I cant believe it has been one month today since I lost my sweet boys at 18weeks.
The past couple of days I have been drinking a lot to try and not think about it but today I have a fresh sense of grief. I miss them so much and I miss feeling them move. This is something I will never understand to be given something so precious only for it to be taken from you in the worse way.

Mummy loves you my Angel Babies until we meet again.x

im so sorry for your loss of your angels. Drinking blots it out for a short while doesnt it and helps switch your mind off it for a while but it makes me feel worse. when i lost jacob i was drinking probably every other night just to help me 'get out of my own head' but the next morning i would feel worse and then spend the whole morning in bed crying.

im sorry i dont have any advice to make you feel better, im starting to feel better now and starting to accept what happened but i think its just as time goes on. i hope that in the coming weeks you start to feel some comfort when things arent so raw. We will always miss and love our little angels. Life is so cruel but there will be light at the end of the tunnel, there's got to be xx

Hi, just checking in on you. Your loss still plays on my mind, it's so sad.


Hoping to see you in tww or even better 1st tri soon (I know 8 weeks seems forever away).

you probably don't want to hear this, I know when I was at four weeks, I didn't believe it, but, it does get better, honestly. I still get so upset at the thought of my lost babies, but I can also remember them with a smile, and I can talk about them now without crying, and remember how much they mean to me and how beautiful they were. Your loss is still so fresh it's normal to still be struggling. I don't understand either why I was given this gift, only to have it snatched from me so cruelly, but, I do cherish and value the short time I had with my girls. I do know that their loss has changed me as a person.

As much as I hate to admit it, some good did come of it - being off on early maternity leave gave me as much time as I wanted to spend with my dying father in his last few weeks, something i couldnt have done otherwise. I don't like to think of this as the reason for my loss, but, it did give me this opportunity. I also met some amazing people on here who will be friends for life, and I am stronger, and never take anything for granted these days.

Tomorrow, it will be a year since i found out I was carrying twins, what an amazing week that was, we laughed about it for days, it was unbelievable.

I'm not sure the drinking will help, but each person deals with these things in their own way, I guess. I couldnt bear to drink - I didn't want to admit my pregnancy was over. if you ever want to talk about your sons and your time together, I would love to hear about them.

My babies passed away, but I will never let their memory die. Me and their daddy talk about them often, and we will make sure their little brother or sister knows all about them. they will live forever in our hearts, as will your sons x

mhazzab I just read your little girls story, I am 22 weeks at the moment with fraternal twins, and I feel so sad for your loss.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support as it helps a lot. I am going to head back and do another round of IVF in about four weeks but want I am waiting to see if the doctors can tell me what went wrong so that it will not happen again.
Hi arj I hope that you are having a good pregnancy and that both your babies are well.x

TwoRdue -- am crossing my fingers that the next round gives you your rainbow....

best wishes