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Old Jul 9th, 2015, 08:26 AM   11
sethsmummy
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Sending you so much love xxx



 
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Old Jul 9th, 2015, 12:39 PM   12
klabro
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I just lost my twins at 21 weeks 1 day almost 2 months ago. I can share my experience as far as holding them and seeing them. When I first went in I was thinking "no there is not way I want to see that, I just can't" My nurse had lost a baby at full term and she really helped me through it all. One piece of advice that she gave me was to do all of the extras that were offered because some day I might look back and regret not doing them. My babies were born alive and at first I said no and before they were even able to walk my little boy across the room I just knew I needed to hold him. He laid on my chest wrapped in a blanket and I kissed his little cheeks and rubbed his face and held his hands. Then I was able to do the same with my little girl. It really has been the most comfort I was able to get from this situation because for those moments it was just me loving my babies and thinking they were beautiful-just like I would have done if they were born at full term. We did have pictures done and at the advice of my nurse-if it isn't something I feel like I can see at that moment put them in a box somewhere and maybe there will be a day when I want to go back and see them. Well, as it turns out the pictures have given me so much comfort in the aftermath because I can go back and look at their precious little faces and know that they were "real". I'm so sorry that you are faced with this. Sending you hugs.



 
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Old Jul 9th, 2015, 13:41 PM   13
LDC
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My emotions are just so....odd. I'm bawling one minute where nothing in particular has set me off and the next I'm...not ok...but managing? I'm just trying to keep busy - cleaned my car and the kitchen so they're sparkling, but I think that's something to take my mind off things and also so that I'm not just sat where I dwell on everything and wonder what if.
That! I was exactly the same. I was up and down for a while. My DH gave me peace when he reminded me that we were lucky to find out something was wrong, and given the option to end the suffering. But sometimes I just think, why me? Why us? Then I started bawling again.

As cliche as it sounds, time will heal all wounds. My original due date was 29/08, as we are getting nearer to that date, DH and I are feeling a bit emotional again but we are coping much better now.

Hope the procedure goes well, thinking of you X
Even in this short time, I've realised how important it is to keep talking with oh and I imagine that that will again become important around Los due date. It's just something that I imagie can seem never ending, you deal with the emotions of the decision, then the first part of delivery, then the delivery itself, then the aftermath, people asking, due date.... It's non stop.

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts as your due date approaches and I send you and your family lots of love to cope xxxx



 
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Old Jul 9th, 2015, 13:51 PM   14
LDC
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Originally Posted by klabro View Post
I am so sorry you are going through this. I just lost my twins at 21 weeks 1 day almost 2 months ago. I can share my experience as far as holding them and seeing them. When I first went in I was thinking "no there is not way I want to see that, I just can't" My nurse had lost a baby at full term and she really helped me through it all. One piece of advice that she gave me was to do all of the extras that were offered because some day I might look back and regret not doing them. My babies were born alive and at first I said no and before they were even able to walk my little boy across the room I just knew I needed to hold him. He laid on my chest wrapped in a blanket and I kissed his little cheeks and rubbed his face and held his hands. Then I was able to do the same with my little girl. It really has been the most comfort I was able to get from this situation because for those moments it was just me loving my babies and thinking they were beautiful-just like I would have done if they were born at full term. We did have pictures done and at the advice of my nurse-if it isn't something I feel like I can see at that moment put them in a box somewhere and maybe there will be a day when I want to go back and see them. Well, as it turns out the pictures have given me so much comfort in the aftermath because I can go back and look at their precious little faces and know that they were "real". I'm so sorry that you are faced with this. Sending you hugs.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your twins, thank you so much for sharing your experience especially as it must still be so raw for you. I am so glad that you had a wonderful nurse to help and support you through, that must have helped so much. I am hoping, like you, that the desire or just what seems right happens on Saturday after my delivery. I think my heart will just call out for what I think is best to do. I have spoken with my oh and told him that I want that feeling of knowing that my angel will have been held and loved before going off on his full journey to the sky. In my head lo will be looked after by my mother, who is also an angel.

May I ask, please don't feel the need to answer, did you know the sex before delivery of your twins? We tried to find out at the scan but the cord was in the way and the leaflet the hospital gave me said that under 22 weeks they might not be able to tell as the genetalia can look very similar, it says it will be the opinion of the nurse and that I'll only know for sure if we opt for postmortem. That kinda breaks my heart a little. I want to give my baby a name, an identity, and know who I'm grieving for when I leave the hospital.

xxxx



 
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Old Jul 9th, 2015, 14:30 PM   15
Jessicahide
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What happened to me and my baby was different but I was personally so glad I held him and kissed him it was my only chance and it gives me great comfot that my hands held his little being and I kissed his little face. That might not make any sense but I know what I mean, but its a completely personal thing xx



 
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Old Jul 10th, 2015, 08:34 AM   16
lizlemon
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Hello, I'm sorry you ar going through this, I went through a 20w loss 3 years ago. My dh was similar to yours - at first didn't want to hold baby, but then did and now says it was the most special thing for him, then at her funeral service he didn't want one, but then after he said it was such good closure etc. I think they should be able to tell you the sex on delivery, we had a pm so that we could get some more answers.
I would reiterate the other ladies advice to have photos taken, hand prints and foot prints done for your memory box. I bought my lo a small toy so she wouldn't be alone. My baby was also pink in colour and despite some facial abnormalities she was the most beautiful, perfect baby to me - and so worth over coming my fear if looking at her! Xxx



 
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Old Jul 11th, 2015, 05:46 AM   17
Jessicahide
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Hello darling, I have been thinking about you how are you processing everything? Are you planning on having a service for your little one XXX pm me at anytime if you need to talk XXX



 
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Old Jul 12th, 2015, 00:35 AM   18
klabro
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I did know the sex of my babies before they were born. Also, you could tell the difference of them both so I would think a nurse would be able to tell you so that you could name your angel.



 
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Old Jul 12th, 2015, 01:56 AM   19
nessaw
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Hi I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. We lost our twins at 15wks and the nurse was able to tell us they were boys. We took blankets in for them and held them-I wasn't sure before if I could. We also had hand and foot prints and photos. I don't look at them much but they're there when I want to. Sending you love and strength.x



 
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Old Jul 12th, 2015, 02:31 AM   20
lau86
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I'm so sorry for your loss, it's a cruel world x



 
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