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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 03:56 AM   41
dancareoi
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Originally Posted by DueSeptember View Post


GETTING MARRIED

and we are going to TTC end of SUMMER SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!



 
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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 03:58 AM   42
dancareoi
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Originally Posted by yellowyamyam View Post
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Originally Posted by Miss Mitch View Post
I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x
Hey you, I totally understand what you mean! I have a friend who got her :BFP: a week after I did and they were just "TRYING TO SEE IF IT WORKS" and me and hubby had been TTC for 13 months before my first :BFP:! Anyway after my miscarriage... after about 1 month, I thought I was alright enough to meet her with other friends. Oh how I regret my actions! Until today, I have this hatred towards her. I don't know where it came from but I just hate her. I can't hear/know her baby updates without hating her sooooooooo much!!! So I ended up emailing her saying I need to be selfish and protect myself from more pain. Basically, I've not heard from her since our meet up. I'm glad she gave me space but 5% of me feels really guilty.
You have nothing to feel guilty about. ANy of us who have been through this know exactly how you are feeling.

How are you feeling after your BFP the other day?



 
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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 04:01 AM   43
dancareoi
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You are not being nasty at all. I know exactly how you feel. I can`t even look at a pregnant person.

Last week I went to visit my nan, her neighbour had a little girl at the end of feb and she was emptying shopping out of the car, I usually speak when I see her, but not this time, I just rushed straight into my nan`s house. I could`nt make small talk and congratulate her, or risk seeing the baby.

i felt terrible for doing this, but I`m not ready to get too close to a baby![/QUOTE]

I'm ok with people who had their baby before I lost Olivia, but anyone after that I think its because me and my pregnant friends would talk about our babies being friends etc and it just hurts knwing she won't be here. What i'd give for fat ankles, peeing every 20 mins and no sleep xx[/QUOTE]

I know what you mean, i would give anything for all of that.

My first PG was one thing after another. High blood pressure, bad swelling, so bad had to remove wedding ring,gestational diabetes and having to inject insulin, carpel tunnel syndrome (had to wear wrist supports at night for 3 months)

Second PG - breach baby and worry of c-section

Third PG - constant worry after MMC

i would give anything now to be in any of those positions now!



 
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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 05:03 AM   44
Miss Mitch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DueSeptember View Post


GETTING MARRIED

and we are going to TTC end of SUMMER SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations! xxx



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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 05:07 AM   45
Miss Mitch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowyamyam View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Mitch View Post
I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x
Hey you, I totally understand what you mean! I have a friend who got her :BFP: a week after I did and they were just "TRYING TO SEE IF IT WORKS" and me and hubby had been TTC for 13 months before my first :BFP:! Anyway after my miscarriage... after about 1 month, I thought I was alright enough to meet her with other friends. Oh how I regret my actions! Until today, I have this hatred towards her. I don't know where it came from but I just hate her. I can't hear/know her baby updates without hating her sooooooooo much!!! So I ended up emailing her saying I need to be selfish and protect myself from more pain. Basically, I've not heard from her since our meet up. I'm glad she gave me space but 5% of me feels really guilty.
A week apart? That sucks with it being so close My friend had her baby 2weeks ago and I was bridesmaid at a wedding which she went to, so met the baby for the first time. I thought I would be fine, so I started cooing and then just burst into tears, it was awful. The girl who's baby it was tho has been great, she had a stillbirth a 20 weeks and a mc after so this was her rainbow, we both just cried and she was so apologetic and that made me cry more because she shouldn't apologise for this bundle of joy xx



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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 05:07 AM   46
Miss Mitch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dancareoi View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowyamyam View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Mitch View Post
I really don't know why I do this too myself, I have just gone onto pregnancy 3rd tri forum and can feel the jealousy building inside of me, and want to tell some of them to stop whinging about such silly things when they have a healthy baby growing inside of them! I know its wrong to feel that way, but sometimes I really can't help myself, it comes out of no where! I want this nastiness too go, i'm a nice person not a nasty jealous one! x
Hey you, I totally understand what you mean! I have a friend who got her :BFP: a week after I did and they were just "TRYING TO SEE IF IT WORKS" and me and hubby had been TTC for 13 months before my first :BFP:! Anyway after my miscarriage... after about 1 month, I thought I was alright enough to meet her with other friends. Oh how I regret my actions! Until today, I have this hatred towards her. I don't know where it came from but I just hate her. I can't hear/know her baby updates without hating her sooooooooo much!!! So I ended up emailing her saying I need to be selfish and protect myself from more pain. Basically, I've not heard from her since our meet up. I'm glad she gave me space but 5% of me feels really guilty.
You have nothing to feel guilty about. ANy of us who have been through this know exactly how you are feeling.

How are you feeling after your BFP the other day?
Who got a BFP?!?!?! xx



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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 05:08 AM   47
Miss Mitch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dancareoi View Post
You are not being nasty at all. I know exactly how you feel. I can`t even look at a pregnant person.

Last week I went to visit my nan, her neighbour had a little girl at the end of feb and she was emptying shopping out of the car, I usually speak when I see her, but not this time, I just rushed straight into my nan`s house. I could`nt make small talk and congratulate her, or risk seeing the baby.

i felt terrible for doing this, but I`m not ready to get too close to a baby!
I'm ok with people who had their baby before I lost Olivia, but anyone after that I think its because me and my pregnant friends would talk about our babies being friends etc and it just hurts knwing she won't be here. What i'd give for fat ankles, peeing every 20 mins and no sleep xx[/QUOTE]

I know what you mean, i would give anything for all of that.

My first PG was one thing after another. High blood pressure, bad swelling, so bad had to remove wedding ring,gestational diabetes and having to inject insulin, carpel tunnel syndrome (had to wear wrist supports at night for 3 months)

Second PG - breach baby and worry of c-section

Third PG - constant worry after MMC

i would give anything now to be in any of those positions now![/QUOTE]

Its mad what you crave when you know you'd moan about it id you hadn't been through this crap a xx



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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 06:33 AM   48
WILSMUM
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Hi all can i join you?
My name is Anouska and I'm 35 years old and lost my baby at 18 weeks over the weekend.
I have a 6 year old son from my first marriage. My current DH adn I had a bit of a whilrwind romance and were married 5 months after getting together, its our 4th wedding anniversary on Monday! Anyway we decided to start trying for a baby of our own and as we both had kids from previous relationships we didn;t expect any problems, 12 months passed and no BFP so we started seeing the fertility specialist at the local hospital for tests etc, DH did a sperm test which was ok,not great but ok and then 15 months after we started ttc I got a bfp unfortunaltely it didn;t stick and i miscarried at 5 weeks so back to the fertility specialist we went and I had a lap and dye which showed my tubes were a bit screwed up, there was a way thru but it would make things difficult for egg and sperm to meet! 12 months after my early mc i got another bfp which resulted in our gorgeous daughter being born perfect and healthy. about 6 months after she was born we decided we would ntnp and 6 months later we get a bfp! went for dating scan at 12 weeks (got dated at 13+3) and saw a healthy wriggley baby with a strong healthy heartbeat, a couple of weeks later got the nuchal scan results back as low risk and all was good! We were so excited to be having another baby so close in age to our daughter, we even worked out they would be in consecutive years at school. And then saturday came, I had some slight bleeding when i wiped after going to the toilet first thing, the next couple of times i went to the loo there was nothing so i just put it to the back of my mind and got on with things, then at lunchtime there was more blood so i told dh, range the maternity unit and went in for a check up. Blood pressure and everything was fine, she felt my belly adn all was fine, no pain or anything then she got the doopler out, she couldn;t get a clear heartbeat but said she could hear it herself in the background, which is exactly what my mw had said at our 16 week appointment. she tried for ages to get the heartbeat so that we could hear it but couldn;t so basically said she would get the scanner so we could see baby instead. went thru to the scan room and as soon as the baby came up on the screen i could see it wasn't big enough to be 18 weeks, the dr looked for a bit then asked if she could get someone else in to have a look, we had my son and daughter in the room with us at the time so DH asked the mw if he should take them out and she said yes it would probably be best and then asked if they would be ok staying with a member of staff so dh could stay with me, so tshe took the kids off another mw came in who was also a sonographer and started the scan again and told us straight away there was no heartbeat and the baby had probably died not long after my dating scan as was only measuring around 15 weeks. we arranged to go back on monday for me to be induced but by half 5 saturday night i started having pains which i now know to be contractions! 4 hours later i'd given birth to out baby on the floor in the bathroom, and due to having to wait over an hour for an ambulance i delivered the placenta in the shower cubicle at home, the baby has been sent away for chromosone analysis but due to deliverying the placenta in the shower it became contaminated and they couldn;t send it away with the baby. I had to spend saturday night in hospital and now i'm back home having to get on with things! it just feels like i've stopped and the rest of the world is carrying on around me! i don't know what to do or what i should be doing. it could be up to 3 months before we get the results back but the drs have all said there is no reason why this would happen again and that there is no medical reason for us to wait and we can ttc again as soon as we feel ready. i just don't know if i want to atm sometimes i think i would like to then other times i think but what if it happened again. and then i think mayb i'm just too old, although i said that to the dr in hospital and she told me i was one of the youngest in maternity at the time!
i guess i'm still in shock, its only been 4 daysand i just can;t believe this has happened to us, life feels really unfair at times. And then i go on facebook and see people moaning about their silly little probems and i just want to go up to them and slp them and tell them to get over themselves as some of us have real issues/problems to deal with!



 
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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 06:39 AM   49
Miss Mitch
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Hi Wilsmum, welcome to our group xx i'm so sorry for your loss, my story is quite similar to your, except I was almost 22 weeks and I've been advised not to try untill all results are back as I have antibodies in my blood amongst other problems. I know what you mean about the moaning on fb too! xx



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Old Mar 14th, 2012, 07:18 AM   50
yellowyamyam
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Hi Wilsmum,

I am so so so sorry for your loss. Your story made me cry. I delivered my baby in the toilet bowl at home only about 15 minutes after my water broke. The sight of my baby like that has been pinned in front of my eyes and I see that very picture almost everytime I blink, even until now after almost 3 months. I waited for the ambulance for about 30-40 mins... *sigh*

The reality only hit me about 4 days after my miscarriage along with the pain and aches. It was Christmas and I hid and cried in the guestroom of my in-laws.

I think it is too soon for you talk about TTC another as I strongly believe you need time to mourn the lost of your recent little one. Don't rush into it because I did and I came crashing down again. Ignore those who ask you to move on because you will at your own time.

Sad isn't it ... to "meet" each other under these circumstances...



 
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