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Old Jul 21st, 2015, 01:03 AM   11
LoraLoo
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I'm so very sorry, absolutely heartbreaking to read your struggles, and then loss of your beautiful babies.
We lost Eve at 5 days old to Meningitis, and Alfie at 18 weeks pregnant. We buried Alfie with his big Sister.
In time, physically you will heal, emotionally is a different story. Let yourself grieve, it's like a roller coaster. The pain never goes? But in time the good days will put number the bad.
Thinking of you and your little angels xx



 
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Old Jul 21st, 2015, 09:44 AM   12
ceve
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What a lovely thing to sign in to this page and find all your warm and encouraging messages... Thank you all...

The funeral was very reassuring to me. It was so much worse to have our little babies in a lab in the hospital histology unit or in the funeral home than in the ground. I much prefer them at peace, and I have felt more peaceful since we buried them.

That said, I seem to have these moments when the reality of what happened just comes crashing down around me. Then I break down again. I just miss them so much!! My little sweeties, I want them back in there!



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Old Jul 21st, 2015, 09:58 AM   13
ceve
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LoraLoo, I just read about how you lost your baby girl, Eve. I am so deeply sorry... Though everyone's story is so personal, I recognize many emotions from your initial posting in myself, especially the feeling that I failed my babies... That haunts me at night. The pathology reports showed that both babies were fine (and their waters never broke); so I just pushed out healthy babies because of an effaced cervix & contractions due to my reduction procedures... Heartwrenching thought...



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Old Jul 21st, 2015, 11:08 AM   14
LoraLoo
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Ah thank you for reading her story xx
Guilt is the worst emotion I find, it's a pointless emotion that only serves as torture to ourselves, and yet we can't help it. You cAnt stop what you feel.
Do you think it would help to speak to a councillor? I've been speaking to one again the last 6 months and find it really helps. Those days when I'm punishing myself, she helps me see it wasn't my fault. If you could have saved our babies, we would have. If I'm having a good day, she reminds me that it's fine and that I am allowed to be happy.
I'm glad your babies funeral brought you some peace, it's a difficult thing for any mother to go through xx



 
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Old Sep 24th, 2015, 09:02 AM   15
elmaynet
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I'm so very sorry for your loss.
You will make it through the funeral and all the days after that. Today is the 25th anniversary of the loss of our first at 24 weeks. I subsequently had a little girl and then a twin pregnancy that I delivered at 28 weeks, one son survived and we lost the other. I still carry my first little boy and the twin we lost in my heart. They are always close and they mattered as your twins mattered. I'm so glad that you got to hold them and touch them and love them. Sending love.



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Old Nov 30th, 2015, 11:24 AM   16
ThiaC
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I cried while reading this thread... All my losses were early, before 7 weeks, which made it a bit less painful.
I named them all, I felt their characters and saw their dreams.

A scientist wrote about an interesting study: When pregnant, bits of dna leak through the placenta. A mother carries her children's dna with her for the rest of her life, and her future children will have her dna strips as well as mother's previous children's dna strips in their body. If look hard, even parts of grandmas dna and grandma's older siblings dna can be found!

Those children, parts of them will always live in you and your children. They were there, they left, but won't disappear.



 
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