Good luck xxx Thats great news that its going to happen soon!

Hi everyone, mind if I join in? About me..

My water broke in the early morning hours of April 13th, and I was rushed to L&D. The OB on call tried to assure me this wasn't my fault, there's nothing I could have done but there wasn't anything they could do to save my baby. They offered to induce but I chose to wait for my body to labor. I only felt cramps when my bladder filled up but that was it. My fluid levels were checked periodically and I had one vaginal exam. I was 3cm dilated and Azriel had some fluid around his head but his lower half had none. By the night, he had no fluid around him at all and no change by the next morning. I needed to go to the restroom when I woke up on Saturday since I didn't feel any of the pressure I was told about, I didn't ask for a bedpan. I sat down and felt a weird sensation down there and instinctively reached down and felt my baby's toes. Tears immediately filled my eyes as I rang for the nurse. They helped me back to bed and prepared a bedpan for me but I couldn't go anymore she then called for the OB to come in. She and the midwife on call, were as comforting toward me as they could be and expressed their sympathies for what I was about to do. It was so hard to let him go, I knew he was still alive but I couldn't hold him in anymore. So despite my heavy heart, I pushed. His chin got caught in my cervix and after resisting pain meds for the majority of my stay, I gave in and accepted. Azriel entered the world with a beating heart and was immediately placed on my chest. He had such a sweet little face and I kissed him and told him how much I loved him. His daddy couldn't be there with us so I put him on the phone so he could say his goodbyes. His brothers said theirs and after we hung up, I said my own goodbyes. He lived for just under an hour and I'm so proud of him for being so strong. I love him, I miss him and will never forget him. Rest in peace, my love, I hope to see you again someday.

When I got home that night, it took everything in me not to hop in my car, drive back to the hospital and ask for him back. Thanks in advance to the creator of this group and all the ladies here..

pinkorblue I am so sorry. These bad things happen for reasons we don't get to know and its heartbreaking. This thread has been quiet lately but the ladies here are great. Share and vent what you need to.

I am so sorry for your loss, your story has made me cry, just thinking of you and your little one.

At least you got to hold him and say goodbye.

Heaven now has another angel.

I'm so sorry for the loss of little Azriel. I'm not around here too much anymore but I wanted to wish you the gentlest days ahead possible. It's such ahard loss I know, I'm sorry xxx

Hello everyone!

Its been awhile since i've been on, but i need some advice, i am yet again pregnant (god all i feel like i do is get pregnant) i am 5 weeks an a couple of days, i'm pondering when to tell my boss because i work in a hospital, and my mum keeps pestering me to tell them soon as she's so worried that i'll lose another, i want to wait because i've become a real pessimist, and if something does go wrong then i dont have to deal with work knowing.

anywho i hope everyone else is well and that there are lots of new rainbow mummies!

pinkorblue - i am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you can find all the support you need here xxxx

christine xx

Thank you very much ladies. Friends and family have been wonderfully supportive. My husband and I are getting help from a friend of mine to plan a balloon release for Azriel, either at the end of August or beginning of September.

Congrats on your pregnancy, Christine!

Hiya Christine, it's lovely to hear from you, and I am delighted to hear you are pregnant again. If you think your boss may be able to help make things easier for you, I would tell him/her, but on the understanding that it is to go no further until you are ready to share. I actually did this with both my pregnancies and my boss did what he could to keep me less stressed while I was going through those tiring first few weeks. I'm glad I did it.
How are thing with you? Are you finding this pregnancy hard so far? I think the very early days were the worst for me, but it did get better, and my confidence grew as time went on xx

Things are going ok, we did have a little scare last week a few days after we found out, i had a few small smears of blood when i went to loo which turned me into an absolute wreck, but everythings been fine since, i just want to get to 12 weeks really, and that first scan.

I cant believe you're thirty weeks! how are you feeling at the mo?

xx

Winter that's great news. I agree with what the others have said.

My little Hannah's due date is fast approaching id be 32 weeks pregnant now I want to do something for her due date but not sure what. I may just end up staying in bed all day. Well be back home on vacation over her due date so I'll be surrounded by family something I didn't get when we lost her so I know my son will be looked after while I "check out".

Also we're getting closer to transfer day. It looks like it'll be somewhere around the 27-30 of this month. Im Excited but nervous and scared it won't work. This is my only chance to be pregnant before her due date something I want so badly.