Bit of background.. me and ex husband have now been separated for just over a year and a half. Split when was 6 or so weeks pregnant with 2nd child after finally found out he was cheating rather than just "thinking" he was.
Fast forward to now, we have a 1 year old and a 3 year old together. He currently has them 3 days and 3 nights a week. I never wanted him to have so much access, but because I always feel guilty and get stressed with confrontation I have given in and allowed him what he wants every time.
I applied for mediation which he has finally accepted (though doesn't look like he will be going to any more appointments). I wanted to reduce access to weekends only, so he would not be involved with education. But he is refusing any changes I try to make. He has parental responsibility because we were married so is saying he wants shared access and nothing more.
I struggle along as a single mum. My finances are screwed because when we separated we both took on major debts which I am trying hard to deal with.
He has accused my bf of hitting my son. Bad mouths me to anyone who will listen including complete strangers. Tells them it was me who cheated on him, that he is a perfect dad and will go for full custody if I don't do what he wants. Tells people I mentally and physically abuse my children.
He has a different gf every month and introduces them to the kids within a few days to a week of seeing them. So my eldest forms an attachment, but then doesnt understand when suddenly they are gone.
He has inappropriate conversations with or infront of my eldest. Tells him mummy is stupid because mummy is on benefits. Tells him that he doesnt want to live at mummys, he wants to live at daddys.
He works 1-2 nights a week but cash in hand and claims jsa saying he doesnt work. I get no maintanence from him yet he keeps asking me to voluntary sign over half of my child benefit and tax credits.
He teaches my eldest swear words and belittles me to him all the time.
I feel like a rubbish mum. Have no idea where to go from here or what to do for the best. I just want happy children and a happy mum. I want to make sure they do not grow up confused or damaged by this situation.
Anyone had simular experiences or have any advice that may help?
Well for a start shame on your ex husband for even bad mouthing you at all let alone calling you stupid to your own child.
I personally would take that sucker to court! Sounds like he could do with a nasty shock, fight him all the way! Thats a lot of contact, FOB has the twins every other weekend and one day in the week but because he hasnt got much money he is doing overtime so misses the day during the week. I'd never agree to that much. As for your debts, have you contacted a debt management company or even the Job Centre? my best friend had her debts written off after her FOB walked out on her, she couldnt afford all the debts she had. I would definitely try and contact someone to help hun.
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