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Old Dec 4th, 2012, 20:01 PM   1
brandiw
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Numb....lost....I can't lose my baby :'(


I went for my ultrasound today. What was supposed to be a happy, exciting moment turned horrible in about 10 seconds after they started looking. They found a fluid sac from baby's head to his/her bum, a sac around by the neck, and a sack in his/her tummy, all full of fluid. There was a good strong heartbeat. Right away I was told that it is very obvious Chromosomal abnormalities. I went to my doctor right away, and she looked at the report and said it is not good....IF baby were to go to term...he/she would have no quality of life whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, she said this in a very sympathetic way, not harsh like I made it sound. She then sent me immediately to a specialist. The specialist said the same thing. I got an amnio done....and it is 2-3 weeks until I get results. I will be 20 weeks once the results come in. So, I was told that there is a chance I will miscarry, and if not....we have to discuss the options. That makes me sick to my stomach to hear....I know exactly what they mean....terminate my pregnancy. I feel numb....I feel like my whole world has just been taken away from me, crushed after a 2 minute ultrasound. The thought of "terminating" is horrifying to me....he/she still has a heartbeat....and is still MY baby. I guess the amnio will make everything more clear....but as of right now....I am already grieving....I don't know how else to take all of this.

I had so much support here after my first loss...I was just hoping for someone who has heard of this before, or has experienced it.

Thank you



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Old Dec 5th, 2012, 00:48 AM   2
frstndonly
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I'm so sorry.




 
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Old Dec 5th, 2012, 01:39 AM   3
Leilani
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I am so, so sorry to read this.

Sorry, I have no advice or wise words to offer, but I am thinking of you and your LO.



 
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Old Dec 5th, 2012, 02:36 AM   4
Andypanda6570
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I am so deeply sorry . I lost my Ava at 22 weeks. Everything I thought was fine, I went in to have the Amnio and before they did the Amnio they did a sonogram and there was no heartbeat. I went into labor on my own and gave birth to her, she was my fourth child so my labor was very quick. After testing was done on her there still was no answer, her cells never grew. So my doctor just said he was sure it was a chromosomal abnormality, but I will never know for sure. I know how hard this is for you, but don't give up hope till the results from the Amnio come in, they should be putting a rush on the results. I know it can take 2 weeks, never heard of 3, but my doctor told me ( Before I lost Ava) that he would rush the results and I would know in a week. This is just a horrible thing to go through and I know you are devastated right now, I know exactly how you are feeling. I am really praying for you that they made a mistake and everything will be ok, we are all here for you anytime day or night, you can message me whenever you want, don't forget that. Can you possibly call your doctor and tell them to rush the results, this is horrible that you have to wait so long

Sending SO SO much love to you. Andrea



 
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Old Dec 5th, 2012, 08:40 AM   5
brandiw
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Thank you ladies for your repsonses. I need to vent through all of this....and this is a place where you all understand....

I have made a decision that I am definitely NOT going to terminate. No matter what the outcome is, I want nature to take it's course. Even if that means my little sweetheat dies in my arms minutes after being born...at least he/she is in mommy's arms and can let go. I have to be there for him/her if that happens....I can not let my baby die alone.

I have been researching different syndrome's...and while many have awful outcomes, there are managable syndromes as well....so it is just a waiting game until the amnio results come in. Something like Downs doesn't "scare" me whatsoever....but they are suspecting something worse.

They can't tell me that baby might be a "vegetable" without seeing him/her out in the world....I think that is jumping the gun. I know my baby felt the amnio....the little heartbeat went from 148 to 196...you can't tell me that he/she didn't feel anything....baby knew at that moment that somethin' was in his/her "space"....and wanted it out! My little peanut is gettin' an attitude already Wow....my little joke is the first time I have smiled in 24 hours since finding out.

I am trying so hard to keep even a little glimmer of hope. I have too....I have to fight as hard as I can, even harder...for my baby. I will not give up on him/her....not in a million years. Disfigured, mentally ********, doesn't matter....that is still MY gorgeous babe in there....and me being his/her mommy....will fight to the death for him/her.

Wow....it feels good to vent. Thank you so so much ladies for letting me vent...it means the world to me.



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Old Dec 5th, 2012, 14:03 PM   6
kiki04
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Honey I am so sorry I have a different story than yours as I found out at 16 weeks there was no HB. I never had to come to terms with "making a difficult decision" but I fully support yours. I too would want to hold my baby and have them pass in my arms if that were the case. I am so sorry you are even having to go through this hun



 
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Old Dec 5th, 2012, 16:00 PM   7
Sweetkat
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I am so sorry that you don't have any definitive answers and that you have to go through this in the first place. I am keeping everything crossed for you that the baby is ok and that the doctors are exaggerating. They are only human and they don't have all the answers. I fully support your decision to go ahead. I hope you have your oh/ family for support. Big hugs xxx



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Old Dec 5th, 2012, 16:21 PM   8
dizzy65
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Old Dec 5th, 2012, 17:20 PM   9
April76
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Old Dec 5th, 2012, 22:18 PM   10
socitycourty
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