Baby Boy Born and Died Wednesday

Mbrennan · Jan 20th, 2013, 21:10 PM

This Tuesday at 21 weeks pregnant I went into the hospital for some bleeding. They found that I was dilated 2 cm. they then transferred me to a different hospital where I knew no doctors. After I arrived I was already more dilated then before. The doctors elevated me in hopes that the baby would stay put and that I'd become less dilated. I didn't. I went into labor and had my sweet baby boy at 6:00 pm. He had no chance of survival. We held him and he was so beautiful. I feel so heart broken. I can't stop seeing his tiny face and hands. We bury him tomorrow. Please pray for my family. We need that right now. Thank you for reading. Any of you who have been through a similar situation, I would love to hear from you. Any advice on coping and moving on would be much appreciated.

Leilani · Jan 20th, 2013, 23:46 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Have you named your son?

There is a good thread in the stillborn section about creating memories of your precious baby Here.

I am useless with words, but I can empathise with what you are going through - we lost our son at 25 weeks back in September. Coping and moving on takes time (such a cliche, but true). We had our follow-up appointment this past week, and it really did help answer our questions about what went wrong and what next - we had a post-mortem performed, but not everyone does.

I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

Andypanda6570 · Jan 21st, 2013, 04:48 AM

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious son

You never really move on, you move through it the best you can, but the grieving is forever. Time does ease the pain, it has been almost 2yrs for me in March. I am better than I was , but the grief just comes out on nowhere. You are never really the same person you were, but one day I promise things will get better. Surround yourself with people who can help you and be there for you. This is just devastating and I am so sorry. Sending all my love , prayers . I pray things are gentle on you.. If you ever need to talk we all are here for you , always. Andrea

Mbrennan · Jan 21st, 2013, 07:44 AM

Thank you both for your sweet words. We are burying him today in a small service with family. It doesn't feel really yet. I'm 24 years old and my son will be buried today. I don't know how well I'm handling all of this. I feel more attached to my husband. I feel super alone and sad if he goes anywhere. He is my only comfort for some reason. I don't know how we are going to go back to our jobs separately. Ive started to feel really angry that this has happened while health babies are born around my constantly. I wonder what he would have been like if my body hadn't made him come out too early. He was so little, but so beautiful. He looked just like my husband to me. This was my first time to be pregnant, and the love I felt for that tiny thing knocked the breath out of me. I feel guilty for ever laughing or talking about fun plans that I know he will never be able to do. I feel lost.

SassyLou · Jan 21st, 2013, 09:13 AM

fuzzy_bear · Jan 21st, 2013, 12:17 PM

so so sorry for your loss....

gnomette · Jan 21st, 2013, 13:06 PM

Lottelotte · Jan 21st, 2013, 14:43 PM

So very very sorry for the loss of your little one.

I hope the coming days weeks, months and years are gentle on you.

I think my only advice would be to take it one day at a time. You will get through this, you will never be the same person as you once were but you will find your 'new' normal. Its just rubbish that any of us have to go through this.

Xx

mhazzab · Jan 21st, 2013, 16:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mbrennan

Thank you both for your sweet words. We are burying him today in a small service with family. It doesn't feel really yet. I'm 24 years old and my son will be buried today. I don't know how well I'm handling all of this. I feel more attached to my husband. I feel super alone and sad if he goes anywhere. He is my only comfort for some reason. I don't know how we are going to go back to our jobs separately. Ive started to feel really angry that this has happened while health babies are born around my constantly. I wonder what he would have been like if my body hadn't made him come out too early. He was so little, but so beautiful. He looked just like my husband to me. This was my first time to be pregnant, and the love I felt for that tiny thing knocked the breath out of me. I feel guilty for ever laughing or talking about fun plans that I know he will never be able to do. I feel lost.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

In June 2011 I gave birth to twin girls at 23 weeks, Eve was born sleeping and Megan was born alive and lived for just a few minutes. They were perfect, just born too soon.

Everything you say above, I felt. I couldn't be alone, was desperate for my husband to be with me 24/7. I hated when he went back to work, I was lost. Despite having no reason for my loss I blamed myself, what If it was something I did? Because I had spent all my time looking at baby stuff on the Internet I had no idea what to do with myself. We spent our days talking, going for walks or just holding each other.

What you are feeling is so normal, in my experience anyway.

I hope the funeral went 'ok'. I found it helped, a little.

I met some amazing people in here who have helped me through the last 18 months. You are in the right place if you need someone to talk to xx

Maxparedesmom · Jan 21st, 2013, 16:10 PM

I'm so sorry for ur loss .

I lost my max 12/20 just one month ago., its hard to cope but I try to look forward and put my thoughts and hopes into trying again.. It's what keeps me going . That and my 14 month old son . There Are some hard days where I just don't want
To get out of bed. Or days I can't sit still ... It's not at all easy to loose a child no matter how far along u where or how ever old they were .. I feel for u and again I'm so sorry

Jan 20th, 2013, 21:10 PM	#1
Mbrennan Other New BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 8	Baby Boy Born and Died Wednesday This Tuesday at 21 weeks pregnant I went into the hospital for some bleeding. They found that I was dilated 2 cm. they then transferred me to a different hospital where I knew no doctors. After I arrived I was already more dilated then before. The doctors elevated me in hopes that the baby would stay put and that I'd become less dilated. I didn't. I went into labor and had my sweet baby boy at 6:00 pm. He had no chance of survival. We held him and he was so beautiful. I feel so heart broken. I can't stop seeing his tiny face and hands. We bury him tomorrow. Please pray for my family. We need that right now. Thank you for reading. Any of you who have been through a similar situation, I would love to hear from you. Any advice on coping and moving on would be much appreciated.

Status: Offline

Jan 20th, 2013, 23:46 PM	#2
Leilani AutoSignup (SAAB) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New Zealand Posts: 3,010	I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Have you named your son? There is a good thread in the stillborn section about creating memories of your precious baby Here. I am useless with words, but I can empathise with what you are going through - we lost our son at 25 weeks back in September. Coping and moving on takes time (such a cliche, but true). We had our follow-up appointment this past week, and it really did help answer our questions about what went wrong and what next - we had a post-mortem performed, but not everyone does. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

Status: Offline

Jan 21st, 2013, 04:48 AM	#3
Andypanda6570 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NEW YORK Posts: 5,300	I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious son You never really move on, you move through it the best you can, but the grieving is forever. Time does ease the pain, it has been almost 2yrs for me in March. I am better than I was , but the grief just comes out on nowhere. You are never really the same person you were, but one day I promise things will get better. Surround yourself with people who can help you and be there for you. This is just devastating and I am so sorry. Sending all my love , prayers . I pray things are gentle on you.. If you ever need to talk we all are here for you , always. Andrea

Status: Offline

Jan 21st, 2013, 07:44 AM	#4
Mbrennan Other New BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 8	Thank you both for your sweet words. We are burying him today in a small service with family. It doesn't feel really yet. I'm 24 years old and my son will be buried today. I don't know how well I'm handling all of this. I feel more attached to my husband. I feel super alone and sad if he goes anywhere. He is my only comfort for some reason. I don't know how we are going to go back to our jobs separately. Ive started to feel really angry that this has happened while health babies are born around my constantly. I wonder what he would have been like if my body hadn't made him come out too early. He was so little, but so beautiful. He looked just like my husband to me. This was my first time to be pregnant, and the love I felt for that tiny thing knocked the breath out of me. I feel guilty for ever laughing or talking about fun plans that I know he will never be able to do. I feel lost.

Status: Offline

Jan 21st, 2013, 09:13 AM	#5
SassyLou Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Nottinghamshire Posts: 2,585

Status: Online

Jan 21st, 2013, 12:17 PM	#6
fuzzy_bear Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Trinidad and Tobago Posts: 114	so so sorry for your loss....

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Jan 21st, 2013, 13:06 PM	#7
gnomette Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: kent Posts: 1,646

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Jan 21st, 2013, 14:43 PM	#8
Lottelotte Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Cambridge, UK Posts: 174	So very very sorry for the loss of your little one. I hope the coming days weeks, months and years are gentle on you. I think my only advice would be to take it one day at a time. You will get through this, you will never be the same person as you once were but you will find your 'new' normal. Its just rubbish that any of us have to go through this. Xx

Status: Online

Jan 21st, 2013, 16:10 PM	#10
Maxparedesmom Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: orange county Posts: 248	I'm so sorry for ur loss . I lost my max 12/20 just one month ago., its hard to cope but I try to look forward and put my thoughts and hopes into trying again.. It's what keeps me going . That and my 14 month old son . There Are some hard days where I just don't want To get out of bed. Or days I can't sit still ... It's not at all easy to loose a child no matter how far along u where or how ever old they were .. I feel for u and again I'm so sorry

Status: Offline

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