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Old Nov 28th, 2012, 05:13 AM   1
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How do you date as a mummy?

I am a member of so many dating sites and finding it unsuccessful so far, the beauty of it though is you can get it out there that you have a baby and if its a problem, they can jog on. The only one I fancied just wanted sex, and that is not me, especially not now as a mummy.

I was just wondering if I DID meet someone, it would be wrong to keep dumping Scarlett on people to go out with someone. It is like I am abandoning her to sort my love life out. I mostly enjoy being alone, I really do, but sometimes I just wish I had someone to give me the love and attention ex didn't. He drained my confidence so much. Don't know how I allowed it, or how he actually cheated cos he is disgusting.

Another thing, when I am out shopping with her, I get a few glances of some nice men but obviously they are not going to ask me out because they will probably assume I have a man with having such a young baby.

For those who have dated since splitting, how did you find it? I used to worry that men would be put off but I really don't care now, Scarlett is number 1, the right man would treat her as his own.

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Old Nov 28th, 2012, 11:17 AM   2
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Sorry I can't answer your questions as there all the same ones a ask myself!

Men don't seem to be out off by LO though, but I wonder what their motives are, whether it's just for sex or there actually interested in me. Like you said LO remains number one and I wonder how a man would fit in in our lives and day to day routine.

I go on dating sites just for the male attention really, it's nice to know that I could have a chance if I really wanted and not every man is put offby me having a baby. Like I originally thought when I became a single mum.

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Old Nov 28th, 2012, 15:24 PM   3
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I ask myself the same things, and often become saddened over it.

I love my little girl more than anything, and wouldn't trade her anything. But I do hope that someday I can get married, give her a stepdad and a sibling. And have one of those happy normal lives people keep posting all over facebook.

I guess my mom would be the person Id ask to watch her. But Id spend some significant time chatting to the guy first to make sure the time spent away from LO is even worthwhile. And if he sounds great, I wouldn't mind letting my mom spend time with her while I go meet him. If we continue dating and things are going great, I'd even consider hiring a (very) trusted babysitter for the occasion.

Do you have family or friends that have a good connection with LO and could watch her on the odd occasion? If not, maybe start interviewing for the occasional sitter. If he's buying you dinner, then it more or less evens out cost-wise

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Old Nov 28th, 2012, 17:32 PM   4
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i also ask myself the same things, but the guy im 'seeing' now (although wont be for much longer thanks to my ex) isnt bothered by LO, maybe its because he has his own LB?
our first date was to soft play then a pub lunch after.

but ive clearly put on my profile that my bub comes 1st, i dont get much time to go out alone & i dont just want someone who wants a shag! haha


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Old Nov 28th, 2012, 18:57 PM   5
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I usually use online methods to date, too, usually craigslist. Sometimes I feel bad about giving up a few hours to go on a date with someone, especially because I'm so busy with grad school at the moment, but I figure it's good to get out and have non-work non-mom time. Right now, I'm being a little cautious about dating, because I'm still getting the feel for it. It's definitely different doing it as a single mom than it was as a single person who isn't a parent.

As for where DD goes while I'm on dates, I'm lucky enough to have my mother in the same city, and she likes having time with her granddaughter, so they both get something out of it.

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Old Nov 28th, 2012, 19:26 PM   6
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Great question~ I am so afraid to date,I would never leave her with her own dad,let alone a guy that isn't her dad.What scares me about dating is,the headlines on the news...about guys that aren't even the father abusing or harming their girlfriend's child.That haunts my thoughts! I would be alone forever before I allow anyone to harm my daughter.Yet becoming a mom,does not mean you stopped being a woman.Guess what? we ALL NEED companionship.God did not create us to be alone~ When women say "I am ok,I have my child" That is the furthest thing from the truth.They are not ok and want companionship.I am broken hearted and in shock still over being a single mother now.Yet at the end of the day,my daughter deserves normalcy and love.I want more children but I am afraid of being a single mother again.I guess we all need to take a leap of faith.I am on dating sites too,super scary but it is straight to the point.I am now into men who has a child as well,I feel I can relate to them more.Before I had a child I dated men with children,so it's a comfort zone.I can't wait for all of us to put up a thread on how we finally found our perfect match

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Old Dec 8th, 2012, 02:58 AM   7
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I've recently got myself out there. I'm not on sites, but I met someone on a nigh out.
I've got 2 boys so for me it's very important to keep them out of it. I've been honest with him and said I can't always come out at the drop of a hat, and if the man is decent he will get that.
We are going on our first date Wednesday. I don't think it's bad u going out at all. Ur not dumping ur lo on anyone, u deserve a break and a life other then being a mum too.

Obviously if u were leaving her all week to see lads then that would be bad but leaving her with someone u trust while she's in bed once a week won't hurt her at all!

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Old Dec 8th, 2012, 06:42 AM   8
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I don't feel ready yet at all, hmmm I guess I will eventually. Mind you, I am 40 next year, so sometimes I think 'why bother now?' But maybe because I'm older, there may be some older man out there and most of them would hopefully be fine with a woman with a child.

Don't feel like you are abandoning LO for a bad reason, its a good reason. A happy Mummy is good for her and being in love again with someone lovely who treats you right will make you happy. Might be much better to find someone else when she is very young anyway?

If you don't mind dating a single dad, maybe find out where they have 'single parent' groups and outings? A friend of mine met her partner at an indoor play centre on a weekend where lots of single dads take their kids lol

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Old Dec 9th, 2012, 19:34 PM   9
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Personally I have no one who could watch her. She goes where I go. I now have been seeing my gf for a month. Lara is too young to remember her atm so I'm less strict but none of that family stuff until I know they're sticking round. My gf is another single mom so she gets it. It works, we figure out a schedule in advance and she sits in my living room if I'm putting her to bed, sometimes it takes an hour.

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Old Dec 12th, 2012, 16:55 PM   10
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Takes the right person to be able to date a girl with a baby but when its the right guy it works . My rule for dating is that guys don't meet my son for 6 month . That way I can be sure they arnt a dumbass whose gunna leave

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