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Old Mar 6th, 2012, 01:56 AM   31
Andypanda6570
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How are we all? I had a bad evening yesterday, memory box out spread over bed and being looked through. Am feeling ok today though xx
Tayla, I still can't look at my memory box, last time I looked at Ava's sonograms I broke down I know one day I will be able to but not now. I am glad you are feeling better ..XOXOOXXO



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Hi all,

I've been reading this thread since it started but never really felt like talking about it until now.

I have been really good in bottling my emotions and push them wayyyy back into my mind so I could go on with daily stuff. Of course I have my moments and days like today... all because the appointment with the doctor on Wednesday to finally get my results from placenta & bloodworks. I sort of already know I have incompetent cervix (70% sure) but I fear reality. I am very nervous to hear the results from the consultant.

Also I ovulated last week so now I am in the TWW limbo. I have been having scary thoughts like what if my 2nd child falls out of me again? I want to be a mother really badly but I am not too sure if I want to be pregnant, if you know what I mean... Sometimes I wish we can just adopt...

SO sorry for your loss, I am Andrea . I hope you get your little rainbow. We are all here for you always..XOOXOXOX



 
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Old Mar 6th, 2012, 03:04 AM   32
Miss Mitch
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Originally Posted by yellowyamyam View Post
Hi all,

I've been reading this thread since it started but never really felt like talking about it until now.

I have been really good in bottling my emotions and push them wayyyy back into my mind so I could go on with daily stuff. Of course I have my moments and days like today... all because the appointment with the doctor on Wednesday to finally get my results from placenta & bloodworks. I sort of already know I have incompetent cervix (70% sure) but I fear reality. I am very nervous to hear the results from the consultant.

Also I ovulated last week so now I am in the TWW limbo. I have been having scary thoughts like what if my 2nd child falls out of me again? I want to be a mother really badly but I am not too sure if I want to be pregnant, if you know what I mean... Sometimes I wish we can just adopt...

Welcome hun This thread is for whenever you want to talk, not because you feel you have to I am still waitinfg for mine and am petrified. I hope that it all goes well for you xx But if it is ur cervix, there is so much they can do now to help 'sort' that? (sorry, lack of words right now ) and I think I maybe in my 2ww, but am hoping I am not as I want results etc and to take my prenatals etc xx



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Old Mar 10th, 2012, 13:11 PM   33
yellowyamyam
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Hi again,

So I now know what caused my miscarriage - bacteria infection to the placenta which then caused the labour. The doc said bacteria made its way up through the cervix then on to the placenta. Chances of this happening again in future pregnancies are up to 50%. BUT with some tablets into my "back passage (consultant's words, not mine) and antibiotics AND cervical cerclage", he can reduce the chances down to 5%.

I have been quite unsettled since Wednesday's appointment. Somehow, it managed to make me feel even worse! I feel ... I allowed the bacteria to eat its way up? I am quite a clean-freak and my husband can attest on that. So to hear BACTERIA made its way into my placenta??? URGH!!!

Also, shouldn't my cervix have acted as barriers protecting the womb from bacteria? Silly me didn't asked the doc about this.

I also forgot to ask if I would be on bedrest after the stitch... So many questions!!!

And I think I am pregnant. Well, I did a HPT this morning and got a very very faint line. Hubby saw it too but he wasn't excited at all. He said it is too faint so better don't get our hopes up. I tried explaining to him that the line will get darker. HPTs don't pick up other hormones as far as I know. He didn't seem convinced.

I was happy and excited for about 30 seconds before all the horrific images flooded my mind. I think I am just overwhelmed with information. First was the doctor's visit followed by my unsettling negative emotions and now a :BFP:... oh and I am flying to Australia in a week's time to help a very very good friend with her newborn. She paid for my tickets and hope that I will be able to shield her from her mother-in-law who caused her depression when she had her 1st baby! Complicated, I know...

Yeah I think my mind is overloaded.



 
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Old Mar 11th, 2012, 03:57 AM   34
dancareoi
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Originally Posted by yellowyamyam View Post
Hi again,

So I now know what caused my miscarriage - bacteria infection to the placenta which then caused the labour. The doc said bacteria made its way up through the cervix then on to the placenta. Chances of this happening again in future pregnancies are up to 50%. BUT with some tablets into my "back passage (consultant's words, not mine) and antibiotics AND cervical cerclage", he can reduce the chances down to 5%.

I have been quite unsettled since Wednesday's appointment. Somehow, it managed to make me feel even worse! I feel ... I allowed the bacteria to eat its way up? I am quite a clean-freak and my husband can attest on that. So to hear BACTERIA made its way into my placenta??? URGH!!!

Also, shouldn't my cervix have acted as barriers protecting the womb from bacteria? Silly me didn't asked the doc about this.

I also forgot to ask if I would be on bedrest after the stitch... So many questions!!!

And I think I am pregnant. Well, I did a HPT this morning and got a very very faint line. Hubby saw it too but he wasn't excited at all. He said it is too faint so better don't get our hopes up. I tried explaining to him that the line will get darker. HPTs don't pick up other hormones as far as I know. He didn't seem convinced.

I was happy and excited for about 30 seconds before all the horrific images flooded my mind. I think I am just overwhelmed with information. First was the doctor's visit followed by my unsettling negative emotions and now a :BFP:... oh and I am flying to Australia in a week's time to help a very very good friend with her newborn. She paid for my tickets and hope that I will be able to shield her from her mother-in-law who caused her depression when she had her 1st baby! Complicated, I know...

Yeah I think my mind is overloaded.
I think you have some positives to work with here, at least you know what caused it and there are ways of reducing that as a further factor.

Being PG again after a MC is a most stressful and worrying time. I had MMC in July 09 and was PG again in Sept 09. From early on I had bleeding due to a blood clot, so it was constant worry for the whole time. I didn`t stop worrying until my little boy was placed safely in my arms in May 2010.

It is only natural for you to worry and is to be expected.

Going to Australia sounds great, you may find it hard at first with your friend`s baby, but i think once you have got over that, i think it will do you the world of good to get away from the `norm` and the usual stresses of life.

Try and take some `me` time and relax - this could really help you.

Hope you have a safe trip and lots of luck and best wishes.



 
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Old Mar 12th, 2012, 04:14 AM   35
Miss Mitch
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Originally Posted by yellowyamyam View Post
Hi again,

So I now know what caused my miscarriage - bacteria infection to the placenta which then caused the labour. The doc said bacteria made its way up through the cervix then on to the placenta. Chances of this happening again in future pregnancies are up to 50%. BUT with some tablets into my "back passage (consultant's words, not mine) and antibiotics AND cervical cerclage", he can reduce the chances down to 5%.

I have been quite unsettled since Wednesday's appointment. Somehow, it managed to make me feel even worse! I feel ... I allowed the bacteria to eat its way up? I am quite a clean-freak and my husband can attest on that. So to hear BACTERIA made its way into my placenta??? URGH!!!

Also, shouldn't my cervix have acted as barriers protecting the womb from bacteria? Silly me didn't asked the doc about this.

I also forgot to ask if I would be on bedrest after the stitch... So many questions!!!

And I think I am pregnant. Well, I did a HPT this morning and got a very very faint line. Hubby saw it too but he wasn't excited at all. He said it is too faint so better don't get our hopes up. I tried explaining to him that the line will get darker. HPTs don't pick up other hormones as far as I know. He didn't seem convinced.

I was happy and excited for about 30 seconds before all the horrific images flooded my mind. I think I am just overwhelmed with information. First was the doctor's visit followed by my unsettling negative emotions and now a :BFP:... oh and I am flying to Australia in a week's time to help a very very good friend with her newborn. She paid for my tickets and hope that I will be able to shield her from her mother-in-law who caused her depression when she had her 1st baby! Complicated, I know...

Yeah I think my mind is overloaded.
Oh hun at least you know now, i'm dying to find out! I can't stand the wait, although my bloods came back positive for antibodies so I think it's likely going to be that And congrats on ur BFP! I know know matter what we say it won't help, but try not too stress, relax, pamper yourself, do what you must! Ooh lucky you on Australia, you will have a fab time! And I Agree with Dance, it will prob be hard at first BUT you will do a great job!! xx



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Old Mar 13th, 2012, 05:05 AM   36
Miss Mitch
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I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x



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Old Mar 13th, 2012, 08:41 AM   37
dancareoi
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I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x

You are not being nasty at all. I know exactly how you feel. I can`t even look at a pregnant person.

Last week I went to visit my nan, her neighbour had a little girl at the end of feb and she was emptying shopping out of the car, I usually speak when I see her, but not this time, I just rushed straight into my nan`s house. I could`nt make small talk and congratulate her, or risk seeing the baby.

i felt terrible for doing this, but I`m not ready to get too close to a baby!



 
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Old Mar 13th, 2012, 09:34 AM   38
Miss Mitch
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[/QUOTE]


You are not being nasty at all. I know exactly how you feel. I can`t even look at a pregnant person.

Last week I went to visit my nan, her neighbour had a little girl at the end of feb and she was emptying shopping out of the car, I usually speak when I see her, but not this time, I just rushed straight into my nan`s house. I could`nt make small talk and congratulate her, or risk seeing the baby.

i felt terrible for doing this, but I`m not ready to get too close to a baby![/QUOTE]

I'm ok with people who had their baby before I lost Olivia, but anyone after that I think its because me and my pregnant friends would talk about our babies being friends etc and it just hurts knwing she won't be here. What i'd give for fat ankles, peeing every 20 mins and no sleep xx



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Old Mar 13th, 2012, 12:16 PM   39
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GETTING MARRIED

and we are going to TTC end of SUMMER SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!



 
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Old Mar 13th, 2012, 16:42 PM   40
yellowyamyam
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I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x
Hey you, I totally understand what you mean! I have a friend who got her :BFP: a week after I did and they were just "TRYING TO SEE IF IT WORKS" and me and hubby had been TTC for 13 months before my first :BFP:! Anyway after my miscarriage... after about 1 month, I thought I was alright enough to meet her with other friends. Oh how I regret my actions! Until today, I have this hatred towards her. I don't know where it came from but I just hate her. I can't hear/know her baby updates without hating her sooooooooo much!!! So I ended up emailing her saying I need to be selfish and protect myself from more pain. Basically, I've not heard from her since our meet up. I'm glad she gave me space but 5% of me feels really guilty.



 
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