The 'chit chat' thread

I bled on and off for about 2 weeks after my LO was born. it seemed to stop for a couple of days and then a bit more.

My first AF came 6 weeks and 1 day after I had had my LO.

After my MMC in July 2009 my first AF came 5 weeks and 4 days after.

on a different note, I have been waiting 4 weeks now for an appoinment to see someone who will do some tests etc to see if we have any underlying problems or whether the loss of our LO was just bad luck.

I don`t see the point of seeing this person. My hormone levels were fine as this was tested on the nuchal scan. There is not a problem with my cervix or anything genetic, as I have already had 3 healthy kids. So that leaves my age, not a fat lot I can do about that.

Doc said we should have appoinment within 4 weeks and still nothing. My DH is still reluctant to agree to TTC again. However, I am due to go back to my doc on Friday, she has been seeing me on a regular basis since it happened to check how I am doing.

DH is going to come with me on Friday and ask a few questions, I believe then he may be able to decide what to do next. He knows how much I need to do this again, although i am worried to death it will happen again, because I am now 40 and the older you are the more problems you can have!

I was just going to ask how old you a\re dancareoi and then saw you put at the end that yr 40, I don't think that is too old and i can't see yr age being the reason for yr angels. Did yr 2 angels happen consecutively or have you had another baby inbetween?

My DH is the opposite to yrs, hes really keen for us to try again, we still want to have a sibling close in age to Ailsa for her to grow up and play with and also he says he doesn't want this to be the last memory we have together or trying to extend our family iygwim. I completely agree with him and do want us to try again as well but I am terrified of it happening again. All the doctors tho were very clear in saying that if we want to try again then we can and there is no physical reason for us to wait, I was even told that I'm still young which at 35 (nearly 36) I was slightly shocked by! But apparently I was one of the youngest there on the labour ward when I had to stay in over night!

Does anyone else feel that when they go on other forums, they can't comment on threads because 'you've lost your baby'? or am I losing it? xx

WILSMUM - I had MMC 09, then had baby in May 10 and then had another MMC jan 2012, so I have had a baby between the MMCs - i also have a 10 year old boy and a 7 year old girl.
When i had my MMC in July 09 I was thinking i was too old then, at 37 coming up to 38 - but the doctor said I`d got years left! Although now I am 40 nearly 41 i know that more things can go wrong, but i so need to try.

MISS MITCH - I don`t go on any other forums, this is the only one I go on.

DH is coming to see Doctor with me tomorrow as i think there are things he wants to ask, I`m hoping then he may feel happier about TTC!

I have an almost 7 year old from my first marriage and then from my current marriage I had an early mc in march 09 and then had a healthy baby girl in Nov 10 and then a 2nd tri mc in march 12, so similar to you although i'm a few years younger, so dh and I know we can have a healthy child together and the Drs have all said we have no reason to wait physically.

I hope you get some answers and the Dr can put yr Dhs mindat rest at the Drs tomorrow

Originally Posted by WILSMUM

I have an almost 7 year old from my first marriage and then from my current marriage I had an early mc in march 09 and then had a healthy baby girl in Nov 10 and then a 2nd tri mc in march 12, so similar to you although i'm a few years younger, so dh and I know we can have a healthy child together and the Drs have all said we have no reason to wait physically.

I hope you get some answers and the Dr can put yr Dhs mindat rest at the Drs tomorrow

Didn`t go as planned at docs, so feeling pretty crap again today.

Doctor says we really should wait to see this Professor. On the face of it she says there is no obvious reason why this happened, but DH is still not convinced.

Doc gave me number to cahse up appoinment, i phoned them and our appoinment is not until 2nd may, can`t believe we have to wait another 6 weeks before we get anywhere near to sorting something out.

I am feeling so sad again, i was clinging to the hope we could try next month, but that won`t happen now. have to wait in this shitty limbo for at least another 6 weeks, I am so upset by this, I don`t want to wait.

DH thinks I am blaming him cos I keep snapping at him. I know its not his fault, he is only trying to do whats best, but i feel resenment towards him because he is the one who is prolonging the agony (i know he is doing it for the right reasons, but it is making me feel so much worse.

I just wish he would say yes and we could just see what happens. I know it could happen again, but the odds are in our favour.

i am so depressed about all of this, it`s been the 10 worse weeks of my lifew and it`s not going to get better anytime soon.

sorry to go, but i feel so shit.

oh hun bless you.

have you tried sitting down and explaining exactly how you feel to yr DH? Also obv the longer you wait the older you'll be and then again the higher the risks.

I do know how you feel when I had the early mc in 2009 after Dh and I had been ttc for 15 months he was adament that that was it and he didn;t want to ttc again, i took it as a positive that it showed that we could conceive a child together but he was dead against trying again as it had been soo stressful. It was awful and it really put a lot of pressure and strain on our relationship, it took a few weeks but he did eventually come round to my way of thinking and now we have a gorgeous daughter. And he's really surprised me after this MC in saying almost straight away that he wants to try again, I really thought he wouldn't want to!

Have you tried mayb suggesting that you ntnp?

Originally Posted by WILSMUM

oh hun bless you.

have you tried sitting down and explaining exactly how you feel to yr DH? Also obv the longer you wait the older you'll be and then again the higher the risks.

I do know how you feel when I had the early mc in 2009 after Dh and I had been ttc for 15 months he was adament that that was it and he didn;t want to ttc again, i took it as a positive that it showed that we could conceive a child together but he was dead against trying again as it had been soo stressful. It was awful and it really put a lot of pressure and strain on our relationship, it took a few weeks but he did eventually come round to my way of thinking and now we have a gorgeous daughter. And he's really surprised me after this MC in saying almost straight away that he wants to try again, I really thought he wouldn't want to!

Have you tried mayb suggesting that you ntnp?

He wouldn`t go for NTNP - the one we just lost was an accident and i was on the pill!!

touch wood, we have never had trouble conceiving, he only has to blink and i am pregnant, so NTNP would result in a PG.

I did say to doc about age, but she thinks it would be a good idea to see this professor . I googled the professor earlier, actually a lady, Professor Quenby, who specialises in recurrent miscarriages and is supposed to be very good, however, we have not had a problem with recurrant miscarriage. It also seems that the results from any tests would take 3-6 weeks, so we could be still waiting another 3 months without any answers.

i just can`t bear it any more, I am a state now and waiting another 3 months is going to make me worse.

I just want to TTC and accept the risks. If i do mmc again i will be devasted, but then i would be prepared to see the professor, because then it would be recurrant. I just think it was bad luck this time.

Sorry to go on, but I don`t really have anyone to talk to. i could talk to my mom, but I don`t want to upset her.

don't worry hun its not a problem - thats what we're all here for!

have they given you a reason as to why they want you to see this professor?

They said to us at the hospital that it is one of those things, sometimes things just don't go/develop right and its more common than you think. And the likelihood of it happening again with you like me as we have had successful pregnancies is slim.
I guess all you can do is explain how you feel to yr DH and why you feel you need to ttc again and explain that yes there is the possibility that it could happen again but as you already haev children together the likelihood is small. and hope that he comes round and sees it from yr point of view.

has anyone said anything about the affects the pill could have had that you took before you realised you were preg? I know it says that if you suspect yr preg then you should stop taking the pill immediately.

Originally Posted by WILSMUM

don't worry hun its not a problem - thats what we're all here for!

have they given you a reason as to why they want you to see this professor?

They said to us at the hospital that it is one of those things, sometimes things just don't go/develop right and its more common than you think. And the likelihood of it happening again with you like me as we have had successful pregnancies is slim.
I guess all you can do is explain how you feel to yr DH and why you feel you need to ttc again and explain that yes there is the possibility that it could happen again but as you already haev children together the likelihood is small. and hope that he comes round and sees it from yr point of view.

has anyone said anything about the affects the pill could have had that you took before you realised you were preg? I know it says that if you suspect yr preg then you should stop taking the pill immediately.

Hi, I believe it was just bad luck adn the chances of it happening again are slim.

I sent an email to the professor, not thinking i would get a reply, giving her a brief history of my age, pregnancies, births and MMC - she replied back - her advice was -`keep trying and i will explain everything when you come to see me`

the fact she thinks to try again suggests to me she doesn`t see an underlying problem - showed DH email and had another long chat. He still wants to see her before making any decisions- so will have to wait at least another 6 weeks before we sort anything.

I was actually on the mini pill - came off combined pill at age 35 as i kept suffering from migraines with aura - i was then put on mini pill in 2008 - stayed on it for about 2 months before coming off it again.
Last year i went back on it in april and got PG in october - doctor didn`t mention this in her thoughts of why it went wrong, so I assume it was not an issue.

She has suggested seeing professor as DH is so unsure of what we should do. She believes seeing this professor may answer some of our questions about how likely it would be to have another problem - i suppose if something major was found, we would at least be able to try and fix it rather than getting pg and it going wrong.


I`m just going to have to limp from day to day as best I can.

How are you doing following your loss?