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Old Jul 24th, 2015, 09:47 AM   61
LDC
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LDC,

Thank you so much for your reply to my post this morning. Hearing someone tell me I can make it through this funeral means a lot right now.

Our OB said we could have intercourse as soon as the bleeding stopped (didn't put an exact date on it). We started being intimate (without vaginal sex) within a couple of days after birth. I know, it sounds crazy, but I was feeling so, so alone and even just kissing, etc. was so comforting to me (and DH). I really don't think it's irresponsible to be (at least mildly) intimate at the moment!

Just a thought on that comment :-);-). So, you are waiting on the autopsy results before organizing a funeral? That must be so hard, just to be in limbo like that. Gardening sounds like a great activity though! At least it gets you outside a bit. I have mostly been in our bedroom or cleaning the house. I should get out too...

Hugs, Cee
It definitely doesn't sound crazy, I found it comforting last night to be close with oh and just be "normal" although it did also make me strangely emotional too. I'm going to wait until the bleeding stops to have full sex, no one mentioned this to me so thank you for sharing what you were told, it really helps. The bleeding seems to have slowed down a little now, I'm hoping by the end of the week it will have stopped.

It's a week today since I went into hospital to deliver - I can't understand where the time has gone, yet the memory is like I could be delivering again right this second if I close my eyes.

I saw a family member this morning with their newborn. Gah it broke my heart.

Xx
Hey LDC,
Wondering how you're doing these days? DH and I decided to get away for a week after the funeral last Friday; it has helped not to be in the same bedroom where I was so sick the weeks before delivering...

I feel the same way about time. It is so strange to think that I lost the twins on 7/7 and it is already 7/24. It makes me so sad, actually, to see the time slipping by. A girlfriend of mine was about 1 month behind me in her pregnancy. She must be catching up to me now. Except I'm actually behind her... Is it awful to be strangely jealous of pregnant women and women with babies? I too went into the hospital to get my pathology records and there were women leaving with newborns EVERYWHERE! I didn't know what to do with myself...

How are you making it through now?
Hi Cee,

I'm glad you managed to get away for a week, it's nice to get away from everything and try and concentrate on being together and try and gain some happiness.

I'm ok, ish. Up I went to see my dr this morning as I'm due back at work on Monday and honestly can't face it. We're still waiting to hear back from the chaplain about a funeral, I think he will call next week as it's been two weeks Sunday since I delivered Reuben. I couldn't face going into work knowing I'm just waiting for that call, the Dr was really nice and signed me off for a while longer which I'm grateful for.

I am exactly the same about the jealousy of other pregnant people / newborns, I'm am 100% the same. We went shopping to get Reuben a blanket for him to be buried with and all around were baby clothes - it broke my heart to think that this should be a happy time and not the sad event that it is. Life is cruel, beyond cruel.

Xxxx



 
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Old Jul 27th, 2015, 03:41 AM   62
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n't even say anything about a follow up for me, but I booked in with my dr today (I needed a sick note) and she did a check of my stomach and general physical and emotional health. She also asked me to book in in 3-4 weeks time with her before I left. Might be an idea for you too? Xxx
My own doctor is on long term sick leave, just been getting random locums, but I need to go back for another sick note in the next week so I'll ask then

Been a rough weekend, returning to some kind of normality feels a long way away at the moment.



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Old Jul 28th, 2015, 08:04 AM   63
Jessicahide
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Hello girls, how is everyone xxxxxx



 
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Old Jul 29th, 2015, 14:42 PM   64
LDC
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Hi Jessica

Been a bit up and down for me the past couple of days, oh has returned to work now so it's odd being without him. I've took comfort in seeing a couple of close friends and being a housewife in a strange kind of way. Think I've enjoyed trying to take care of oh in a way, like being able to get his work shirts ironed for him, making him lunch and dinner. Is that odd?

I've still not heard anything about when the funeral will be though which I'm struggling with, I thought we would have heard this by now. Do you think I'd be able to see my baby when he goes to the funeral director? We brought a blanket for him and a comforter and I think I'd like to go and see him and be able to put these with him myself. Especially as I didn't see him in the hospital.

How are you doing? Xx



 
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Old Jul 29th, 2015, 15:25 PM   65
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Hello, if you phone the funeral director once you know who is conducting it for you (hospital should be able to tell you) they can arrange lo so you can see them and put your blanket in too xxx



 
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Old Jul 29th, 2015, 16:39 PM   66
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Thanks lizle - I know the directors the hospital use but I have no idea if reuben is back from PM yet which is really upsetting. I'm Going to give the hospital chaplain a call tomorrow and see if they can chase things up for me, I really thought he'd be back by now xx



 
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Old Jul 30th, 2015, 04:18 AM   67
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I'm afraid my lo pm took weeks....unfortunately they are often low down in priority list the Chaplin will help I'm sure xxx



 
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Old Jul 30th, 2015, 10:03 AM   68
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Hi Jessica

Been a bit up and down for me the past couple of days, oh has returned to work now so it's odd being without him. I've took comfort in seeing a couple of close friends and being a housewife in a strange kind of way. Think I've enjoyed trying to take care of oh in a way, like being able to get his work shirts ironed for him, making him lunch and dinner. Is that odd?

I've still not heard anything about when the funeral will be though which I'm struggling with, I thought we would have heard this by now. Do you think I'd be able to see my baby when he goes to the funeral director? We brought a blanket for him and a comforter and I think I'd like to go and see him and be able to put these with him myself. Especially as I didn't see him in the hospital.

How are you doing? Xx

No that doesn't sound odd at all xxx the funeral director will tell you if you can see your baby or not, they let us see Frazer but she told me not to pick him up! I am surprised you haven't heard anything yet seems a very long time, would you feel comfortable giving them a call? We placed a PIC of myself and my husband, a little teddy and a blanket in with the baby, my husband placed the PIC and said he " will forever have his hand on his mummy" still makes me cry thinking of how thoughtful that was of him! I am feeling OK, its coming up to his birthday so its a hard time of year but I am keeping positive xxx



 
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Old Jul 30th, 2015, 10:30 AM   69
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I managed to email the chaplain today and within an hour the bereavement midwife had called letting me know that our baby is back at the hospital. I have arranged to go and see him on Monday, which brings me some comfort.

We are also going to put a picture of us with our baby, my husband thought of that and I think it's nice to think that we are altogether. That's lovely of your husband and his words are so comforting, they must bring you a lot of warmth.

Happy birthday to your beautiful baby, I'm thinking of you all and I hope the day goes as smoothly as it possibly can.

Xxxxx



 
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Old Jul 30th, 2015, 11:41 AM   70
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At least you know where he is now x must be a relief! Its funny how men think alike, we worry they won't have a blanket and they think of the profound x thank you darling, this will be the first birthday of his that I am pregnant so its going to be hard.... Especially as its his 10th too! I will be thinking of you a lot,the next few weeks are going to be very hard xxx



 
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