Hi! waves Very nearly here! Q about telling FOB when there's been no contact.

londonbump2 · Dec 13th, 2011, 16:48 PM

Hi, hi, I'm nearly a single mummy, very nearly... get him out! You're cooked young man and there's no room left!

The fob and I haven't spoken since I was 12 weeks, he came to my 12 week scan, we spoke a few days later and then he decided to ignore me (his girlfriend I didn't know about until i found out I was pregnant had just gotten back from holiday, lovely).

I text him and tried to call him after I had a gender scan and tried at another point when I was being very emotional. Haven't attempted to get in touch since then though, think it was about 20ish weeks.

Not sure if I should let him know when bubba gets here, from past behaviour he'll probably just ignore me and that'll just really upset me all over again. At the same time I want to give him another chance to be part of his life, it breaks my heart that bubs won't have his dad

Lemonflower · Dec 14th, 2011, 02:22 AM

I would get a family member or friend to text him when baby is here. Name, weight, time, healthy ect.....
Or if you're strong enough I would just send that yourself and see what happens.

I'm in the same situation, i know I'm gonna be really emotional when baby is born that is why my mum will text fob. He wants to be in the baby's life but in your situation even though it hurts I think he still needs to know when LO is here, then at least you can tell your son in years to come that you did everything you could.
xxx

jessrabbit · Dec 14th, 2011, 03:25 AM

At least if you let him know, whether you do it or someone else does, he cant turn around and use it against you in future. You can also rest assured you gave him every opportunity to be involved and it was him that chose not to be and you never stood in his way x

MummyJade · Dec 14th, 2011, 05:30 AM

I think letting someone text him all the details once baby is here, is a good idea, you don't have to get upset writing the text, as its a massive emotional thing you would of just been through....

Then obviously if he wants to see baby he will reply asking. if not you just get on with it.. Once baby is here you will have a beautiful little person to think and be a mummy too that you wont think of FOB as much... You do get your days when you look at little one and think 'why doesn't he bother'... But then i think his loss..

Your baby will be loved by many and have you
x

teal · Dec 14th, 2011, 07:51 AM

My ex said he didn't want to know anything but I still emailed him when I had the baby but by then he had closed his email account so it came back undelivered. He moved address, changed his phone number so email was the last contact option. Nothing.

Even if he doesn't reply honey you'll know you tried xx

xAmiixLouisex · Dec 15th, 2011, 00:43 AM

I agree with the girls above.

I'm planning on just sending a group text when LO's here.. Jay's name, time of birth, weight, etc. I'm just gonna include him in the group text. Not going out of my way. If he doesn't text back, I probably wont notice.. Because the rest of the group will flood my phone with congratulation texts anyway

But yeah, if you tell him.. It can never be used against you.

londonbump2 · Dec 15th, 2011, 14:59 PM

Thanks ladies

A text is probably the best idea, not that he'll actually respond!

Laura2919 · Dec 15th, 2011, 16:26 PM

I agree with the girls above.. At least then you can hold your head up high and know you let him know. What he chooses to do is his choice.

Dec 13th, 2011, 16:48 PM	#1
londonbump2 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 662	Hi! waves Very nearly here! Q about telling FOB when there's been no contact. Hi, hi, I'm nearly a single mummy, very nearly... get him out! You're cooked young man and there's no room left! The fob and I haven't spoken since I was 12 weeks, he came to my 12 week scan, we spoke a few days later and then he decided to ignore me (his girlfriend I didn't know about until i found out I was pregnant had just gotten back from holiday, lovely). I text him and tried to call him after I had a gender scan and tried at another point when I was being very emotional. Haven't attempted to get in touch since then though, think it was about 20ish weeks. Not sure if I should let him know when bubba gets here, from past behaviour he'll probably just ignore me and that'll just really upset me all over again. At the same time I want to give him another chance to be part of his life, it breaks my heart that bubs won't have his dad

Status: Offline

Dec 14th, 2011, 02:22 AM	#2
Lemonflower Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: UK Posts: 371	I would get a family member or friend to text him when baby is here. Name, weight, time, healthy ect..... Or if you're strong enough I would just send that yourself and see what happens. I'm in the same situation, i know I'm gonna be really emotional when baby is born that is why my mum will text fob. He wants to be in the baby's life but in your situation even though it hurts I think he still needs to know when LO is here, then at least you can tell your son in years to come that you did everything you could. xxx

Status: Offline

Dec 14th, 2011, 03:25 AM	#3
jessrabbit Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Midlands Posts: 490	At least if you let him know, whether you do it or someone else does, he cant turn around and use it against you in future. You can also rest assured you gave him every opportunity to be involved and it was him that chose not to be and you never stood in his way x

Status: Offline

Dec 14th, 2011, 05:30 AM	#4
MummyJade Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Bath Posts: 3,677	I think letting someone text him all the details once baby is here, is a good idea, you don't have to get upset writing the text, as its a massive emotional thing you would of just been through.... Then obviously if he wants to see baby he will reply asking. if not you just get on with it.. Once baby is here you will have a beautiful little person to think and be a mummy too that you wont think of FOB as much... You do get your days when you look at little one and think 'why doesn't he bother'... But then i think his loss.. Your baby will be loved by many and have you x

Status: Offline

Dec 14th, 2011, 07:51 AM	#5
teal Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 12,868	My ex said he didn't want to know anything but I still emailed him when I had the baby but by then he had closed his email account so it came back undelivered. He moved address, changed his phone number so email was the last contact option. Nothing. Even if he doesn't reply honey you'll know you tried xx

Status: Offline

Dec 15th, 2011, 00:43 AM	#6
xAmiixLouisex Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Birmingham, UK. Posts: 2,227	I agree with the girls above. I'm planning on just sending a group text when LO's here.. Jay's name, time of birth, weight, etc. I'm just gonna include him in the group text. Not going out of my way. If he doesn't text back, I probably wont notice.. Because the rest of the group will flood my phone with congratulation texts anyway But yeah, if you tell him.. It can never be used against you.

Status: Offline

Dec 15th, 2011, 14:59 PM	#7
londonbump2 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 662	Thanks ladies A text is probably the best idea, not that he'll actually respond!

Status: Offline

Dec 15th, 2011, 16:26 PM	#8
Laura2919 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 15,770	I agree with the girls above.. At least then you can hold your head up high and know you let him know. What he chooses to do is his choice.

Status: Offline

User Name		Remember Me?
Password

Hi! *waves* Very nearly here! Q about telling FOB when there's been no contact.

Hi! waves Very nearly here! Q about telling FOB when there's been no contact.