mhazzab - you are so right. It is so hard to make people around you understand how it feels and the truth is they never will understand it.
One of my friends has just had a baby boy and she is keeping at me with coming to meet him and how perfect he is but I just can't do that yet. I feel terrible because I think to myself 'how can she be so truly insensitive about all this'' I know she isn't doing it intentionally because she just doesn't understand what it is like. Another friend is due 8 weeks before I would have been. I have been avoiding her too but I am sure she will at least be able to understand why I have been.
Are you pregnant now with you rainbow baby?
I can't wait to be there but I do know it wont make us miss our angels any less. Any other children we have will have 2 older siblings watching over them.

Im so sorry for you loss and what an amazing name for your little boy xx

I am so sorry for your loss hun x

Some people have surprised me since our loss - I've been very disappointed by some people's insensitivity and completely surprised by other people who have reached out and 'understood', well as much as they can anyway. You certainly find out who your friends are. Don't force yourself to see your friends baby if you are not ready...after my loss it seemed like everyone was giving birth or pregnant and it was all girls which made it worse. It made me feel like a failure that I couldn't carry my babies to term and I was so jealous of those who could. They are just excited about their new additions but it feels like rubbing your nose in your failures (well it did to me anyway) if they are friends worth keeping they will understand. It's almost ten months since my twins were born and only now am I feeling more comfortable with seeing babies. For other people it's quicker, for some it's longer.

I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant and due almost to the day of my daughters' first birthday. I think they will love their special present.
X

I am so so sorry for your loss, I know no words will make you feel better at this point and time.

I lost my twin boys at 17 weeks 5days to on the 13 of march, I had a lot of bleeding for the first 3months and a week before my water broke I started to losing my plug (not that I knew at the time). If you ever need to chat you can message me.
xxxx hugs xxxx

thanks again to all for your kind words.
TJmyangel - River was one of our short list names for our baby but when we first laid eyes on our precious boy, it just seemed so fitting! I think of him constantly.

Mhazzab - thats exactly how I fee. I know she is just so excited to have a new addition, but it really does feel like she is just rubbing my nose in it. I received a text from her the other day saying we should catch up and I had already told her DH that we weren't ready so I really had nothing nice to say so I just ignored the text only to receive another one from her today. We have already told them that it is hard for us to see them right now but they just dont get it.
Congrats on your rainbow baby how exciting and how special to have your due date around the twins birthday!

TwoRdue - wow seems we are in almost the exact same boat except you were having twins. that's exactly how my situation panned out. I had the bleeding then eventually my "plug" if you like gave way and I lost the all important fluid around River. I had no idea at the time what was happening I had never experienced this. I just thought it was more bleeding because it was happening in the lead up to it. What is your plan now?

I only just got my first AF since River. Still waiting for blood tests and what not but my Dr has given me the ok to try again.

didn't want to read and run, sorry for your loss

So sorry, heartbreaking x

I am so very sorry for the loss of your little boy.

Your loss sounds so very similar to mine on the 20th Feb at 15 weeks, I had a number of bleeds - about 4 days before I ended up in a&e after losing large clots but at every scan our little boy was doing fine. I started leaking fluid and went into PPROM also and I didn't realise my pains were contractions before I gave birth.

The loss is so raw and the shock is just unreal. I feel quite at peace about it now and I hope that in time you will too and you will get your special baby xx