LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Jun 8th, 2015, 12:36 PM   1
Mum (Mom)
New BnB member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1

I never knew hurt until now

Hello Ladies,

I recently just lost my baby boy. I have never been on one of these sites before and I feel so alone right now. My husband and I flew to PHX to find out the gender of our baby, because the town we live in doesn't have a gender ultrasound place, you have to go to your doctor. Anyway we get to the appointment and the tech was talking and laughing with us because at first we team green but as time went on I was team blue and my husband was team pink. we were excited this was out first child, been high school sweethearts, married 2 years ago, moved across the country from Florida to Colorado. WE WERE VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS BABY. then the tech stop laughing and smiling, she couldn't find a heartbeat and baby wasn't moving. she tried to calm us by saying it could be here machine but to go to the local hospital anyway. we wnt to Banner ER, filled out paperwork, wait an hour, called to the back, the nurse use the Doppler and thought she found a heartbeat. then we went for ultrasound, tech said she couldn't tell us anything that the doctor has too. In my heart I already knew, my baby was gone. An hour and half later the DR. confirmed. My world stopped my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach, I couldn't understand the doctor saying it could have happen yesterday or that day. My husband was trying to be strong for me and it was so hard on him. we fly back home at midnight call the on call dr. the next day they schedule my delivery this past Monday for 7:15am, 19 hours of labor, 400mg of meds to induce me that had to be inserted into my cervix. an epidural that was stronger on my right side then left side then my they had to give me something to sleep since I refuse to sleep. at 2:58am I felt a gush of something coming from me it was dark but I looked down and there was my baby boy laying there in the bed covered in blood and me screaming for a nurse and my husband is in shock. they had him so gently, so careful, it took another 2 hours for my placenta to naturally come out and the ambien they gave me again didn't work my nightmares made sure I relived the delivery. when it was time for the burial services it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Then the question did I want to see my darling son again, of course! he was so little so handsome, eyes, ears, fingers, just perfect only thing he was cold... I sung to him and cry to him. I miss Aaron... this hurts...

Status: Offline
Old Jun 8th, 2015, 13:57 PM   2
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: England
Posts: 953
So sorry for your loss, cherish the memories of your baby boy xxxx

Status: Online
Old Jun 8th, 2015, 18:57 PM   3
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 478
I'm so sorry for your loss. Its been almost a month since I lost my twins and it hurts a little less each day. I'm here if you need someone to talk or vent with. There are no words that can take the pain away or make it better, just know that you are not alone. Hugs.

Status: Offline
Old Jun 8th, 2015, 23:39 PM   4
Waiting To Try (WTT)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Down South, U.S.A.
Posts: 3,338
Very sorry hun, may God give you both strength.

Status: Offline
Old Jun 9th, 2015, 00:36 AM   5
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Finland
Posts: 401
I'm so sorry for your loss xx

Status: Offline
Old Jun 10th, 2015, 00:34 AM   6
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,975
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my son Christmas Eve, so have been where you are. Take all the time you need to heal and just shout if you want to chat.

Status: Offline
Old Jun 10th, 2015, 14:43 PM   7
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 1,827
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you both x

Status: Offline
Old Jun 12th, 2015, 04:49 AM   8
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 492
I'm so sorry honey. Be gentle on yourself, allow yourself time to heal, it will happen in time.


Status: Offline
Old Jun 12th, 2015, 06:02 AM   9
Mum (Mom)
BnB Elite
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 11,853
I am so sorry for your loss!

Status: Offline
Old Jun 12th, 2015, 14:55 PM   10
Mum (Mom)
BnB Elite
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Shropshire, England
Posts: 13,910
Im so sorry for your loss xxx

Status: Offline


hurt , knew

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search