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Old Mar 5th, 2010, 13:12 PM   1
AtATotalLoss
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39 yrs old, scared, alone and pregnant


Please can somone offer me any advice. To cut a long story short, I fell in love with a guy who I beleived felt the same way about me. However, I discovered the other week that he only used me for my money and that he never loved me and has been seeing other women, particularly his ex girlfriend, behind my back. We are not together any more as he assaulted me and has tried to steal my identity by opening up accounts in my name (that's another story!). I found out early this week that I am expecting his baby though. I hate this guy and want nothing to do with him. My dilemma is I have always wanted a child but not like this. I always thought that I'd be a partner and in a stable relationship and have never wanted to be a single parent as I don't know if I will be able to cope on my own. I have little support around and my folks are in their 60s and have said that I will have to move out if I have the child. My fear is that I am 39 years old and that if I abort I may not have the chance of having a child again. But I don't want to be on my own though. Please can anyone offer any advice as I'm at a total loss. This guy in question is utter scum which I found out too late, and has totally ruined my life both financially and emotionally. Thanks. x



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Old Mar 5th, 2010, 14:31 PM   2
mummy3
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You should be careful discussing abortion here as its against the rules. I have a daughter who was the product of an awful relationship, I went through most of the pregnancy alone and met someone new when she was 2.
It sounds like you very much want this child, your child.
There is help out there, Im sorry you are in this position, would your parents not come round?



 
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Old Mar 5th, 2010, 16:49 PM   3
dom85
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You've said that you always wanted a child, and if that's still the case then the cirsumstances dont really matter.

I know it's scary now as its so new so dont do anything until you're absolutely sure.

I can understand some of your dilemma, I was told that I wouldn't be able to conceive without medical help, but I did, and not in great circumstances. I think the only regret that I'll ever have is that when I found out I was pregnant my first thought was s**t and not absolute elation as I always thought that it would be if I was lucky enough to get pregnant. I was also still living with my parents and in a bit of a mess financially because of debts I'd racked up as a student.

Honestly, Brady has been the making of me. I got of my a*se and sorted out a plan which means I'll be debt free in 5 years, I saved every single penny I could, moved out of my parents, and learnt to drive while still working and dealing with a complicated pregnancy on my own. Now I have the most amazing baby boy and just thank my lucky stars that he's in my life.

I'm an eternal optimist and think there's always a way around something and a way to get what you want, if this is what you want then you can make it happen. I'm not going to say that it's not hard at times, but it totally worth it.



 
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Old Mar 6th, 2010, 13:20 PM   4
suzanne108
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The best piece of advice I ever got was this...

You might regret not having children, but you will NEVER regret having them.

Doesn't matter what the circumstances are, you'll find a way around it xxx



 
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Old Mar 8th, 2010, 06:33 AM   5
sweetlullaby
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Agree completly with Suzanne

Things happen for a reason and we can become better people because of it!



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Old Mar 8th, 2010, 07:22 AM   6
lou_w34
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Deffinatley agree with suzanne!

xxx



 
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Old Mar 8th, 2010, 14:36 PM   7
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Your child will be there for life, but men aren't always there. Even people who are married etc. can end up single parents.

Think about what you really want. How would you feel not going ahead with the pregnancy? A baby although hard work is a beautiful gift aswell. They can be so fun.

Good luck with your decision



 
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Old Apr 23rd, 2010, 05:20 AM   8
babyjay
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Im 39, pregnant, single and due in afew weeks. Your situation sounds very simular to mine. I try not worry about loosing the house because there are so many options to make things work. I have no idea how i managed to stay calm but most of it is because i work things out before the problems arise and have afew back-up plans. If you have a house like me the worst that can happen is you have to sell it and buy again later. I dont have any family and few friends that i want to bother with my situation. If i can do it so can you Just think things through and you will be fine



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Old Apr 23rd, 2010, 18:45 PM   9
lushious09
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At the end of the day whos to say you wont find someone new and better... its your baby nothing and no one will change that, been a single mum isint the end of the world and at 39 i would have thought ud be moved out anyways...



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Old Apr 24th, 2010, 00:21 AM   10
Laura2919
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In an ideal worlds we would have kids with the same man and we would grow old together.
Its not always the case as so many of us here know. There is a lot of women on here who are pregnant and on their own, You can do it.
I dont really have any advice because my situation is completely different.
Hope things work out for you



 
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