My friend finally gave birth to a baby girl yesterday. So I've been solely in charged of her 2.5 year old. Surprisingly, she has been behaving really well without the parents around!
Anyway, I visited my friend and baby Stacie in the hospital today and it killed me. Of course I controlled myself really well but it just killed me. I was to have my own little one this early June and someone decided to take him away from us.
I'm not doing really well on my own but I am still strong enough to put on a front in front of my friends. Sad isn't it?
Is it cruel of me to keep thinking that I will loose the bean in me soon? I have almost 0 confidence of its survival, really. Do you believe in self-fulfilling prophecy? When you keep thinking something is going to happen, it will... but yet, I really don't dare or know how to be positive. It is as though I am waiting for something to happen; bleeding especially. I keep having the same image in my head that in my 1st scan, no heartbeat detected.
Perhaps I rather I loose this bean in this 1st trimester to natural causes rather than losing another in 2nd trimester after knowing this bean has survived the odds but MY BODY kills it. Stupid useless cervix and the bacteria in me!
p/s: I feel your frustrations for not able to get the results you need, Tayla. Annoying people!!! Lisa, yay on holidays. That will definitely cheer you and family up.
to you hun! You have done a great thing for your friend, you've been through shit of your own and yet you have still out someone else before you in the 'baby' stakes, thats something to be applauded in my opinion! No, I don't think your mad/crazy/silly for those thoughts, I KNOW I will be exactly the same, I suppose its 'natural' for angel mummies
[QUOTE=WILSMUM;16762101]sorry i've not been around much, it was my sons b'day party yesterday and my mums been up for a few days soo been pretty busy here! Next week will be quieter as he's away with his Dad!
I got a text yesterday reminding me I have a mw appointment tomorrow so that was nice!!!![/QUOTE]
Wow, hope you're ok hun! Sadly, think that happens quite often xx
Zoe, i think you have been really brave - I wouldn`t be able to look at a baby now. There is a girl in my zumba class who is in my zumba class on a monday. i kept looking at her baby and felt sadness it wasn`t me and then anger it wasn`t me. Then i kept thinking when i was PG i hardly moved cos i was worried aboout doing something to harm my baby and there she was prancing up and down - so unfair.
I know exactly how you feel being PG after a loss - it was the same for me when i was expecting my little boy - it was constant worry - especially when i had extreme bleeding at 7 weeks due to a blood clot - i worried until the day he was out in my arms - it`s only natural.
Anouska, i remember after my first MMC getting a call from the hospital to book an appoinment -the woman felt terrible when I told her i didnt need it - i think she phoned the day after it happened.
This time i got something through the post about some sort of baby product or something, can`t remember exactly - luckily nothing else has come since.
Although i did have to unsubscribe from the bounty website cos they were sending emails about now you`re x weeks PG.
Tayla, we are not alone!!!
Hope everyone has a good Easter weekend, could do with the weather picking up though.
We are in Wales and as you say the weather was pants - peed down all day yesterday - improvement today, but certainly not beach weather.
Hope you had a good birthday.
Surprisingly, my birthday was much better than what I expected. Kept thinking 'I should be pregnant' so didn't make any plans, just did things last minute, strangely made me feel better! Whats the forecast for the rest of the week in Wales? xx
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