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Old Sep 11th, 2012, 23:29 PM   1
Pregnant (Expecting)
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I want my baby back!!!

I wish I could turn back the hands of time... I miss my baby. Today I kept thinking, this isn't real. But it is. God I just want my baby back. I look at his box and smell his hat. When I look at my husband while he's sleeping I cry. My baby looked just like him and when he's sleep it reminds me so much of what I can no longer hold. I guess this is one of those days huh?

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Old Sep 12th, 2012, 00:38 AM   2
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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Location: Tacoma wa
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It does sound like one of those days. I am sorry to say you will have more. But things really do get easier. What you are going through is totally normal. HUGS!

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Old Sep 12th, 2012, 03:35 AM   3
Mum (Mom)
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It is one of those days and I still have them even now a year and a half later and I will probably have them the rest of my life
It is only 3 weeks for you and in the beginning we all think it will be ok and we are strong, but reality is it didn't hit me till 2 weeks after, that it was not going to be ok and that is takes a long hard road to get to a place of peace. I am much better now and doing good, but it takes something little to make me loose it and the tears to start falling again. My Sister in law is 32 weeks pregnant and i just know when this baby comes it is going to break me, I already told my husband I can't be around his sister to much until i get used to the idea of a new baby in the family. I have come so far so i can't let this break me. Just take one day at a time and try to do your best, time will heal a lot of the pain but it doesn't take away the sadness or emptiness, i don't think that ever goes away The worst part of this also is the fact nobody understands and in time they think you should be over it, they don't realize this pain is like no other and this is the kind of pain you NEVER get over, you never do and you are never the same person. It has taught me to never judge anyone, before I lost a baby I had no idea what it felt like and ˆcould never ever imagine this pain, so how can I expect others to understand? My sister in law and I have were never really close and this has basically made us not be close even more. She is not saying what she is having ( We both have 3 boys, older) I know almost for sure it is a girl . There is more problems with her maybe naming the baby Sofia, that was my baby's middle name and if she does this it will kill me each time I hear it, she knows how I feel about this. All i can say is if she does this it will for sure not only make me have NO respect for her but my relationship with her will never be the same and most likely will be nonexistent. very sad. I am so sorry for your loss and if you ever need to talk i am always here. I promise the pain will ease but it takes time and we all get there in our OWN time not anyone else's.. XOXOOXOXXOOXO

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Old Sep 12th, 2012, 03:45 AM   4
Mum (Mom)
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,117
I'm so will have 'these days' forever I think, but they do get further apart. I'm over a year down the line from losing my twins and now have a rainbow baby, sometimes I look at her and just cry because I will never see her big sisters again and I wonder what they would be like. She looks like them.

When you have these days, just accept them for what they are. Don't feel like you aren't making progress because you are, it's just one step forward two back sometimes. Big hugs xx

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Old Sep 13th, 2012, 05:03 AM   5
Pregnant (Expecting)
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Location: Scotland
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Big hugs to you Blessedwomb. Somedays I literally feel like screaming, give me my baby back!! I think this is the new 'normal'. I am hoping the coming days will be more gentle, but I guess there will be more hurdles along the way.

AndyPanda is right, no one really understands unless you have actually been through it. We have alot of caring family and friends...but I depend on this forum alot for comfort and just to speak to people who know the pain your going through. Its part of the healing process. AndyPanda, my heart goes out to you. What a difficult situation you've been put in.
A couple of my friends fell pregnant a few weeks after me and their healthy scans are on facebook recently. One of my friends is due in 9 weeks. It hurts. I wont lie about that. I would never begrudge anyone the happiness of a precious new baby but there isnt a set in stone way of how to deal with it. I am happy for them and im just trying to stay positive in my mind that one day (hopefully soon) I will have a healthy full term pregnancy too.

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