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Old Sep 30th, 2013, 11:12 AM   1
Mum (Mom)
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Location: Hampshire - UK
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I don't know if I belong here yet....

We have made the agonising decision to terminate my little girl tomorrow who is developing without any kidneys or bladder. I've been given an extremely poor prognosis if she makes it to term with her living only a few hours/a day.

I feel empty, sad, angry and a whole mixture of emotions which I'm sure are just about to get worse.

If there are any ladies who have had to make a decision like this and can offer any insight into the next few weeks I'd much appreciate hearing from you.

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Old Sep 30th, 2013, 12:54 PM   2
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I am so sorry you have to make this agonising decision. I lost my son before he was born, but i know that between finding out he had become an angel and delivering him was the hardest two days. You will get through it i promise, it won't be easy and when i look back, i'm not sure how i did get through it but you do, and you will change as a person by going through it.

Your little girl will always be a part of you.

There is a section on the forum something like ethical prenatal losses (its in the loss support forum) which you have to request access for. You may get more respose there.

I hope tomorrow is as gentle as can be for you, as are the coming days, weeks, months and years.


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Old Oct 1st, 2013, 09:59 AM   3
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i am so so sorry to hear this.

there is a ethical prenatal losses section that might give you more related losses, however you are definitely welcome here i will be keeping you in my thoughts.

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Old Oct 1st, 2013, 23:18 PM   4
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I don't have words in these situations, so I would just like to say I 'm sorry.

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Old Oct 2nd, 2013, 09:57 AM   5
Waiting To Try (WTT)
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I'm so so sorry for this most agonising time and hope you are physically recovering well. Do stay warm and even if you have no appetite, do eat well and rest, coz getting yourself healthy again is really the best thing you can do for yourself yourself in such a hopeless situation. I lost mine at 18+ weeks in April, discovered no HB during routine check, no warning. as a fellow poster mentioned, the weekend between discovering and inducement was the lowest darkest point of my life. Really wonder how to get through it. But being humans, we simply do. . I found focusing on nursing body back to normalcy gave me a direction, and losing the baby weight. Now, at 5.5 months later, , I have happier days than sad. I still think about my baby everyday and cry occasionally but I'm at peace most times, surprisingly. Everybody copes differently. You may feel you'll be never happy again...but your time will come. . hang in there. . We fellow sisters are here to lend support.

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Old Oct 2nd, 2013, 14:38 PM   6
Pregnant (Expecting)
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I'm so sorry xx

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Old Oct 2nd, 2013, 16:33 PM   7
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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I am so sorry. Ive read your story in gestational complications section.

I went through a termination for medical reasons and it is heart breaking.
The actual giving birth was not a bad experience. The hospital were very good and I felt well looked after. Looking back the worst day was the day I found out there was something wrong with my baby. That was the worst day of my life.

It still hurts every day but it gets easier. I was ltttc so I was finding that hard to deal with anyway and am now back ttc with no luck.
I feel another pregnancy will help me heal the wounds but I will always have the scars.

Good luck hun. My heart goes out to you x

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Old Oct 21st, 2013, 04:01 AM   8
Mum (Mom)
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