Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm 13 weeks, and the father decided he'd rather not stick around for the baby and pregnancy... but then also says he'll pay support, blah blah blah.
He's with someone else, and when my baby is born, I do NOT want it ANYWHERE near the woman he's with.
So, I would rather the father be completely out of the picture. I know that'll anger him, and he'll drag me into court, etc. However, am I allowed to refuse a DNA test? And by doing so, would that make it so he has absolutely no rights whatsoever to the baby?
I don't want his name on the birth certificate. I don't even want him in the delivery room.
Well, you cam definitely refuse a DNA test, but that won't mean that he then won't be allowed access or whatever.
You'll be pleased to know that if you don't want him in the delivery room, or on the BC, then he won't be. That's completely your choice. Not being on the BC means that he won't have any parental responsibility, but that doesn't mean that he can't gain in through court. It also doesn't stop his duty to pay maintenance.
If he does get access through court, he will probably be in a supervised meeting centre, where his partner won't be allowed.
If I'm honest, I think that you shouldn't worry about this too much right now as you're so early in your pregnancy - just enjoy it! Once the baby's born, you'll be in control of whether he sees it or not, until he takes you to court and they decide if how much he's involved. But then, he needs to be bothered to go to court, and that won't necessarily guarantee him any access, if you've state your case well enough they could totally be in your favour.
Thanks for your help. It's hard to enjoy this pregancy. No one knows about it except for him, the woman he's with, and a couple of my friends. He was separated... and looking into getting the paperwork ready for a divorce. And then overnight he decided he wanted to stay with her. Would that all be held against him if he did take us to court?
You can decide not to put him on the BC, and not to let him see the baby, and to not do a DNA test, but if it goes to court you will be made too. You can drag it out for as long as possible, but it will happen, as it is seen as in the best interests of the child.
And too be honest, it is in the best interests of your baby to see their dad (as long as their are no extreme circumstances, drug abuse etc...) My daughters dad wont see her, and i would give anything for her to have a dad who cares enough to fight to see her in court.
At the end of the day, you can stop all these things happening, but the court wont see him being with another woman a good enough reason to not put him on the BC and deny access.
Access wouldnt be with his GF at first anyways, it would most likley be supervised by you, as courts like the baby to be in their home environment
DS's dad was not there during my pregnancy by his own choice. I did not put him on DSs BC. He was not there when DS was born. I filed through Child Support to get a DNA test done. That then made it court ordered to where he couldnt say no or hed be in Contempt Of Court. he showed up and did the test. In about 6wks we got the results of course showing he was DSs dad.
That did NOT give him any rights to DS. It simply said he was DSs dad.
He could see DS if i wanted, but as far as legal wise- it was only a paper that said he was his dad- nothing else.
It was only after DSs dad filed for visitation in the juvenile court that he was award visitation every other weekend.
Then of course the tables turned and now he has custody but doesnt take care of him...but thats another post for another time.
ETA: At 6yrs old- DSs dad is still NOT on his BC. In the juvenile court, BOTH parents have to agree to put the other parent on the BC. I am choosing not to for various reasons but number one because IF his dad was listed, he could change DSs last name and that is one thing i do not want.
you can refuse a DNA test,and if father is still willing to pay for your kid then let it happen,if you dont wan his name on certificate or access its your decision.
If you wana avoid him going court to get access make your own arrangement where he spends time with your child away from the girlfriend and that this needs to be done as he needs to bond and be able to get use to being a father.Tell him at a later date your allow the girlfriend at some point to get involved if you think its a good idea,if shes only been in his life 5 minutes i'd understand but if its something thats been going along time allow time at a later date.If he requests a DNA and you want financial support for your baby i would take it that way,it cant be denyed and nothing can be held against you.
Its your right to refuse a DNA test - Although I don't think it would make much of a difference. Its your choice whether or not to put him on the birth certificate.
At the end of the day he can always go through court if he wants to see his child, and unless you have good reason for not wanting him to be a Dad, it'd be an awful decision not to let your child have that. If hes a bad person, I understand , if not.. It's selfish to not let him see the child.
And is there a reason you don't want his new partner near your child?
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