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Old Aug 10th, 2012, 01:09 AM   11
MamaBare
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I am so sorry. I lost my baby at 17 weeks and can so relate to what you've written.
The envy is all consuming at the moment. I saw a woman, obviously pregnant, at the hospital when I was going for a clinic appointment. She was smoking and it took all my restraint not to smack her across the face.



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Old Aug 10th, 2012, 09:20 AM   12
MizzPodd
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Hey ladies,

I just made a new post "What else could go wrong". Please somebody read it!!! I don't know how to handle this



 
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Old Aug 13th, 2012, 23:14 PM   13
Beaglemama
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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my little girl, our first child, last week Tuesday at 5:30am. Right now is midnight early Tuesday morning, one week later and I cannot sleep. How can I? Only a week ago I was still with my baby girl.

I completely understand your wanting to get pregnant again. That's all I can think about. Our appt is next Monday and I am planning on asking the dr when we can TTC. Our situation was a little different, they feel our little girl Madison had Turner syndrome, but bc we didn't have an amnio we'll never know for sure. We too plan on having blood work just to rule out any obvious chromosome abnormailities. But if all that is clear, even as scray as it will be, we will TTC again. I believe, with all my heart, we will all have our happy ending. And that's what we have to hold on to.

Stay positive, and I wish you the very best!



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2012, 09:47 AM   14
MizzPodd
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Thank you so much for your words... It is just so hard now because now I am grieving a completely different person after just learning our baby was a girl... How can they make that mistake and wait over a month to tell us it was a girl and not boy...



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2012, 09:53 AM   15
MizzPodd
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I posted my story on here about a week ago... I just got back from my post partum check up and my doctor just told us that the pathologist confirmed our baby was actually a GIRL... Not a boy... It feels like I am grieving all over again.... This whole time we thought it was a boy, and now I just don't know what to do. We already have everything completed with the boy information, social security number.... everything... I just had necklace made and engraved with our boy information on it... I am so overwhelmed now. Our ern has Dejuan Jr. on it. We have been getting so much much better dealing with this, and now we find out our boy was a girl... I am at my wits end... Now we have to change everything as far as birth cert. death cert. funeral information, tell family. Ladies I am so heartbroken and it feels like two swords have gone right through my heart. I have grieved for the loss of a boy, and now I have lost a girl... This is so hard to handle. It's bad enough they said the autopsy was fine, meaning our baby was perfectly fine. But to say oh it was really a girl. Oh my goodness I just lost a baby girl :nop e: I just can't believe it...



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2012, 09:59 AM   16
Beaglemama
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Oh MizzPodd I am so, SO sorry. I don't even know what to say... I guess whether we lose our baby boy, or baby girl, in the end it is simply the loss of our child that is so painful. It's so unfair that you were grieving for your little one, starting to have closure, only to have the rug pulled out from underneath you. I'm truly sorry.

We'll never know with certainty why our Madison passed away either. That does hurt alot. Being my first pregnancy, I worry about TTC again. Was this truly Turner syndrome or something else? Something my husband and I passed on to her? We will never know. And I was so shocked, and numb that I didn't even bring her home with me. I didn't opt for a private funeral or cremation... why did I think that having the hospital cremate her would be easier for me?? Now I am left with nothing. I didn't even think to ask for the blanket she was wrapped in. That breaks my heart. She's just gone. But even if I did have those things, it's still not HER. There's nothing we can do to get our little ones back right now. So, we grieve, we try to live (as empty as it feels to do so) because we have to. Someday things won't hurt this much. We'll actually be happy. We most likely will have our rainbow babies... try to think about that if you can. I know it brings me a lot of comfort.

You are in my thoughts. Grieve, be angry, do whatever you need to. But don't do it alone. We are all here for you. And I KNOW we will all have much happier, brighter times to look forward to! You love and were connected to your baby in a way no one else could understand or come close to feeling - that's so special. Try to think about any happy time you had... because there's certainly more happy times to come.

Please take good care of yourself and keep in touch.



 
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