Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old May 20th, 2013, 14:59 PM   1
babycrazy1706
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Uk
Posts: 4,707

prefer to date a guy who already has kids or not?


as a single mummy would you prefer to date a guy who already has kids (who he sees and supports obviously) so that he 'knows the ropes'??

i imagine that to date a guy who already has children and realises the enormity of the job of raising children and juggling and balancing life, would be easier. i.e would a single guy be more likely to be jelous about dividing the time and attention? (obviously he would get the boot if he did)


obviously some childless guys would be fantastic too, whats everyones experiences of dating dads with kids versus dads with no kids? Xx



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 20th, 2013, 16:56 PM   2
Jade--x
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 3,159
My personal preference is I could not date a guy who already had kids. There's many different reasons why to be honest, and one of them is a huge double standard but mainly its because my family unit is complicated enough without adding step siblings to the mix.

My OH doesn't have kids of his own, but my LOs adore him, and he's fantastic with them. All my 4 year old talks about is my OH, asking if he's coming round or if I'm on the phone to someone instantly he's asking if its my OH to speak to him. Its sweet



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 20th, 2013, 17:02 PM   3
babycrazy1706
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Uk
Posts: 4,707
aww bless! thats lovely! i dream of that!

i understand your preference. i kind of feel that way too. Xx



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 20th, 2013, 17:24 PM   4
Dezireey
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Devon, UK
Posts: 1,240
I think I would prefer a man who didn't have kids but would not rule out a man I meet if he has kids and we are compatible. There are pros and cons to both, a man with no kids could bail on me if he realises after a while that he doesn't want the responsibility of helping to bring up another mans child and he has had no prior experience of children. on a positive note, there are no step children to consider and unlike a man with his own kids, my LO would likely be No1 in his eyes, whereas a man with his own children is more likely
( obviously) to put those kids needs before my LO's. But of course, a man with kids can also share many experiences with you and understand about bringing up children. It is a tricky minefield but lots of people have made things work in either scenario, so I have an open mind.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 20th, 2013, 17:47 PM   5
babycrazy1706
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Uk
Posts: 4,707
Good plan to keep an open mind Xx



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 21st, 2013, 01:01 AM   6
Dream.dream
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,151
I've dated both in the past. It's hard dating guys with kids because then you have to coordinate more schedules and the guys I've dated baby's moms wernt exactly nice to me . One of the guys I'm still friends with because of kids are the same age . But it's nice they know what's being a parent is like and they are good with kids

There's pros and cons to both. A guy with no kids has a less complicated life and can work around your child more easily, they have more disposable income, but they may not be good with kids at first and you also have issues with their extended family sometimes because they are dating someone with a child

I didn't have a problem with my second babies dad because he thought ironically he was sterile . So he was happy to except my son .



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 21st, 2013, 05:16 AM   7
Jade--x
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 3,159
When it comes to a partners parents/family I'm very conscious/paranoid I guess about them judging me on having children and instantly deciding they don't like me, or I'm not good enough for their son. Honestly this has never once been the case for me.

My ex's family were absolutely lovely and so welcoming. The first time I met any of his family I met his entire family as it was his brothers 21st. I was terrified lol. In all honesty, I miss his family more than I've ever missed my ex



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 21st, 2013, 06:05 AM   8
babycrazy1706
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Uk
Posts: 4,707
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jade--x View Post

In all honesty, I miss his family more than I've ever missed my ex



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 21st, 2013, 06:07 AM   9
babycrazy1706
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Uk
Posts: 4,707
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jade--x View Post
When it comes to a partners parents/family I'm very conscious/paranoid I guess about them judging me on having children and instantly deciding they don't like me, or I'm not good enough for their son. Honestly this has never once been the case for me
thats really nice to hear!

i feel a bit like you, like i'd be judged for being a single mum with 'baggage'

although if people cant accept my son then balls to them



 
Status: Offline
 
Old May 21st, 2013, 07:26 AM   10
staycutee
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London
Posts: 2,234
I've dated a couple of men who already have kids but it makes it so much harder trying to find the time to see them as they obviously have other responsibilities. If I was single it wouldn't bother me though.



 
Status: Offline
 
Reply



Bookmarks

Tags
date , guy , kids , prefer

featured articles


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search






SEO by vBSEO