

I know I will get over it, but right now its hard. How soon do I have to forgive her?



 
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