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Old Dec 1st, 2012, 09:54 AM   1
hopeful4bfp
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Advice needed...Please help


First off I would just like to say that I'm sorry for all yalls loss, I couldn't imagine what y'all are going through....

My problem is that I have a Facebook friend that got pregnant just a couple weeks after me and we have bonded over our pregnancy. Well when she went in for her gender scan at 20 weeks she found out she had lost her little boy and my heart broke for her but know I don't know what to say to her and I have been trying to be consciencious about what i post as not to upset her but at the same time I want to share my pregnancy like today my ticker says I have 100 days to go and normally I would post it on fb but I feel like its shoving it in her face...

What do you think I should do.... should I continue to sensor my post or should I just go on like before and hope she understands?



 
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Old Jan 19th, 2013, 06:55 AM   2
sandilion
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Hi there - I haven't suffered a second tri loss but i felt i might share my opinion on your thread. I feel in this situation you need to weigh up what is more important to you. To be mindful of your friends feelings or to update your facebook. I know for me i would be considering my friends feelings, especially if they were a good friend. Facebook is just facebook.

I guess you also deserve to do what makes you happy also, but just keep in mind that this sort of thing can ruin friendships unfortunately as i can't even imagine what she is going through.

And dont get me wrong, i totally get the need to boast and the excitement - I was totally the same. But sometimes there is a time and a place for that, and maybe in this instance facebook isn't that place? That's if she is a good friend to you and all. You say 'facebook' friend so does that mean you haven't actually met her before or you have but never were that close in person?

As i said you are well within your rights to go on about your business how you choose to - but don't be too shocked if she ends up resenting you or deleting you.

And going by your ticker this happened over a couple months ago so maybe she will be better with it all now.

I guess this is a personal decision you need to make by weighing up what is more important to you. And for the record, you wouldn't be wrong with either one that you choose. x



 
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Old Jan 21st, 2013, 02:23 AM   3
gnomette
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it all depends on how close a friend she is? if shes a good friend talk to her see how she's doing an ask her there is nothing worse than people treating you like you have grown something awful off the side of your head but she would also not want her loss to affect how you if she is that close a friend cause i am sure that in her head as much as she is hurting she wants you to be happy an have a healthy baby so as long as its not all the time i am sure she will be fine xx
if shes not that good a friend an she is someone you don't speak to too often or have not met or then you can still ask her her opinion an give her warning but if she chooses to hide that status she can there is a button for it at least if she is prepared for it she won't have the shock factor to it x
hope it has helped xx



 
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