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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 05:34 AM   1
majored
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18wks fluid gone and baby has died Please advise


Hello All, im 18 weeks and Thursday just gone my waters started to go. They did a scan on Friday to inform me that the baby only had 1cm of fluid around it.

last night at home i used my doppler and i couldnt find the HB so the hospital told me to come in. They also had a go with the doppler and couldnt find anything either.

This morning i had a scan and there was no fluid it had all gone, baby wasnt moving and no Hb. Ive got to go back again tomorrow for another scan to comfrim things.

Then the hole thing can begin. I know its like giving birth etc.
However the doctors have worried me about the fact of too much bleeding or the placenta not coming out then having to have a operation to sort it all out.
This is my third pregnancy and my other two were normal pregnancies but were sections.

So i hope things will be quick with out problems. Ive just got over the fact of
loosing this baby and its still not over, i dont know what to expect and a little frightened about all this all. Any advise would be great

Thanks xx



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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 06:30 AM   2
jojo23
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im so sorry for your loss hun!! i lost my little girl at 22 weeks and they said the fluid was very low around her also but im not 100% sure what exactly it was...all i can say is for me the birth was the easy part, i was brought in and given a tablet on the monday to lower hormone levels etc and then on the wednesday i went back in and was admitted, i was then given the meds to start the labour process, i wasnt in any pain and i felt my watrs break but im not sure about what way they approach having no fluid at all.... and then she came and that was it. please dont be scared of it hun it,afterwards i chose to see her, some women dont but i knew i would regret it, i was expecting an alien like little thing but she was really lovely! the nurse showed us everything and then took her away and i saw her the next day to say goodbye!

take your time with decisions hun, they are yours to make and dont let anyone make them for you!! ask any questions you need to ask and get all the info you need... cry all the tears you want your entitled to!!!!

if you need anything we are always here for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx sleep tight little angel



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 06:33 AM   3
mhazzab
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I actually saw your thread last night in the second tri forum, I didn't want to reply as I was really hoping things would work out well for you, and I didn't want to scare you.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

I think you will have to give birth and go through all the contractions etc and it is heartbreaking doing this knowing what the outcome will be, and I'm so sad you will have to go through this. I think some people at your gestation have been given a different option, to have baby removed by a D&E I think it's called, hopefully someone else can give you more information.

I can't give much advice on being induced or further ops after birth to remove placenta, as neither of these happened to me, my body went into labour by itself and was a pretty straightforward birth, it was just too soon. But I know there are others on here who have been through this who could perhaps give you advice.

Have the docs said anything about what will happen next, if they confirm things?

please feel free to ask as many questions as you like we will do our best to anwer them
xx



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 07:53 AM   4
SarahJane
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Firstly I am so sorry for your loss

Jojo is right, the hardest moment has passed. Finding out that your baby has become an angel was, for me, the toughest part. As hard as it is to believe, the emotional pain is much worse than any physical pain you could imagine.

In a strange way I look back on giving birth to Evelyn and can smile. There isn't much I could have given her but I gave her life and when she was born it was a weirdly happy moment.

I wont lie, labour will hurt a lot but they will give you drugs to make it as easy as possible and they will support you.

I was warned about a further operation also but this wasn't needed as baby came out fully with the placenta. The op they would do is a D and E (I think) to remove anything which hasn't come out naturally, it is not a massivly risky operation from what I read when I was about to have Evelyn.

If you want to ask anything at all PM me and I hope the coming days, weeks and months are kind to you xxx



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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 08:15 AM   5
majored
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Thank you for your replies. At the moment i feel empty i dont know if thats the correct word to use. Its like its not happening to me and i think i have shut it all out to tell you the truth.

Ive done a lot of worrying and crying in this pregnancy as ive had a sch and been bleeding for quite a while. I know i shouldnt look for things to blame but you do. Is it something ive done or didnt do. Was it the Sch, did i not rest enough, eat the right things. Maybe because i was stressed out and had been crying. I tried my best to not stress out but i sometimes i couldnt help it.


Either way its now happened and ive got to face facts.

thanks for your kind thoughts ladies xx



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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 08:22 AM   6
SarahJane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by majored View Post
Thank you for your replies. At the moment i feel empty i dont know if thats the correct word to use. Its like its not happening to me and i think i have shut it all out to tell you the truth.

Ive done a lot of worrying and crying in this pregnancy as ive had a sch and been bleeding for quite a while. I know i shouldnt look for things to blame but you do. Is it something ive done or didnt do. Was it the Sch, did i not rest enough, eat the right things. Maybe because i was stressed out and had been crying. I tried my best to not stress out but i sometimes i couldnt help it.


Either way its now happened and ive got to face facts.

thanks for your kind thoughts ladies xx
Nothing you did made any difference babe. It isn't your fault. It is normal to feel empty, I didn't cry for days. It is also normal to try to find something to blame. It is all part of the healing process. I can promise you that nothing you did hurt your baby. My consultant told me that when I delivered Evelyn. It has taken me 8 months to start to believe it but I am getting there



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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 08:27 AM   7
mhazzab
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i think I went into denial...I went into labour on the Sunday night and my waters broke, but after that, everything stopped for 24 hours. In that time, I don't really remember much, I think I just switched off, and it was like that after I gave birth, I couldn't cry I was just so shocked.

Please don't blame yourself or think that this is your fault. It's normal to feel this way, we all felt this, but, if you could have done anything to prevent this, you would have. There's nothing you could have done.

The next few days, weeks and months ahead will be hard, but you're not alone, if you want support then we are all here for you, whatever you need.

please keep us updated xxx



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 11:10 AM   8
Hellylou
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Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you have had to come here under such circumstances.

I lost my baby boy at 16 weeks after my waters broke early and I had signs of infection also. I had to be induced after it became clear that the pregnancy stood no chance. It was a relatively quick process once the decision had been made, and I took tablets orally to start contractions off, and 5 hours later he was born. It was painful, but with pain relief it was manageable pain. The emotional pain was by far the worst element. The placenta was delivered naturally also, just over an hour later.

I know how it feels to look back and wonder what if I had done this or that, would the outcome be different, but no, it is nothing you did or didn't do. It is a terrible tragic event that is out of everyone's control.

As others have said, take your time with the decisions that you will have to make over the coming days and weeks, and it can be very overwhelming, but do what feels right for you and your family - there is no right or wrong here. It will be a tough road ahead, but you will get through it day by day, and we are all here to support you whenever you need us.

Again, I am so sorry you are going through this. Thinking of you



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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 12:26 PM   9
winterwonder
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Oh hun i am so so sorry you are going through this and for the loss of our precious baby. Try not to blame yourself, it isn't your fault, if you need any support the ladies here are amazing!

Concerning what will happen i think unless labour naturally occurs i think they will likely induce you. Thats what they did to me, you'll have a tablet that will start to get your body ready and then (this is what happened with me) a few days later they'll call you back and give you more tablets to bring on contractions and hopefully everything will be alright afterwards and you wont need to have your placenta removed manually like i did.

I'm sorry if that sounds all scary but it will be fine and hopefully the nurses will look after you and help you make some memories of you little one.

xxx



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2011, 13:16 PM   10
Bride2b
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Hey Hun,I saw ur initial thread on the 2nd tri forum a few days ago...just happened to see the title about leaking fluid. My heart breaks for you as when I read it I knew that the odds for your baby was so slim. I know this because a little under 2 weeks ago I went through the exact same thing as you,I kept checking in and saw your progress but didn't want to post anything. My waters broke and gushed out,they gave me the whole waiting for infection talk & possible termination of the pregnancy too if I didn't go into labour. I was just over 19 weeks. For me it all happened quickly,my baby still had a heart beat,my waters broke at 3pm & contractions stopped for a few hours,returning intensely later that evening & I gave birth at 11.30pm.

Everything you described is what I went through,I really hoped for you that you wouldn't need to find your way here. I know what ur feeling & want to you ask questions & cry if you need to.

The doctors told me that they would induce labor if it didn't start naturally & that I would have to give birth. I had pethadin & luckily labour didn't go on for hours.

You have time to think about what you would like for your baby. I did hold my little boy but not for long.....if you decide to take as long with your baby as you need. The hospital did hand & foot prints...which I treasure as I have nothing else for him. I decided against a photo as I didn't think it was a good idea. I wish now that I had got one,they may offer it to you,if your unsure have one taken but maybe kept in your notes until you decide that you want to see it. These are all very personal choices & it's awful that I am telling you these things but that time once your baby is born is precious & it's a chance for you to spend time. I was not prepared for anything & I'm not sure I made all the right decisions as I had to make them on the spot,as hard as it is I think it's important to think about these things.

Please stay in touch,it's been 2 weeks tomorrow for me & I have gone through all what you have with the hope of keeping the baby in as long as possible to try and replenish the waters. If you need to ask anything then please do...even if you think it's personal...please don't try & get through this alone

Take care xxxx



 
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