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Old May 3rd, 2014, 03:37 AM   1
Louisandemma
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Anyone remember me? - Update.


Hi Everybody, I'm not sure if anyone remembers me from last year? Up until now I've been using a 'Separated Dads' forum, but I feel like I could use some advice from Mummy's on this tender situation.

I posted last year stating that I had a young daughter, my ex wouldn't allow me to see her. however things had gotten less difficult and my ex was talking to me.

well; to update. up until now I've been seeing my little girl once a fortnight (not enough) for a couple of hours. my ex completely refuses to move things forwards or allow me more contact. she wont let my partner meet my daughter (we've been together since daughter was tiny). my LG is now 18 months.

ive not long asked my ex if I could start seeing my LG weekly and shes gone mad, telling me im selfish and I don't have my daughters interests at heart, that she barely knows me.

i dont know what to do we went to court last year, but only for one hearing. before the hearing we agreed i would see my LG for 2 hours a foghtnight (initially), so the judge felt we were able to leave court and work things out on our own. however nothings changed in a year... help?



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Old May 3rd, 2014, 04:09 AM   2
moomin_troll
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She's totally unreasonable and sounds very bitter, especially about you having moved on.
Seeing your daughter once every two weeks certainly isn't enough, and seen as she won't cooperate and she doesn't have ur lg best interests, you need to be talking to a solicitor again for a better access agreement.



 
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Old May 3rd, 2014, 05:15 AM   3
Louisandemma
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moomin_troll View Post
She's totally unreasonable and sounds very bitter, especially about you having moved on.
Seeing your daughter once every two weeks certainly isn't enough, and seen as she won't cooperate and she doesn't have ur lg best interests, you need to be talking to a solicitor again for a better access agreement.
thank you, it's nice hearing that a mother agrees with me. I feel like I should be having my daughter for full days now, once a week instead of a couple of hours once a fortnight. she does let me take my daughter to the park etc on my own, so it is unsupervised. but she's told me I'm not to take anyone with me or take my daughter home (which I couldn't anyway as I don't really have time in a couple of hours). my exs excuse up until Christmas was that my daughter was breastfed and couldn't be away from her for more than a couple of hours, but I noticed bottles at her home and she admitted lately she's now on cows milk and has been since xmas as well as solids of course.

I feel like I should go to court to get full days, and in a year or so ask for weekends... but im worried that if I file for court again she'll stop contact like last time. I don't want to go months without seeing my daughter. I cant really afford a solicitor either so I would have to represent myself. does anyone have any idea of the timescale for court and the procedure? the solicitor filed papers etc for me last time.



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Old May 3rd, 2014, 05:16 AM   4
Louisandemma
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I should also mention that my current partner is pregnant, which I've not told my ex yet. I know she'll kick off and go mad. I do want my little girl to meet my girlfriend and understand that she's going to have a little brother, will the court system care that ive got another baby on the way?



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Old May 3rd, 2014, 09:05 AM   5
KayBea
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ide get in contact with a solicitor.. how are you supposed to get to know your daughter/daughter get to know you if you only see her for 2hrs every 2 weeks. i dont see why your ex wont allow you to see her more?

but yes deffo get a solicitor involved & dont mention the new baby to her yet. xx



 
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Old May 3rd, 2014, 09:57 AM   6
Louisandemma
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I spoke to a solicitor a couple of weeks ago for a free 30 minute session and he advised me to fill in an application myself and take it to the court house, then to represent myself. he said it was out of order, but im afraid of representing myself. im also scared that if she receives court papers she'll stop me seeing her i didn't think to ask the solicitor about timescales. im going to try to get in to see citizens advice next week, but they always seem to have a long waiting list in my area.

thanks for the advice and im glad you agree. i think shes just a very protective mum and shes very scared of me and my girlfriend letting my daughter into our family. i don't think she wants us to bond to be honest, she constantly tells everyone that our daughter is all down to her parenting (which she probably is, but im trying!)



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Old May 3rd, 2014, 11:27 AM   7
moomin_troll
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Anyone with sense would see she is out of order, if it was a case ur a danger then she wouldn't let you near the child. But is clearly using her as a weapon :/
Take it to court, I wouldn't be worried, collect as much evidence as u can and just tell the truth



 
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Old May 3rd, 2014, 12:46 PM   8
Mummy1995
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I remember you! Glad you're getting to see her. But I agree with other ladies, once a fortnight is not enough or fair on you or her. And in some ways I see it as even more important that you get more contact now that she's going to have a sibling so they can have a good relationship as well as you two.

Good luck x



 
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Old May 3rd, 2014, 12:50 PM   9
teal
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Definitely not enough. I agree you should go back to court. You and your daughter deserve to have a relationship and your daughter will benefit from having a relationship with her little brother. Good luck



 
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Old May 3rd, 2014, 15:05 PM   10
daneuse27
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I think you need to tell your ex that the amount of time you're getting isn't enough, and you want this to gradually increase (emphasis on the gradual) so that she can't argue that your daughter doesn't know you well enough. She'll get to know you if you see her a little more often over time, until you're getting fair amount of visits.

Secondly, I could be wrong, but I think you need to tell your ex that you're pregnant. I just fear that if you don't, she'll use the dishonesty against you in court - wouldn't want that. She's going to find out eventually anyway, so why wait.

I used to follow your threads before and felt sympathy for your ex, because I know how hard it would be for your FOB to choose not to be with you when you're stuck carrying his child. However - a fair amount of time has passed, and she should have improved by now. That fact that she still has this attitude makes me wonder if she really knows whats best for Emma, and herself too.

Wish you the best of luck I hope you get to spend much more time with your daughter.



 
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