Opinions needed!!!

PrincessSoph · Feb 10th, 2013, 15:37 PM

Hi all!

I have a little girl whose 3 and a half, her father left when I wa pregnant and lives in Ireland (I live in Wales). He went a good 10 months without seeing her due to his behaviour although I never stopped him. He started taking it to court but stopped.

Since he's been seeing her every 6-8 weeks for a night over here, no real consistency. He keeps asking to take her over to Ireland for weekends instead of having her here. I have asked for him to have some long weekends over here first as my daughter is not used to being away from home more than a night so i feel she needs to get used to the longer contact here rather than sending her to a completely strange environment for a longer period of time than she's used to!

Do you think I'm being unreasonable with this? Please be honest as I don't know what to do!

whatwillbe · Feb 10th, 2013, 16:13 PM

I don't think your being unreasonable, she needs to get used to him more before she stays for whole weekends with him especially in a different country x

Ceejay123 · Feb 10th, 2013, 17:57 PM

Not at all x

PrincessSoph · Feb 11th, 2013, 11:24 AM

Thank you! Just wanted an outsiders point of view! X

Natsku · Feb 12th, 2013, 14:29 PM

Def not unreasonable!

ravenmel · Feb 12th, 2013, 19:09 PM

I'd be wary of him taking her to a different country out of the blue. He probably just wants to show her off to his family and have her at his place etc but just concerns me when the guy does a no show for months on end then turns up and wants to take the child for access far away from you?

I think you are right to handle this with cautions.Let your daughter get use to her dad first and build up the trust between the two of you as parents, so you feel confident he can handle/care for her in your absents and your daughter feels comfortable that her needs will be met.

Feb 10th, 2013, 15:37 PM	#1
PrincessSoph Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: South Wales Posts: 4,071	Opinions needed!!! Hi all! I have a little girl whose 3 and a half, her father left when I wa pregnant and lives in Ireland (I live in Wales). He went a good 10 months without seeing her due to his behaviour although I never stopped him. He started taking it to court but stopped. Since he's been seeing her every 6-8 weeks for a night over here, no real consistency. He keeps asking to take her over to Ireland for weekends instead of having her here. I have asked for him to have some long weekends over here first as my daughter is not used to being away from home more than a night so i feel she needs to get used to the longer contact here rather than sending her to a completely strange environment for a longer period of time than she's used to! Do you think I'm being unreasonable with this? Please be honest as I don't know what to do!

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Feb 10th, 2013, 16:13 PM	#2
whatwillbe Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 1,560	I don't think your being unreasonable, she needs to get used to him more before she stays for whole weekends with him especially in a different country x

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Feb 10th, 2013, 17:57 PM	#3
Ceejay123 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Nottingham, Uk Posts: 4,748	Not at all x

Status: Online

Feb 11th, 2013, 11:24 AM	#4
PrincessSoph Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: South Wales Posts: 4,071	Thank you! Just wanted an outsiders point of view! X

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Feb 12th, 2013, 14:29 PM	#5
Natsku Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Finland Posts: 13,326	Def not unreasonable!

Status: Online

Feb 12th, 2013, 19:09 PM	#6
ravenmel Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 371	I'd be wary of him taking her to a different country out of the blue. He probably just wants to show her off to his family and have her at his place etc but just concerns me when the guy does a no show for months on end then turns up and wants to take the child for access far away from you? I think you are right to handle this with cautions.Let your daughter get use to her dad first and build up the trust between the two of you as parents, so you feel confident he can handle/care for her in your absents and your daughter feels comfortable that her needs will be met.

Status: Offline

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