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Old Apr 26th, 2016, 16:49 PM   1
Kwicker1117
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Defeated


So I've never posted here before but I've feeling defeated and could really use some support. I have a wonderful 3 year old little girl and have been trying for number two since she turned 2. I'm a stay at home mom so I feel like the pressure is really on with me being home and not having another yet. My "plan" was to have my second child 3 years after my first and to stay home with them for a few years and then return to work. Now here I am with my daughter 3 and still not pregnant. In the 1.5 years that we've been trying I got pregnant one time and immediately miscarried. All of our test our normal. The RE has some thought that I may have mild endometriois based on a blood test that came back elevated but other than that all numbers for me and DH are great. I do not know one person who already has a child that has had any trouble conceiving the next. My husband doesn't know how to support me bc he has his escape from his day job. But I go on play dates and keep my daughter entertained but am constantly reminded that I'm the only one with a child without a sibling which breaks my heart for her. So I'm just looking for some support, advice or just chit chat. I literally feel like I only receive pity from all my friends that just don't get it. We are in the talks of doing ivf now (have had two failed iui's) which is great but I'm also nervous that it will literally break my heart if/when that doesn't work.



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Old Apr 27th, 2016, 02:10 AM   2
tommyg
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One live birth (your daughter) means IVF has a good chance. After 4 years of trying I went into IVF with a I need closure type attitude. I think I would have always regretted not trying. If it didn't work it was time to clear my cupboards and move on. I am 5 weeks pregnant with a FET, early days but 5 weeks.



 
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Old Apr 27th, 2016, 06:36 AM   3
Kwicker1117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tommyg View Post
One live birth (your daughter) means IVF has a good chance. After 4 years of trying I went into IVF with a I need closure type attitude. I think I would have always regretted not trying. If it didn't work it was time to clear my cupboards and move on. I am 5 weeks pregnant with a FET, early days but 5 weeks.

Wow congratulations! Thanks for the encouragement.



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Old Apr 27th, 2016, 12:15 PM   4
maria47
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hello dear.. i suggest that you relax and most importantly don't feel bad.. i am 26 and i know i have fertility problems and i already feel bad about having to try hard and maybe fail in even having one child.. so you are very lucky for your angel.. Eventually i think you will succeed in having a second beautiful baby!



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Old Apr 27th, 2016, 16:35 PM   5
tommyg
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Maria, do you not think the OP was relaxed 18mths ago before she ran into issues or went through the IUI's?

Telling someone who is struggling to conceive through infertility to relax is the most pointless things ever to say. You'd never advise someone with any other medical issue to "relax".

I'm sure the OP is grateful for her DD it doesn't take away the pain of not being able to complete or add to her family.

I don't know how long you have been trying or your issues but you might find ladies in a similar position in the main LTTTC board.



 
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Old Apr 27th, 2016, 20:29 PM   6
Kwicker1117
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Thank you both. I did have a very relaxed approached for almost the entire first year. But multiple months of fertility drugs and treatments do create a disappointment and frustration. I am SO thankful for my daughter and realize some people aren't even able to have one. But that's why secondary infertility is so hard. Because from an outsider you would think I should just be grateful for my daughter (which I am) but I also want her to have a sibling to grow up with. That she asks for and wants. I know you were just trying to encourage me though and I do appreciate it. It's just such a different pain that a lot of people don't understand unless they themselves have dealt with secondary infertility.



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Old Apr 29th, 2016, 00:30 AM   7
xkatiex
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im kinda in the same boat! my daughter will be 3 in july and we have been trying for #2 since last jan. i have pcos and its proving much more difficult this time around! grrr...... we are trying a new approach this month just waiting for AF.
its very hard for friends that have not been through this to understand or know anything to say. they can't help it. i thankfully have a close cousin who went through ivf a few times. with my first i relied heavilly on this group actually! its so hard but we are here for ya!



 
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Old Apr 29th, 2016, 09:00 AM   8
Kwicker1117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xkatiex View Post
im kinda in the same boat! my daughter will be 3 in july and we have been trying for #2 since last jan. i have pcos and its proving much more difficult this time around! grrr...... we are trying a new approach this month just waiting for AF.
its very hard for friends that have not been through this to understand or know anything to say. they can't help it. i thankfully have a close cousin who went through ivf a few times. with my first i relied heavilly on this group actually! its so hard but we are here for ya!
Thank you! What new approach are you going to try this month? I'm willing to try again



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Old Apr 30th, 2016, 10:49 AM   9
maria47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tommyg View Post
Maria, do you not think the OP was relaxed 18mths ago before she ran into issues or went through the IUI's?

Telling someone who is struggling to conceive through infertility to relax is the most pointless things ever to say. You'd never advise someone with any other medical issue to "relax".

I'm sure the OP is grateful for her DD it doesn't take away the pain of not being able to complete or add to her family.

I don't know how long you have been trying or your issues but you might find ladies in a similar position in the main LTTTC board.
there's really no need to get mad.. i meant only good and i tried to say some words of comfort by how i see things.. i am sorry if i sounded weird harsh or anything..



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Old Apr 30th, 2016, 17:21 PM   10
tommyg
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You might have meant only good but you managed to hit a raw, worn very thin over 4 years, nerve.
I hope you won't tell anyone else with a medical issue to "relax". Seriously do you think relaxing will solve your infertility issues?



 
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